


Give me your best Roar

by MisakillDatMonkey



Series: Give me your best Roar [2]
Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Bit of angst some other times, Bogeyman!Saru, Child!Misaki, Don't let it fool you it's mostly fluff and fun and dorks in love but it has a minor dark side too, Fluff sometimes, Halloween AU, He grows in each chapter until he's an adult too, Kind of Rise of the Guardians AU, M is justified by chapters 15 and 20, M/M, Saruhiko is scary (but I don't even know why it is relevant to point that), Slow building romance (very slow)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 19:17:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 72,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5509928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisakillDatMonkey/pseuds/MisakillDatMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Misaki is 6, the first year, when Saruhiko, the Bogeyman, comes and meets him. He has to scare the kid to death. Supposing Misaki won't blind him with a flashlight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 6 yo - The first encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The hell!”
> 
> Well… It wasn’t supposed to begin like that. The usual music didn’t include Saruhiko swearing, a hand with black painted nails covering his eyes, as he stumbled backward.
> 
> Everything has started in the right! He had already scared a lot of poor kids this night and was going with the flow. When he had crawled under that nth bed and came out of this one, ready to roar, his hands twisted claw-like style, he was very confident about this. He was!
> 
> But then flashlight! Fucking stupid flashlight!

Standing up before the big mirror, Saruhiko was arranging his big bow tie. It suited him, that bat shaped bow, on this stripped black and white suit. That and the stiches along his cheeks, printed into the skin to give him a wicked terrifying smile. The glasses didn’t soften his looks. It could have, but no. His blue icy eyes would have been enough anyway. They were the most stunning thing into the sharp, deadly beautiful features. Like two precious but dangerous stones. And the more he scared children, the more they gleamed in the dark.

Because it was his job, to scare kids. Because Saruhiko was the Bogeyman.

During the most difficult times, like Christmas or Easter, when kids were hard to scare, his eyes didn’t shone that much. Sometimes, they were almost dark enough to look charcoal black. Then, he had to leave Tokyo, the city he was assigned to, and scare kids somewhere else, hunting for their screams and the shadow, hunting for their sorrow. It was the only thing that kept him alive. A good thing, since it was also the thing he liked the most in that strange ‘life’.

But what he really preferred during the year was _that_ night. Halloween night. It was the night he scored the max. Of course, he had to hunt for children every night of the year or at least different nights a week, but this very night, the world belonged to him.

He turned over and faced his four-poster king sized bed. Black sheets and cushions, neat like always. The room itself was all dark shades of midnight blue, grey and black with touches of white here and there. Saruhiko liked it the way it was. This place was hidden, a whole mansion floating in that magical dimension. The head quarters of terror.

This night was going to be fun. Walking toward the bed, he moved his lanky body with an unsuspected grace and eventually, crawled under the bed with a predatory smile on his face. So much fun…

x

“The hell!”

Well… It wasn’t supposed to begin like that. The usual music didn’t include Saruhiko swearing, a hand with black painted nails covering his eyes, as he stumbled backward.

Everything had started in the right! He had already scared a lot of poor kids this night and was going with the flow. When he had crawled under that _nth_ bed and came out of this one, ready to roar, his hands twisted claw-like style, he was very confident about this. He was!

But then _flashlight_! Fucking stupid flashlight! Right in his eyes! The boy had screamed, yes, but it was more a surprised gasp than a real shriek of terror and when he had really _seen_ Saruhiko, he had held the light directed right into his blue delicate and sensible eyes. That’s the reason why Saruhiko swore like that… Goddammit!

“DROP IT!” He added when he tried to uncover his eyes and got more light into it.

Like you were told earlier: the more he scared kids, the more his eyes were piercing. The only flaw (at the moment, because it was the best of things the rest of the time) was that his sight also increased a lot. It made his eyes all the more perceptive to the light, to allow him to crawl into darker and darker places every time. And with the night reaching its climax, now, his eyes couldn’t bare so much light.

“Sorry! No but! BUT NO I’M NOT! Really! I mean… DON’T EAT ME PLEASE!?” Whined a little, adorable voice and it was clearly muffled.

Did the boy hide under his blanket? Saruhiko didn’t give two shits about that. He was blinded and it was all he knew at the moment.

“Drop the stupid flashlight or I eat you for good I swear!” He growled with his most threatening voice.

But of course it wouldn’t work now he had stumbled in the fucking dark! If this ever happened to be spread amongst other Bogeymen, for sure he would be the butt of everyone’s joke.

“Mom told me not to swear! I mean… SORRY!” The kid was clearly frightened but also seemed to fight against it a lot.

“Who _are_ you!” Saruhiko asked in disbelief, uncovering his eyes, and finding the light was off, now.

He still saw better than in broad daylight. A little brownish-red head poked from under the blanket, flashlight clutched into his trembling little fist.

“I’m six years old Yata,” the proud little boy said with wide eyes full of fear.

“Yata, eh?” Saruhiko repeated. And what was he thinking? He wasn’t supposed to _talk_ with the kids. “You can’t be called just Yata. If I look on my list, I’ll find a name, yes?”

“Don’t!” Misaki yelled and then “Please!” he added, terrified.

“Oh!” Saruhiko made, hands on his hips, bending over the boy who made a “Uwaa! No please, please!” before withdrawing under the blanket. “And why is that?” The Bogeyman asked with a pleased smile.

The fear floating around the room was thick. And yet, the little voice coming from under the covers was valiant. “Because my name is not very scary.”

“You tell me! Uh!”

“It’s a girl’s name,” the voice added, still high-pitched.

“If you tell me your name, I swear I won’t—“ Saruhiko took a look around the room, the bed and… “I won’t eat that foot I see poking from under the blanket.”

“Uwaaa!” The kid screamed again and he could see the shape moving from under the material, rolling on itself, probably to hide said tiny socked foot. “The name is Misaki!” He claimed so fast Saruhiko almost missed it.

“Misaki, uh? Well, delighted to meet you, Misaki~! Be prepared, for next year when I come back, you better hide!”

Saruhiko burst into a manic laughter and tugged on the blanket, uncovering totally the little guy who yelled and almost jumped out of the bed. “I’m not scared of you! You giant bad clown!”

“Giant bad clown?” Saruhiko repeated, mouth gaping. What the hell, for real!

“Yes! And I’m not scared of youu~! Or just a little but…”

“Boo!” Saruhiko interrupted the cute little babbling.

“Haaa! Nooooo!” Misaki screamed and made a shield out of the nearest cushion.

“Fantastic!” Saruhiko mocked and heard the usual footsteps coming from outside of the room. “My cue to leave! See ya, Misaki~!”

And with that, he just disappeared back under the bed with a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo guys!  
> It's happening, I'm turning this into a multi-chapter fics.  
> You've all been soooooo cute and everything! So here!  
> Like I said to some of you, this will be kind of a The Nightmare Before Christmas!AU (for Saru mostly) and Rise of the Guardians!AU. We'll witness Misaki growing as Saruhiko keep visiting him.  
> Yes, it will be a true pairing at some point but with a very slow building, ok? Bare with me :)  
> I hope you'll enjoy that little adventure and thank you for your reviews, they really help!  
> Also, if you want to submit some ideas, scenes you'd like to see, just tell me here or on my tumblr kptainofthecheap.tumblr.com and maybe I'll add them? *-*  
> See youu!
> 
> Very important: You can thank (or blame, HOW SHOULD I KNOW) thisloveisradiant. We thought about Christmas AU and then I imagined Saruhiko as the Bogeyman because, yes, it's xMas time already but I love Halloween way too much! And this thing happened haha


	2. 8 yo - Give me your best Roar

Saruhiko looked at the list. “Tsk! Don’t tell me…” he drawled. But he had read right. Of course. Every year, on Halloween night, he had to visit many children’s beds. And don’t get it wrong. His job was to crawl out from under said bed, scare the kid to death, laugh at him (it wasn’t required but Saruhiko couldn’t help it), and disappear before the screams alerted the parents. It was fun. It wasn’t tedious, he liked this routine.

Just… And it had been three years now - his little routine had somehow changed. It had changed the night he had to scare to death Misaki Yata, a little boy living in Shizume City.

What kind of kid waits all night long with big wide amber eyes for the Bogeyman to come? None. Saruhiko knew not a single one. Except for Misaki. It was a little (very little even for his age) 8 years old boy. An adorable brownish-red head, with big beautiful amber eyes and a bright determined smile. A pain in the ass, if you want Saruhiko’s opinion.

He believed in monsters, faeries, Santa and, of course, the Bogeyman. Except he didn’t just believed in him. He _worshipped_ him. How annoying!

The first night, Saruhiko was blinded by Misaki’s stupid flashlight. He had wasted so much time he didn’t get to scare half the children he wanted to, this night.

The second night, Misaki had tried to persuade him to come other nights than Halloween. Saruhiko had argued against it. No way. Why should he? There was no point in visiting a child if he was asking for it. If he wasn’t _afraid_. And… well… Misaki was always afraid. He fought against it, thought, and it was somehow cute, but it wasn’t productive for Saruhiko.

Still, he crawled under the bed of the screaming kid he had just scared and closed his eyes, thinking hard about his next destination. Shizume City, Misaki Yata’s room. When he crawled out of the bed, at the other edge, the room he recognized was different from the one before.

“Light off!” He hissed dangerously and low when he saw the patch of light dancing on the opposite wall.

A whimper answered and he moved, unfolding long and slender arms and legs. The next second, he was standing beside the bed- his black and white suit remained magically untouched by the dust – and he looked at the kid.

Kneeling on the blankets, clutching the flashlight between trembling fingers, the small, small boy looked at him with eyes as wide as saucers. Saruhiko put his bow back in place along with his glasses and decided to put a show on. After all, he wasn’t there for nothing.

Clearing his throat, he spread out his arms and bent over the bed, his fingers looking like claws, his smile wide and terrifying. That was enough to scare kids, mothers and basically everyone. Except cats. Cats were never afraid of him. Then, he opened his mouth, ready to hiss or something and…

“Nuuh-ah! Saruhiko no!” The boy protested, clearly scared, and the next second, Saruhiko was dazzled by the bright light directed right into his eyes.

“Fuck!” He swore, glaring at the boy between his fingers once he was able to see again.

“Mom said _fuck_ was a bad word,” Misaki told, like an obedient child he wasn’t.

“Then don’t repeat it, idiot,” Saruhiko hissed.

“You’re smaller than last year, Saru!” Misaki commented, even though he wasn’t more confident.

“Tsk! It’s because you’re taller, Misaki. Though not that tall, really…” he drawled, eventually sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Don’t call me like that!” Misaki immediately responded. He was frowning, and brandishing the flashlight between them as if to protect himself. Silly boy. Saruhiko just bared his teeth and made them chatter. Misaki withdrew against the headboard. He was brave but it still was the Bogeyman, after all.

Saruhiko had never called any kid by their name. It wasn’t proper. One does not call the kid he is about to scare with pet names. But then again, Misaki was different and when they had started to argue, and Saruhiko had found out the boy hated being called by that name, of course he wouldn’t drop it. Now, it was part of the act. Of course, he had to reveal his own name (the kid had been so annoying about it, he had no real choice in the end).

“I will call you as I please, Misaki~,” sing-sung the tallest one.

In appearance, he looked merely twenty. And the striped suit, which made him look lankier, didn’t help. Dark midnight blue hair falling across his piercing icy eyes… Slender fingers with black painted nails…

“No! Or else I will scare you bad!” Misaki threatened, shaking like a leaf.

Saruhiko couldn’t help but snort – it hid a laugh. “And what are you going to do? Whining at me?”

“I can roar!” The boy answered, flexing his chest. It was the cutest thing. Now he was turning red, trying to focus to “ _roar_ ” like a pro and failed miserably. Saruhiko held back another laugh.

“No, I can’t roar…” Misaki uttered, miserably.

Then, his face lit up almost on the spot. It seemed like he just had the best idea ever. “Neee! Saru! Could you please teach me? Like you do it! You know when you show up! You roooar~!”

With his wild bed hair, the red head, getting all excited, looked more like a cub than a lion. And he was more mewling than roaring like a predator. Saruhiko didn’t know why, he would probably figure it out later, but instead of leaving, he just made himself more comfortable on the bed and turned to face the young boy fully.

“Ok, then. I’ll teach you. Show me your best roar.” He looked all superior but Misaki didn’t hesitate too long.

After a glance toward the door, he focused back on the Bogeyman and braced himself. Dropping the flashlight between them, he gave it a try: “rrr-rooooar~” and hunched after that, waiting patiently.

It was definitely the stupidest thing and the cutest Saruhiko had ever witnessed. He didn’t show it at all. “That’s lame, Misaki! You didn’t even scare your teddy bear! Listen…” Straightening his back, he just snapped his fingers to put a spell on the door. He used it sometimes, with very naughty children he needed to give good nightmares before alerting the parents. Then, he just “ROAR!”

The sound echoed around the room and Misaki grabbed back his flashlight. It _was_ scary and you couldn’t tell it came from that young man in a suit if you hadn’t _seen_ it. “Try again.”

“Ok…” Misaki breathed in and “roooar~?”

“Nah! _Roaaar_!! Like that! Do it again!”

“Roooar~!” The boy mewled again, his face painted in a serious grimace – probably his best imitation of the Fear itself.

“ROOOARRR!” Saruhiko gave him a good one, this time, claw-like hands and sparkling eyes.

The reaction was instantaneous. Misaki made a terrified “Uwaaaa!” dropped the flashlight and tossed the blanket above his head, hiding just for a second. When he uncovered his eyes, he looked at the Bogeyman in awe. Scared, but in awe. “Sorry! Stop Saru! You’re scaring me!” He protested with an admiring look.

Saruhiko raised an eyebrow. “But that’s the point..?”

“I know, I know… It’s just I know how to do it, now. You don’t have to roar again. Please!” He tried to act all brave but it was clear he was still afraid.

“Okay, okay,” Saruhiko agreed and bent to ruffle the red hair. Misaki hunched again, then, surprisingly, leant into the _caress_ happily.

“Neee, Saruhiko! Can you come back tomorrow?” He asked once they separated.

Saruhiko had a hard time to stay dead serious. “No. I can’t.”

“Please,” Misaki asked again, his eyes as wide as saucers, suddenly full of tears. “It was too long since the last time! I feel like I haven’t seen you in a year!”

“It _had_ _been_ a year, Misaki~,” the young man commented, matter-of-factly.

“But it’s too long! I want to see Saruhiko more so I can learn to rooooooooar…” This time, the red head yawned the roar and Saruhiko pushed him back against the pillows. The boy fell backward, knocked out and pouting, with a “Uuuphd! Saru!” and the Bogeyman threw the blanket over his little head.

“Go to bed, Misaki! I’m seeing you next year. And try to grow up some more, this time!” Saruhiko drawled but he felt hollow when he slipped off the bed.

“I hope this year lasts only a month,” the eight years-old said sleepily. “Because Saruhiko is amazing and I want to see him more.”

“Years can’t last a month, idiot,” Saruhiko answered, standing near the headboard.

He wasn’t hollow, this time, though. He felt warm. Warmer than he had in a long time.

“Keep believing in me, Misaki~,” he added in almost a whisper as he ducked, ready to disappear again.

The light, steady breath of the child answered him and Saruhiko vanished with a rueful smile.


	3. 10 yo - Halloween night fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have a fever, eh?” He repeated quietly.
> 
> The little boy nodded frantically then squeezed his eyes shut, already regretting his choice.
> 
> “Are you stupid?” Saruhiko then asked, in total disbelief. And when Misaki opened his big beautiful eyes again, startled, Saruhiko made a “Tsk! Of course you are. Playing all day long in the stupid snow, it’s so typical of stupid Misaki! And now you’re sick as a puppy.”
> 
> Misaki frowned again, he seemed to be in intense reflection. “They say sick as a dog.”
> 
> “But you’re just a puppy,” Saruhiko growled and hunched. “A puppy without a brain cell.”

The clock on the bedside table indicated ten past three. There was no way Misaki would still be awake at this point. Saruhiko sighed, feeling oddly annoyed but it was probably because he had stepped on a fucking LEGO. He wore slim leather boots with his usual suit, so he had crushed it of course, but it was still annoying. He did step on it because he was too busy thinking about Misaki and the time running short, after all and… Dammit brain! Stop thinking about a ten years old child!

Saruhiko turned over and faced the little girl cornered against the wall, her blanket for only shield and he “ROAR”-ed so loud he might have woken up the whole neighborhood. Good! He was pissed off at this point. His eyes gleamed dangerously as she screamed the most piercing and high-pitched shriek of the night. Good, very good!

The next second, he was crawling under the bed, all moody and pouty. Never ever had been a Bogeyman _pouty_ or _moody_. But when it came to Misaki, Saruhiko just didn’t act like himself.

The year before, Saruhiko met the kid again. Nine years old and not an inch gained over the year. He hadn’t blind him with his flashlight this time and they had spent a whole hour together. A first. Misaki was still scared of him but acted all brave and wanted Saruhiko to tell him about the other kids. How did they react when he showed up? Were they all terrified? Did they scream? Misaki didn’t scream anymore. Not much, at least. Ok, he did a couple of times but Saruhiko enjoyed it and he suspected Misaki enjoyed it as well. That kid was definitely different. He had fun with him. If he was honest, he would even say he was fond of him but it was like blasphemy for a Bogeyman so… He wouldn’t admit it.

And Misaki couldn’t stop from saying how amazing Saruhiko was. That he was so cool. And what the hell was wrong with that kid, thinking “ _Saru is so cool_ ” because he scared children to death. He wanted to know about all kind of screams, shrieks and shouts. Was amazed when Saruhiko explained how he got into their rooms and didn’t quite understand when he tried to explain why he _needed_ to scare children to be alive but found it “ _very complicated. So complicated Saruhiko must be very smart to understand it!_ ”.

Not that much, to be honest. It was magical matters but it was very logical. Saruhiko needed the children’s fear to feed on, otherwise his power weakened until the point he could be too weak to move and if it was too critical, he could disappear. It was also very important that children _believed_ in him because from the moment they started to forget about him, they no longer saw him. Misaki had understand that very clearly. The job of a Guardian.

He had kneeled on the covers, looking all fiery and worked up and had said: “ _I will never ever forget about Saruhiko! I will always believe in you so I can see you forever!_ ” Saruhiko had no heart beating in his chest. Yet, he had felt like it had skipped a beat. He had chuckled nervously, pretending to laugh at the little boy.

Of course, tonight, he wouldn’t get anything like that. Misaki would sleep, and probably be very sad in the morning because he had missed Saruhiko and— _Stop_! There was no point in that. He had to check on him, anyway. And give him a good nightmare to make a point.

He crawled from under the bed and immediately felt that something was wrong. No patch of bright light on the opposite wall. No tiny sounds coming from the blanket because of a child fidgeting with impatience. But no peaceful, quiet breathing either.

The room felt cold, wrong. But it was not empty. Deploying his long and thin body gracefully but as fast as a lightning bolt, Saruhiko took a look at the bed.

Misaki was laying on it. Buried under a tone of blankets, his tiny cute head poking from under the pile and Saruhiko could see him like in broad daylight. His face was all flushed, his brownish-red bangs plastered with sweat on his forehead and he was shaking like a leaf. But not because of the fear. The room did felt icy but Misaki just seemed to burn. The heat coming from his little body was searing. A bowl of soup sat on the bedside table but remained untouched.

“Misaki?” he heard himself breath out in a whisper so low it was impossible for the little boy to hear him.

Yet, both eyelids trembled and then the boy blinked a couple of times and cracked his eyes open for good. It was a weak attempt, though. Saruhiko could tell that simple gesture costed him a lot. And yet, when the amber globes focused on him, he saw the light returning into them. “Saru—Saruhiko?” The voice was weak too, a tiny sound, full of hope. “You came?”

Saruhiko couldn’t answer. He was paralyzed. Misaki was in pain, a lot of pain it seemed, but he managed to smile widely when he realized he wasn’t dreaming. “I thought you wouldn’t,” the little boy added. And it was too much, Saruhiko’s not-a-heart-but-still-a-heart broke into pieces.

“Misaki what the fuck is wrong?” The Bogeyman asked, eyes wide and full of concern.

“Mom said…” the young boy began. “Oh come on! There’s no time for that!” Saru growled, menacingly. He bent over the shivering body and the boy hunched on himself, tugging the covers over his face. Saruhiko cringed and cursed himself silently. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “So… What is it?” He asked again.

Misaki uncovered his flushed face and rubbed an eye sleepily. “I got sick because I played outside all day and it’s already snowing but I was having fun and then it was cold but it was so cool because Yata team came and we would play all day with snow balls and then the doctor said I had a fever and Yata team left and I was in my bed and waited for Saru but it’s hard to keep my eyes open.” Misaki little babbling was driven by said fever, obviously. He jabbered, stammered on words, had a hard time to breath and everything just went too fast. “Oi, calm down, calm down!” Saruhiko intimated him with a frown.

“You have a fever, eh?” He repeated quietly.

The little boy nodded frantically then squeezed his eyes shut, already regretting his choice.

“Are you stupid?” Saruhiko then asked, in total disbelief. And when Misaki opened his big beautiful eyes again, startled, Saruhiko made a “Tsk! Of course you are. Playing all day long in the stupid snow, it’s so typical of stupid Misaki! And now you’re sick as a puppy.”

Misaki frowned again, he seemed to be in intense reflection. “They say _sick as a dog_.”

“But you’re just a puppy,” Saruhiko growled and hunched. “A puppy without a brain cell.”

Surprisingly enough, a strange noise escaped Misaki and lasted… His body trembled even more. Soon, Saruhiko realized the boy was giggling. “Tsk!” He rolled his eyes, but the sideway smile on his lips was fond.

“I’m cold,” the kid whined suddenly. The giggle stopped but the shudder remained.

“Yes,” Saruhiko replied.

“But—I’m cold, Saru,” Misaki whined again. And he looked odd, Saruhiko thought. Odder than usual. Like… Like he was expecting something from him. “I’m very cold!”

“Yes, I get that,” the Bogeyman blinked. “You’re also a midget but, really… there’s nothing I can do about that, Misaki~.”

Misaki groaned and it was so cute and tiny and precious Saruhiko was sick himself.

“It’s _Yata_! I told you! Rrrrr!” Misaki wriggled and groaned again and Saruhiko burst into laughter.

“Oh my god! What was that? Did you just groaned at me?!” He felt the tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. Nuh-uh. No way. His smile widened, the stitches ready to crack along his cheeks and Misaki whimpered, visibly scared.

“Sorry. Uh, wow. That was fun. Ok, let’s do it again.” Misaki’s face twisted in a cute pout as he shivered harder.

Ok, maybe getting him all worked up when he had a fever wasn’t the best idea Saruhiko ever had. But he was a Bogeyman. Not a nurse.

“Just tell me where the blankets are,” he sighed, feeling a bit guilty.

“Here,” the kid said, pointing at… himself.

“What do you mean? Wait—they’re all here? On you?” Saruhiko asked in disbelief, and he tugged on the pile of one, two, three… five blankets. “Oh my god, but you have a fever, you’re going to roast under these!” His eyes widened, concerned again. The Bogeyman sat at the edge of the bed.

“But I’m so cold,” the kid pouted.

“I know, I know. Eh…” Saruhiko was interrupted by a coughing fit. And a nasty one. Misaki almost choked and then whimpered and sank back against his pillow.

Ok, this wasn’t funny at all. His blue eyes scrutinized the whole room, searching for a solution, but he found none. Until his gaze fell on the bedside table again. The bowl of soup. It was cold, though. But maybe he could reach the kitchen and use the microwave or something and… Seriously? The Bogeyman, using a microwave to heat up a fucking soup? What?

“What?” Saruhiko spat, struck by his own wild thought.

“Saru,” Misaki called from the pile of blankets and Saruhiko leant backward.

“I _know_ Misaki, I’m thinking, just let me…”

“No,” the little boy interrupted him weakly. His hand moved from under the blanket nonetheless and gripped Saruhiko’s sleeve. He never touched him and it startled the older one enough to shut up and listen.

The boy was afraid to ask, he could tell, but he gathered his courage and tugged on the sleeve once more.

“Can I have a—a hug?”

“A _what_ now?” It was Saruhiko’s turn to choke. He was lucky he was cultivated enough to know this word from books because errr… How can we put it?

“I never had one of these,” Saruhiko put it very simply. Dumbstruck.

Misaki’s eyebrows raised so high they disappeared under his bangs. “One of what?”

“A hug,” Saruhiko admitted.

He couldn’t remember from his past life, before he became a Guardian. But he was pretty sure he never hugged anyone. And cuddling was like the antimatter to what sustained him in his afterlife.

“How is it possible you never had a hug?” Misaki’s eyes gleamed because of the fever but he looked very concerned now. Supporting himself against the headboard, he sat and crossed his arms. “Why.”

“Why?” Saruhiko repeated, bemused.

“Why did you never have…”

“A hug?” Well… “What do you think I do for a living again?” The _Bogeyman_ drawled.

Misaki waved his hand in the air. “I know! I’m stupid but not that stupid! But when you go home. Who’s there to hug you? Why don’t you hug them?” The boy looked very displeased. Saruhiko couldn’t believe what was happening.

“But there’s no... What nonsense do you—your fever got worse, just lay down!” He ordered the boy.

“No! Who are they! I’m going to punch them if they don’t give you the hug!” Misaki was all worked-up again and Saruhiko worried about his state.

“Please, Misaki, lay down now. You can’t stay out of the covers,” he urged him.

“You can’t stay without a hug!” The boy protested.

“I’m the fucking Bogeyman, Misaki!” He replied in annoyance.

“I don’t care!” Misaki bit back. And the fact he didn’t raise the swearword showed just how seriously he treated the matter.

That argument was just pointless and stupid and Saruhiko didn’t know why he was so annoyed by all this but he had no time to quarrel further. The air left his lungs anyway because suddenly something was launched at him and bumped against him almost violently.

“What the—“ Saruhiko looked down, still sitting at the edge of the bed, and found the tiny boy hugging him tightly. “You’re squeezing me,” he stated, almost for himself and totally startled.

“I know,” Misaki whispered, his voice high-pitched. His eyes were closed tight, his frail arms hugging the tall but skinny body. “I panicked, sorry,” he added, adorably, but still didn’t let go.

“You panicked.”

That night definitely reached its peak of nonsense, surprise and… Gross fluffiness. Yet Saruhiko did not wanted Misaki to let go either. If he had a heart, for sure, it would be beating wild, by now. “Sorry,” Misaki croaked again.

“It’s ok.” It was, wasn’t it? “It’s ok, Misaki.”

With that, he gently pushed away the little boy and forced him to lay down for good. He tugged on the blankets, covering the shivering body and bent over him. “Now you need to sleep, ok?”

Misaki nodded weakly. He was even more flushed than before. “Good,” Saruhiko whispered. “I’ll stay ‘till you do.”

“Thank you, Saru,” Misaki whispered, relieved. “You’re amazing.”

“Nah. Not that much.”

“Come back soon,” the boy plead, sleepily.

“Next year, I swear,” Saruhiko promised again and he gently ruffled the boy’s hair.

Stupid not-a-heart-but-still-a-heart. It hurt, that feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again :)  
> Are your teeth rotten enough by now? Should I spice this up with a bit of angst? Hahaha just kidding. Maybe. I mean--  
> Ok! Anyway I need to thank you all! Your reviews give me life! Really, keep sending ideas, submit them and maybe I'll add some of them because you guys have wonderful prompts haha!  
> I already have the plot settled for the whole story but I can add some scenes :) The idea of Misaki getting sick was from Thisloveisradiant, again. Thank you for that! *-*  
> See you all very soon, I hope!


	4. 11 yo - L'arroseur arrosé

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really, Saruhiko didn’t understand why Reisi Munakata, the head of the Bogeymen, Mister Bogeyman, or Black Peter or whatever, kept on choosing young handsome men to work under his orders. They were supposed to be scary. And they were in a sense, but it was fortunate teenage girls didn’t believe in the bogeyman anymore or they would have had wet dreams instead of nightmares if they saw them. Anyway…

“Fushimi-san, are you visiting Shizume City tonight?”

Saruhiko quirked an eyebrow and turned on his heels, expecting to face the ever-nosy Hidaka. He wasn’t disappointed, since he almost bumped into the impudent who jumped a kilometer away, _more or less_.

Akira Hidaka, one of the seven other Bogeymen working on this part of Japan wore his usual outfit. A perfect blend of tissues and straw that made him look like a scarecrow. Like Saruhiko, he had stiches along his cheeks, giving him what was supposed to be a terrifying smile. But…

Really, Saruhiko didn’t understand why Reisi Munakata, the head of the Bogeymen, _Mister_ Bogeyman, or Black Peter or whatever, kept on choosing young handsome men to work under his orders. They were supposed to be scary. And _they were_ in a sense, but it was fortunate teenage girls didn’t believe in the bogeyman anymore or they would have had wet dreams instead of nightmares if they saw them. Anyway…

“What’s with the dumb question? Of course I am. It’s my assigned area.”

“I know, I know, sorry,” Hidaka apologized immediately, looking not sorry in the slightest. “It’s just that… It appears a— another had… you know, someone just a few minutes ago, he—he d—“

“Someone is dead. So, what?” Saruhiko asked impatiently. He had come all the way to the headquarters, a vast fanciful mansion, to hand his report to Munakata; not to hear futilities. “People die every day, Hidaka.”

“No but this one—this one, Munakata wants him. He was barely nineteen.”

“Oh,” Saruhiko made, bemused, now. His eyes narrowed, scrutinizing Hidaka unmercifully. That explained why… “When will the ceremony start?” He asked, quietly.

“In the morning. Once we all come back from the Halloween night.”

“Alright. I’ll be there,” Saruhiko nodded and he readjusted his glasses.

Then, he turned again and resumed walking, his footsteps barely resounding on the marble floor.  

“The name is Domyoji. Andy!” Hidaka called after him.

“Who cares,” he replied and vanished into a room on his right.

He closed the door behind him and sighed heavily. Another one, eh? It hadn’t been that long since the last one. And Saruhiko recalled it perfectly since it had been _him_. And, indeed, people died on a daily basis but it was rare that one of them would be chosen to be a Guardian. “Must be really pretty if Munakata chose you,” Saruhiko muttered for himself and he paced toward the bed. “That or your story was pretty awful.”

But it was not the time to be bitter or leave space for any sorrow. Actually, Saruhiko was almost overwhelmed with joy.

Yea…who would have known, right? But he was, for sure! It was Halloween night and he was about to meet Misaki for the sixth time and he really looked forward to it. Last time, Misaki was hardly himself, half delirious because of the fever and had fell asleep so soon. Too soon.

This time, he planned to show really early. It was stupid, he knew it. Soon this kid’s memories of ghosts and elves and fairies would vanish along with Santa and the Bogeyman. Along with Saruhiko. He tried not to think about it, because it shouldn’t even bother him, but he knew kids barely believed in Guardians after their twelve or thirteenth birthday. Fortunately, he knew he had at least one or twice more times to give the kid a good scare. He almost regretted that Misaki wasn’t a troublesome and reckless kid since troublesome and reckless kids were his targets during the rest of the year. The bigger they screwed-up, the nastier Saruhiko was supposed to be.

No, it wasn’t stupid, in the end. It was _absurd_. What was he thinking? Maybe he should ask Munakata to be relocated somewhere else after all. But not tonight.

x

“ROAAAAAR~” Saruhiko could be proud. The little boy was pissing himself, no more no less. He resisted the urge to burst into one of his manic laughers. He had no time for that, he already heard the parent’s footsteps in the corridor.

His eyes shone brightly in the dark, two sparkling sapphires illuminating the dark room. He barely had enough time to crawl under the bed when the panicky mother opened the door.

And he couldn’t hold back that laugher any longer. That’s why when he crawled out of under Misaki’s bed, he was cackling like a mad man. Relieved to see that Misaki’s flashlight was on, he immediately cast a spell to mute any sound and got back on his feet. He couldn’t wait to tell the young boy what had just happened. That’s why – wiping a tear of the corner of his eye – he immediately went for the headboard of the bed.

Misaki was there, sitting quietly, playing on a handled console. _That_ was the source of light Saruhiko had mistaken for the usual flashlight.

He ceased to laugh on the spot, frowning instead.

“Oi, brat! I thought you always listened to your mother. Didn’t she teach you to say hello, at least?” The Bogeyman groaned.

Misaki raised his little head and looked at him. He squinted and Saruhiko frowned even more. Then it hit him like a wave of icy air. It was obvious, Saruhiko knew this look very well. Misaki didn’t look _at_ him. He looked _past_ him. Saruhiko did a double-table, turned around, saw the door, then turned again and realized Misaki was gazing at the fucking door behind him.

His blood ran cold.

“Oi! Misaki!” He snapped, taking a step closer.

This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t. That boy, he was only eleven years old! There was no way he could have… already…

“Misaki!” Saruhiko called again, his throat completely dry. His knees collided with the edge of the bed before he knew it.

Small, so small Misaki had renewed his interest for his stupid game.

“Come on—no,” Saruhiko whispered, angrily.

It wasn’t happening in hell, no way! Not now! Not yet!

Tentatively, and he hated to see his fingers trembling – _how even!_ – he snapped them in front of the little boy’s face but nothing happened. Misaki seemed to have won something in the stupid game because a triumphant music suddenly burst from the console and the boy quickly hid it under the covers to muffle the sound, looking at the door, _again_. His gaze – terrified - met Saruhiko’s abdomen. Or it should have if he could see him? The thing was… He was terrified his mother could hear him. Not terrified because of a dark spirit.

Saruhiko dropped on his knees instantaneously. Misaki turned away, retrieving the console, folding his legs under him.

The Guardian could feel the fear everywhere in the room. But it wasn’t Misaki’s. It was… It was _his_. It crept viciously all around him, crawling under his skin. He didn’t know what was happening to him but for sure it was horrifying.

“Mi—Misaki! Keep your eyes on me!” He snapped again, aware he sounded desperate and hating himself for it.

He felt uneasy. No, worse. Weak. He felt weaker than ever. “Please! Mi—Misaki!”

Both his hands jerked forward but stopped millimeters away from the young boy. He brought them back to his face, covering his eyes and saw nothing else than darkness. The sparkling sapphires didn’t shine anymore. The light, his light, was off.

What the hell! It was just a stupid kid like any other else! Like thousands and thousands others. Why did it feel like the so-called heart in his chest was cut to pieces, reduced to ashes. Misaki wasn’t exceptional. He wasn’t—he wasn’t… Who did he think he was fooling, here?

Of course Misaki was special. He couldn’t explain it but the Guardian felt it. He had been drawn to him. He felt it, whenever he came, that this little boy had something more than the others. Maybe it was something magical, Saruhiko could have sworn it was. But not anymore. Not if Misaki wasn’t able to see him anymore.

“No… Fuck that!” He miserably swore, his hands flying away and gripping the bedsheets hard.

And, then, he caught it. It was hard to see clearly in the dark now his eyes didn’t shine anymore but enough light issued from Misaki’s console. His hands, Misaki’s hand. When he had sworn, they had clenched slightly on the stupid console.

Saruhiko’s gaze drifted next to Misaki, looking closer at the blankets. When the little boy had retrieved the game, something else had poked from under the covers. A cuddly toy. Misaki didn’t own any cuddly toy in Saruhiko’s memories.

It was fortunate that his heart wasn’t beating anymore, or else it would have explode on the spot. Saruhiko felt a lump forming in his throat as he peeked again at Misaki. The latter was playing again. He looked oddly stiff, though and Saruhiko felt his face heating up.

He frowned again. His guts were still twisted by the fear but he could smell something else, now.

No way. Oh, _no_. He didn’t.

Rising suddenly, Saruhiko yanked abruptly the blankets away. Misaki yelped exactly when Saruhiko’s gaze fell upon a plush monkey.

“I—“ The bogeyman managed to say, out of breath, his eyes shifting again, glaring at Misaki murderously. “I’m—I’m going… I’m going to _kill_ you.” His tone was low, dangerous, and yet it sounded like he couldn’t even believe what was happening.

The handled console fell on the cover and the boy whimpered, opening big wide amber eyes. And, _this time_ , he was looking straight at Saruhiko. Not _past_ him. He tried to smile sheepishly but he was obviously taken aback by the trembling, fulminating man above him and his murderous glare. Saruhiko could feel his eyesight sharpening more and more as Misaki curled on himself from the fear.

The boy tried to smile again and something snapped into Saruhiko’s mind. The next second, he swooped on the little body, who shrieked in return. But instead of grabbing him, his hands caught the plush monkey hard, his knuckles whitening and he stayed like that, hovering menacingly above the chestnut head. The Bogeyman felt his eyelid twitching nervously as he tried to get a grip on himself.

“What. The fuck. Was that, Misaki~,” he asked when he could trust his voice to speak again without trembling ridiculously. “And don’t you _dare_ fucking say anything about that _fuck_ , because otherwise I’ll fucking burn your bedroom down.”

“I—I—it was just a joke, Saru,” Misaki replied stammering, his voice high-pitched. He laid flat on the bed, as if he was trying to sink into the mattress to escape Saruhiko. He tried to reach for the covers to hide himself but Saruhiko yanked them further, leaving the little boy in pajamas exposed to his wrath. “I—I wanted to scare you. Remember, once I—I said I would never be able to scare you but… I really… I really thought hard about it—“

“Must have been painful for you,” Saruhiko couldn’t help but spit venomously.

Misaki hunched even more. He seemed to start to realize how much he had actually messed up.

Saruhiko could see it. Feel it. Something else was floating in the air. The _guilt_. He knew that feeling very well since it was one of his favorite to feed on. Yet, he didn’t feel nowhere near better. He wasn’t feeling weak anymore, but he wasn’t satisfied either. That terror, it had drained him of everything…

“I’m sorry! It was just a joke…” Misaki tried again.

Saruhiko looked at him again and discovered a sad, very sad puppy. He sighed heavily. So heavily a shudder ran through his whole lanky body.

“I didn’t mean to scare you _that_ much,” the kid argued further.

“Oi! Don’t brag too much about it, brat,” Saruhiko eventually groaned, shaking his head.

Then, he dropped with all his weight on the edge of the bed, clutching the plush into his hands, right onto his lap. He still couldn’t believe what had just happened. He looked sternly at the cuddly toy when he felt Misaki shifting tentatively behind him. Once the boy was sure he could breath again without being strangled to death, he approached Saruhiko. The Bogeyman could feel his presence near him.

Misaki peeked above the young man’s shoulder and he heard him say “My eeerr… My mom said she heard me talking into my sleep a couple of times now. And I kept talking about… About a _Saru_ , she said. So they offered this to me as a present for my last birthday,” Misaki explained, clearly embarrassed but also determined.

Saruhiko couldn’t hide his surprise and turned slightly but unexpectedly toward the kid. Kneeling beside him, Misaki seemed to hesitate to touch him but his little hand hung in the air just above the Bogeyman’s shoulder. “Uuuwa~” the boy yelped, tumbling backward anyway.

A tired smile stretched the Guardian’s face.

“You’re an idiot,” he said, looking at the boy. Fondly. What a big sap he made. “But seriously,” he added, dead serious this time – because damn, he was the Bogeyman! “Don’t ever do that again or I swear I will kill you with my own hands.”

Misaki gasped but held his gaze. After a few seconds, he nodded frantically. “I’m so sorry!”

“Enough.” Saruhiko waved a hand in the air and dropped the plush monkey on the bed, raising in the meantime.

“Wait! Where are you going? Can’t you stay?” Misaki asked immediately, kneeling again to reach and grab Saruhiko’s sleeve. “No! I didn’t mean to…! I’m truly sorry, please stay!” He added, looking more and more scared as he realized what was happening.

Saruhiko’s lips curled in a rueful smile. “I can’t, really.” He felt exhausted. “That little game of yours? It exhausted me… Drained my energy. I’ll need to scare more than a few children tonight if I want to make it through the night,” he explained.

Alright… Maybe he was guilt-tripping the kid a little but, first, it was his job, and second, he wasn’t really joking. He _did_ needed that magic.

Go figure why Saruhiko was the one feeling guilty when Misaki’s eyes shone with tears. “No! Saru… please!”

It was too late to go back, anyway. Misaki _really was_ special, wasn’t he? Thus, the Guardian bent slightly and patted the kid on the head with a smirk. A roguish smirk. It didn’t make the tears go away but at least, they didn’t rolled on the flushed cheeks. “But guess what? You won, Misaki~. I’m definitely going to visit you more than once a year, now.”

“Eh?” Misaki almost tripped over the blankets as he tried to reach for the Bogeyman again but the latter stepped back, clearly amused, and disappeared under the bed in a blink of an eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahaha*manic laugh*haha  
> SORRY.  
> But it was required, ok? *-* Thisloveisradiant said it was "Misaki's turn to scare Saruhiko" and Sarumi wondered what would happen if Misaki couldn't see him anymore... I'm sorry it turned a bit angsty but eeh- can't be helped! Also xXSilver146Xx wanted to see other Bogeymen. I hope it suits your expectations. You'll see them again from time to time. :)  
> Thank you for all your reviews they really help, again. Feel free to submit more ideas here or on kptainofthecheap.tumblr.com !  
> See you xx


	5. 12 yo - Happy birthday, idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scaring a kid on his birthday night isn’t very nice, Fushimi-kun. That’s what Munakata had said. Saruhiko cringed. He knew very well what his boss meant. The head of the Bogeymen couldn’t possibly reproach him for scaring a child. Not even on his birthday night. Double the screams, double the price. No. Saruhiko knew it was something else. He could tell just by looking at Mister Bogeyman and his sideway smirk. Once again, Reisi Munakata seemed to know something everyone else ignored.

_Scaring a kid on his birthday night isn’t very nice, Fushimi-kun_. That’s what Munakata had said. Saruhiko cringed. He knew very well what his boss meant. The head of the Bogeymen couldn’t possibly reproach him for scaring a child. Not even on his birthday night. Double the screams, double the price. No. Saruhiko knew it was something else. He could tell just by looking at Mister Bogeyman and his sideway smirk. Once again, Reisi Munakata seemed to know something everyone else ignored.

Fortunately, for the time being, Saruhiko couldn’t care less. He had not much kids to scare on this night. The 20th of July. Actually, he had fed enough the past few days to go home or wander aimlessly. Still, he was looking at the bed, ready to crawl under it like the threatening shadow he was. He had things to do. A place to wander.

It had been nine months. Nine months since he had promised to Misaki he’d come before the Halloween night, and he had never take the chance. Now was the time. He didn’t know why he stressed so much over it. He could have come sooner, it’s not like he had too many children to scare. And maybe now he had waited too long and Misaki couldn’t see him for real any more.

It was something he truly feared and the fear kept growing as the year stretched. He couldn’t forget Misaki’s blank stare. Yet, it was easier not to come back too soon. He could try to get the kid out of his mind, but it didn’t work. It was scary. How this little ginger head had an effect on him. He had something, something powerful Saruhiko could feel in his bones. Something that made Misaki part of his world, part of this magical bubble. Yet he avoided the meeting.

But not for much longer. He couldn’t care less about Munakata’s possible innuendos. He disappeared under the bed.

 

At first, he felt the sting of disappointment in his chest when he saw no light dancing on the walls. But then, it was past eleven and Misaki was only twelve. He was probably sleeping. Maybe he didn’t expected Saruhiko to come anymore after nine months waiting for him to come back. Maybe he didn’t…

Sobbing. Saruhiko realized it as he crawled out of the darkness. He could hear muffled _sobbing_. Frowning, he suddenly worried he had mistaken; that it wasn’t Misaki’s room. But it was. Standing up in the middle on the room, near the bed, he could recognize the room even without any light on. What the—wasn’t it his _birthday_? You weren’t supposed to _sob_ on your birthday!

Holding his breath – and not knowing why – Saruhiko bent over the covers. He could see a figure under them, curled in a ball. “Misaki?” He called tentatively and very, very low.

The noises stopped on the spot and the figure tensed under the material. The distinctive scent of fear surrounded him and then, slowly, and visibly trembling, two hands tugged on the covers to let a little head appear. _Misaki_.

“Sa—Saruhiko?!” He gasped.

And, as soon as he recognized him for good, he threw himself at the bogeyman. Saruhiko had only a second to catch Misaki’s cheeks full of tears before the kid squeezed him, almost knocking him down.

“Hey there!” Saruhiko immediately waved a hand at the door, casting his silent spell. “What the—“

“Where were you!” Misaki sobbed, and it was totally accusing.

Two hands clenched at Saruhiko’s back and left arm as tears slowly soaked the front of his suit. Misaki had grown again. He wasn’t so tiny anymore. Still small for his age, but not a little, so little boy anymore. And he had gained strength too, Saruhiko could tell since the boy was trying to pull him down onto the bed.

He eventually gave in, awkwardly sitting at the edge and still not able to figure out what was happening. It’s not like he never saw crying children. It was a daily routine. But these weren’t tears of terror. They were tears of sorrow and, unexpectedly, he didn’t relish them.

“Misaki, what is it,” he asked, his arms at his sides, Misaki’s head buried against his shoulder now.

“You—you almost m—missed it!” Misaki cried again, stuttering on the sobs.

“Missed what? Your birthday? No! Look I…” Saruhiko wanted to argue even though he didn’t have to. It’s not like he had promised Misaki he’d come especially for his birthday or anything…

“Not th—that st—stupid Saru~!” Again, Misaki’s fists clenched on his suit.

Enough. Saruhiko couldn’t bear with that anymore. Grabbing the boy’s wrists, he pushed him away, not without some gentleness. He immediately regretted it, taking a full sight of Misaki’s flushed and wet face. The latter dropped on his heels, folding his legs under him and kept sobbing silently. He averted his gaze and twisted his little hands in his lap.

“Ok, now you man up and you tell me what’s happening, Misaki,” the bogeyman intimated him. He was frowning, not pleased at all by the turn of event. “I came to wish you a hap—“

“It’s not happy anymore!” Misaki cut him abruptly and hid his face in his hands, visibly fighting the urge to burst into tears.

“Then what!” Saruhiko asked again, impatiently.

Misaki eventually ceased to hide and wiped his cheeks clumsily with the back of his hands.

“It’s my parents… They offered me the worst present,” he explained finally, his breath still uneven due to the recent sobs. “It’s exactly what I asked for…”

Saruhiko’s eyebrow arched. “That—makes no sense at all.”

He bit his tongue when he realized Misaki wasn’t exactly in the mood for any teasing or mocking and the bogeyman received a dark glance.

“I wanted a bigger room,” Misaki said again. “So they gave one to me.”

“Misaki…” Saruhiko sighed. He didn’t understand a word the boy tried to say.

“We’re moving out.”

Oh. Ouch. _That_ he clearly understood.

“Moving out?” Saruhiko muttered in echo, dumbstruck. “What do you mean _moving out_?”

He identified the thing running up his spine and didn’t like it. It wasn’t pleasant at all, that feeling. “Wait, Misaki…”

“We’re moving out because of my step-father’s work. Next to Himuka middle school,” the boy whined again.

Saruhiko blinked once, twice. The unpleasant feeling receding with it. He knew Tokyo by heart. And that’s precisely the reason why he couldn’t help the smile spreading on his face. Misaki wouldn’t even have noticed if it wasn’t for the chuckle, then the cackle and soon, Saruhiko was circling his ribs with his arms, trying not to laugh too loud.

“What’s so funny!” He heard the outraged boy ask.

And he would have sincerely answered if this wasn’t _so funny_.

A kick in his shoulder helped him calm down a bit and he discovered a brave kid, obviously scared by what he had just done but not that much, really.

“Sorry Misaki but… This is so precious!” He was half laughing, half trying to take his breath. “Himuka… Himuka middle school! You’re an idiot Misaki! I thought we’d agreed you wouldn’t try to scare me anymore! Precious!”

“Saru!!” The boy called, his face adorably flushed with anger.

Obeying to an impulsive jerk of his body (and, as he would say later _what the fuck was that_ ), Saruhiko suddenly grabbed the boy by the hand and pulled him against him. Misaki, unprepared, half-fell against him, bumping his forehead against his jaw and with a “Uuuwa~” he landed on the bogeyman’s knees, hands clutching his collar not to fall over.

Now _that_ was really scary! Even more considering the roguish smirk Saruhiko gave him. “You—you—Saru stop! You said you can’t eat me!” Misaki whined, squeezing his eyes shut and squirming.

“I’m not going to eat you, idiot!” Saruhiko rolled his eyes and caged the boy between his arms. “Don’t you know where Himuka is located?”

“It’s—“ Misaki felt silent and unmoving. “No.”

“Figures!” Saruhiko poked the boy in the stomach and elicited a pouty reaction. “Tsk! It’s like not even half a mile away from Shizume City! You really, really are…”

An idiot but… obviously, a happy one. Misaki’s eyes widened. So did his pout, twisting in a bright smile, despite his wet cheeks.

“Wait…”

“Yes, Misaki! Here’s my birthday present for you! Some good news. Despite the fact that it’s still impossible to transplant brain cells to you, I’m happy to announce you you won’t get rid of me that easily!” Saruhiko drawled.

He let go of the boy but the latter didn’t move an inch, looking up at Saruhiko in pure awe.

“But—you’ll find me? You’ll know which house…”

“I always know where to find brats, Misaki~,” Saruhiko teased.

He felt lighter now. And Misaki did too, because he turned to bury his nose in Saruhiko’s suit, hugging him close. It wasn’t tentative like the past times. Misaki wasn’t exactly afraid of him anymore. And he still could see him. He could _touch_ him. Saruhiko could feel the connection between them.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner,” he muttered, almost matter-of-factly.

“I’m sorry I’m an idiot,” Misaki answered and hugged him tighter.

“Don’t apologize for things you’re not responsible for.”

“You’re mean, Saru!” The boy was smiling, the bogeyman could feel it.

“Just a good observant. Now go to bed.”

“It’s my birthday, I can stay uuuuuup!” Misaki protested, yawning the “ _up_ ” in spite of himself.

“Obviously,” Saruhiko teased and he held the boy closer, leaning to put him back to bed.

Misaki let go reluctantly. “I hope my new classmates will be cool,” he said, tugging the cover back over his pajamas.

“They better be,” Saruhiko said lightly.

Misaki smirked shyly. “Would you scare them if they were mean?”

“You’re a big guy now. You can stand up for yourself!”

“I know! Like I’d need a monkey to defend myself,” Misaki argued, grabbing his cuddly toy anyway, with a challenging look.

Saruhiko smiled.

“Happy birthday, Misaki.”

“Thanks, Saru!”

The boy curled on his side, clutching the monkey plush against him and closed his eyes. “Can I ask for a present?” He yawned again.

“You mistook me for Santa Claus, idiot,” Saruhiko drawled.

“Come again before Halloween,” Misaki said, ignoring the bogeyman teasing.

“Only if I want to.”

But he wanted it, of course, didn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeeh! I know, not much happens in this chapter but I had to make the transition with Misaki's family moving out (for the one who read the light novels, I'm trying to stick to Lost Small World at least a bit) *o*  
> Thank you for your amazing reviews again! I promise some action coming next :3 And probably a longer chapter too!  
> Keep on leaving prompts, too!  
> I can't wait to show you what comes next (especially once Misaki's 16... It's gonna be-- Something, I promise hehe)  
> See ya xx


	6. 12 yo - That kind of vigilante

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I spent the worst day ever,” he eventually admitted.
> 
> Saruhiko narrowed his eyes and waited, not saying anything. It was somehow far worse to see Misaki in that defeated state than crying his eyes out because of the moving-out news.
> 
> “I went to school and, you know… I made new friends there! There’re these guys I’m hanging with! They’re my new Yata team! Or so I thought…” Misaki started to explain in a vague mumbling.

It was pretty chilly for a night of April. Usually, at this time of the year, Saruhiko’s _battery_ was pretty low. Children played outside again, birds sang beautifully at the crown of blossoming trees, the sun was shyly shining again. Ugh, Saruhiko wanted to throw up at the thought. Except this year was particularly cold. The weather hadn’t been so clement and children were all sad and restless puppies forced to hide inside, where the parents could keep an eye on them, ruining any attempt at doing silly things. That caused them to be all frustrated in their restrained mischief. It was the best moment to give them awful nightmares. They would cry and jump in their sleep, stress over the most little things. God, it was good to be a Bogeyman at time like this.

Saruhiko’s eyes hadn’t cease to shine in the past five days, bright gleaming blue stones. Back at the head quarter, the lights were off since the beginning of the month, everybody easily wandering around the place like in broad daylight. Tonight was the perfect night to visit Misaki.

He hadn’t seen him since the beginning of February and he wondered how the boy was. It had been two weeks he had started thinking about it too much, to the point where it disturbed him when he was on duty. And since he felt perfectly well, with all the magic he had gathered lately, he could take a night off and go and see Misaki for a couple of hours.

“Where are you going, Fushimi-kun?” Munakata chose the moment he was opening the nearest bedroom door to show up, of course.

“Somewhere,” Saruhiko drawled, obviously adding the subtitle _not that it’s your business._

“Well, we got a report earlier today, and I hope this _somewhere_ is near your _new_ perimeter,” the head of the Bogeymen said quietly.

New perimeter as in _Saruhiko had asked to have access to two new neighborhoods because of reasons at the end of the previous summer_.

“What if it is.”

Munakata said nothing and silently handed him a rolled up parchment. Saruhiko didn’t make the effort to open the seal and read it, directly hiding the thing magically inside his suit.

“Three of them. Pretty nasty children you should take care of. That is if you don’t have anything better to do, of course,” his boss explained, his face unreadable.

“I’ll deal with them tonight,” Saruhiko assured him, hiding his annoyance because seriously, what was that control freak up to.

“You’re lucky you worked well enough the past days, you know that?” Munakata judged good to ask.

Saruhiko’s piercing eyes narrowed dangerously. “Because it would be quite dangerous, to enjoy your time off duty if your powers were to be weakened.”

Again, Saruhiko said nothing and Munakata just smiled, looking rather pleased with himself. “Have a good night, Fushimi-kun.” The next second, he disappeared from his side, retreating in the shadow like a bat.

Not knowing exactly why, Saruhiko yanked the door open, suddenly ragged breathing. Sometimes he hated his boss. But it wasn’t a little threat-or-advice-pick-your-choice-in-disguise that would prevent him from going to Misaki’s place.

 

It was still early, when he crawled out of under the bed. Misaki wasn’t sleeping, he could tell by the light passing through the cover the boy had tugged above his head to create a little tent. He was playing one of his games again, probably.

The bogeyman snapped his fingers toward the door, as usual, and strode to the bed, poking Misaki’s (probably) shoulder with a black nail. It earned him a gasp and the covers just flew away. Misaki dropped the handled console and looked up, clearly expecting Saruhiko this time. His big beautiful amber eyes searched him in the dark, still used to the bright light coming from his game and the bogeyman dropped next to him.

“You’re going to ruin your eyesight playing in the dark like that, brat,” Saruhiko said quietly, with a sideway smirk.

“As if I care,” Misaki countered immediately, frowning and he straightened himself against the headboard.

Saruhiko cocked an eyebrow, surprised. Misaki deflated on the spot. “Uh sorry Saru. I’m so glad you came actually,” the boy said with a little voice and he let his head bump against the dark spirit’s shoulder tentatively. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes.

“Wow, what’s with the bad mood?” Saruhiko asked, alarmed, since Misaki always was so lively – even when scared, sick or sad. Now he was just… _off_ and it didn’t suit him at all.

“Nothing,” Misaki obviously lied, grabbing his monkey plush to crush it against his chest.

“You know what the price is for liars! I give them hell of a nightmare for a week at least,” Saruhiko warned him, leaning against him.

“I’m not lying,” Misaki pouted, averting his gaze.

“You’re twelve and clutching a cuddly toy. You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!”

“Not!!”

“What about I make you dream of a million of giant spiders crawling into your bed, under your blankets and…”

“OK I’M LYING! Happy?” Misaki frowned even more and his mouth twisted downward.

Saruhiko felt bad and slid an arm around the boy shoulder. The latter sighed again and looked up, straight into the mesmerizing stones. He looked so unhappy it hurt.

“I spent the worst day ever,” he eventually admitted.

Saruhiko narrowed his eyes and waited, not saying anything. It was somehow far worse to see Misaki in that defeated state than crying his eyes out because of the moving-out news.

“I went to school and, you know… I made new friends there! There’re these guys I’m hanging with! They’re my new Yata team! Or so I thought…” Misaki started to explain in a vague mumbling.

“What about them?” Saruhiko couldn’t help but ask, squinting his eyes.

“Well today we were in class and we had to work on the computers and at some point the professor shared their screens on the big one because they were using a forbidden mailing app and… they were writing things about me… and it wasn’t _nice_ things. I think I annoyed them…” Misaki finished to explain, looking all depressed and clutched the cuddly toy so hard his knuckles went white. “They said I was too loud and they didn’t want to play with me anymore.”

Saruhiko felt his neck burning. His usually cold and quiet blood boiling. Before he knew it, his own fists balled into tight fists.

“I ran off. I’m so laaaame,” the boy concluded, hiding his face against the bogeyman’s side.

Saruhiko was absolutely stiff by now. He knew he was pissed and he felt thirsty. Incredibly thirsty. The kind of thirst gnawing at his insides when he needed to feed on children’s terror. “Misaki isn’t lame,” he said slowly.

“But I ran to the _toilets_!” The boy added, sounding desperate.

“How many,” Saruhiko blurted out.

“Eh?” Misaki’s eyebrows arched high.

“How many are they. These kids.”

“Three. Yata team is those three,” Misaki answered and deflated once more. “They’re having a sleepover tonight. I wasn’t invited.”

“Good.”

“What?”

“Perfect!” Saruhiko made, suddenly unfolding his lanky body to get up. He clasped his hands together. “Is it near?”

Misaki frowned, not understanding what was happening. He neared the edge of the bed, leaving the monkey plush and shrugged.

“No. I don’t think so. They all live at the border of Shizume City.”

Saruhiko’s eyes narrowed and he searched for the parchment hidden in his suit. Found it in his small inside pocket - magical reasons again – and broke the seal before taking a glance at the three new names glowing in bright red letters. He turned the parchment toward Misaki (noted in the meantime that the boy looked at him in pure awe) and asked “Are these names familiar?”

“That’s—that’s them,” the child stuttered, astonished.

Saruhiko grinned wickedly. He really needed to thank his weird thorough boss. He brushed his fingertips against the names and snapped his fingers. The parchment closed again and sealed himself back magically.

“Woooooow! Saruhiko! Amazing! This is amazing! It’s magic?” Misaki asked, his liveliness renewed. He was balancing over the bed edge, craning his neck to try and take a closer look at the parchment. Saruhiko nodded, feeling warmth invading his chest. There it was again, their little connection! It always was stronger when the boy expressed intense feelings. The bogeyman felt his mood lightening.

"Alright Misaki~ How about we do something nasty together? You know— We'd call it _bonding experience_."

The little boy’s eyes widened as wide as saucers and he almost fell over the bed, trying to reach Saruhiko. “What do you mean! What do you mean!” He was smiling so brightly Saruhiko’s piercing eyes could hurt. “Wait!” He froze and frowned. “I’m not going to be punished for doing something nasty, right?” He asked, concerned. “I don’t really like spiders, Saru…”

That little pout was so cute… Saruhiko could puke. He laughed instead.

“No, I swear! Cross my heart and all the stupid stuff,” the bogeyman drawled. “You’ll just have to do exactly as I say. And keep it a secret.”

“A SECRET?” Misaki yelled, over excited now.

“Oi brat! Don’t scream like that!” Saruhiko groaned – faking annoyance when he found all this very amusing.

“Sorry,” Misaki _muttered_ this time, and you could hear in his voice how he wanted to jump and scream again. “A secret between you and me?! So cooool Saruhiko!”

“Yea, yea! Don’t sweat it.”

The boy launched himself at the young man and hugged him tight, surprising Saruhiko enough to take his breath away.

“You’re doing that squeezing stuff again,” he stated stupidly.

“I know.”

“Are you panicking?” Saruhiko teased him.

“Shaddap!” Misaki groaned, burying his nose against the bogeyman’s belly. “You’re killing it, Saru!”

“Your mother would be ashamed of your crude words,” Saruhiko sighed dramatically, wrapping his arms around the little boy. “And I’m not killing anything. You’re just too cheesy.”

“You’re squeezing me back,” Misaki commented and Saruhiko could feel him _grin_.

“Ok brat. Once we get back, you better hide, because I’m giving you a lifetime of nightmares for that!”

“Worth it,” Misaki sighed contentedly.

 

Ten minutes later, the boy in his superheroes pattern oversized pajamas and the bogeyman in his glorious striped suit stood next to each other before Misaki’s bed. The child’s excitation radiated all around the room. It was amazing, Saruhiko felt, how they simply shared their energy. He never had connected with a human being like that. He always _drained_ energy from the other, but never actually _shared_.

“You’re absolutely _not_ supposed to be doing this, so you’ll have to stay under the bed at all cost,” Saruhiko said. “And you can’t let go of my hand when we’re travelling.”

“Got it!”

“And this is _not_ me scaring children who offended you to protect you. This is me on duty and you’re just an observer,” He added but he didn’t fool any of them both. He grinned to the boy mischievously.

“Of course, Saru! I can stand for myself, after all!” Misaki said, straightening proudly. “I’m super strong!”

“You’re super small,” Saruhiko corrected.

Misaki kicked him in the shin in return. The bogeyman bared his teeth and hissed and the boy hunched – old reflexes were hard to kill. They both laughed after that. Saruhiko held his hand out and the boy grabbed it without thinking about it twice.

Next second, the dark spirit yanked the boy against him and made them disappear under the bed. Misaki’s little hand was warm in his, but comfortable, as he pictured their destination.

They got there in a flash and were welcomed by giggling sounds and dozing lights coming from frozen computer screens. Saruhiko took a look at Misaki and saw him gaping, actually not believing it would be so fast, or just _real_. He saw the boy open his mouth and quickly shut him up with a warning glance. Then he gestured for him to stay there. Two boys were sprawled on a spare futon, exchanging what looked like cards and the pressure on the bed above them indicated where the third boy was.

Saruhiko sneaked closer to Misaki and muttered in his ear very, very low “It’s going to be very cold, don’t be afraid.”

Misaki nodded, his eyes shining with excitation and amazement and Saruhiko kept that image in mind when he closed his eyes and concentrated. He snapped his fingers for the door to be soundproof and stormed out of his hiding place like the graceful yet menacing threat he was.

It was instantaneous, the room did went cold as Dante’s hell and one of the boy on the futon screamed, looking at the bogeyman with sheer terror. The other looked dumbfounded, clearly not seeing the spirit. Well after all they were twelve or thirteen, they didn’t necessarily believe in the bogeyman anymore. Too bad for them, even those who couldn’t see could always _feel_ the fear and the cold.

“What’s happening!” Asked the one who couldn’t see Saruhiko.

“THERE!” The-one-who-could shrieked, jumping behind the other.

Saruhiko spread his arms open wide, hands claw-like, and bared his teeth again, eyes gleaming dangerously and then… He roared! So hard and loud and terrible the boy who could see him burst into tears, clawing wildly at his 'friend’s back to push him as a shield between him and the bogeyman. Panicked by the sight, the two others started to scream, obviously feeling the unnatural cold temperature of the room and the dark thoughts Saruhiko was projecting all around him. He was cackling now and looked like a real monster.

Misaki wasn’t getting spiders this night, but these naughty children? Hell yes! He saw them backing away in every corner of the room, looking at hundreds of imaginary spiders, crawling toward them. They were screaming, piercing shrieks piercing his eardrums deliciously, crying, their faces painted in terror, cheeks covered with burning tears.

“Serves you riiiight~!” Saruhiko groaned and the boy who could see him almost fainted. Actually, his hands clutched at his pants and Saruhiko cackled even louder. They were literally pissing themselves! Perfect!

The dark spirit retreated, walking backward toward the bed where he disappeared along with the spiders. He found Misaki back, gaping again and frozen, took his hand and closed his eyes.

When he opened them again they were already back under Misaki’s bed. He crawled out of the dark, drawing the unmoving body with him and let go of him, abandoning the kid in the middle of the room. He had to admit the silence and stillness made him worry a bit. What if Misaki was scared of him, now? Saruhiko had made sure not to send any dark thoughts toward him.

“Eh!” He made, fidgeting a little.

Misaki looked up at him, his amber eyes bigger than ever. But his face was somehow unreadable and it was destabilizing. Saruhiko looked around him, ill-at-ease. Damn, what had he done?

“That. Was. _Fucking_. AMAZIIIIIING!” Misaki suddenly blurted, bracing his fist in the air, brought back to life.

“Language!” Was all Saruhiko could snap back, astonished.

“You’re amazing, Saruhiko! THAT WAS SO COOOOOL!” Misaki started to jump around, kicking his toys out of the way, grabbing Saruhiko’s jacket, eyes sparkling with awe and over excitation. “SO SCARY! YOU’RE THE COOLEST PERSON ON EARTH!”

Warmth blossomed in the bogeyman’s chest once again. He wanted to grin smugly, to show off, and maybe he did. He didn’t know, he was just observing the boy wreaking havoc around the room as he praised the Guardian and replayed aloud the _best moments_. It took forever to calm him down but Saruhiko didn’t mind. His sapphire eyes shone brighter than ever and he felt just amazing.

The boy eventually had to give in the fatigue, collapsing on his bed still making tiny “Wooow” and “So cooool”.

The bogeyman sat next to the limp body with a smile.

“I want to be like you when I grow up!” Misaki breathed out, amazed.

“No you don’t,” Saruhiko answered and Misaki didn’t see the rueful expression. “But yeah, that was kinda cool.”

“I loved this night! Best time ever, Saaaaaaruhiko!” Misaki yawned, rolling under the covers.

“That was nothing.”

“Thank you,” Misaki said and Saruhiko felt a hand clenching on his sleeve, tugging him down.

“Don’t thank me! Actually, that was a nasty move to pull on your comrades! I’m going to come back and haunt you forever after that,” Saruhiko drawled, leaning without knowing it.

Then a tiny pair of lips pecked him on the cheekbone, just a slight and short brush. “You’re the best, Saruhiko,” Misaki said.

The bogeyman found himself absolutely speechless, angling his head so he could see the boy’s face. He was adorably blushing and withdrawing under his covers, rubbing at his eyes sleepily.

“I—I have to go, now,” Saruhiko said, cursing his raspy voice.

“Mmh,” Misaki hummed, wrapped in the blanket, his cuddly toy poking next to his head.

“Mind the bedbugs,” the Bogeyman added, standing up awkwardly.

It was a first, Saruhiko not knowing what to do with his tall, thin and gracious body.

“They won’t attack me, you’re so scary they—they raaaaan away.” That was Misaki’s last yawn and Saruhiko was glad it was time to crawl back under the bed because all that magic between them made his knees buckle under him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I particularly loved writing this one *-* Trying to match a bit with the LSW novels too... I hope you'll like it! Thank you for ALL the amazing support! This is sooooo appreciated!


	7. 14 yo - Blue flickering lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your job fucking sucks!” Misaki couldn’t help but bark, his hands clenching into fists on the material, his face a bright red.
> 
> “Do you even hear yourself talking? There was a time you would have denounce me to your mother for saying these words,” Saruhiko chuckled again.
> 
> “This isn’t funny Saruhiko! I’m really—I’m really scared.”
> 
> “I’m not going to disappear, Misaki. I promise.”

If biting his black painted nails had been a habit for Saruhiko, he would have bitten them to the point of drawing blood. The calendar showed the date _26 th of December_. And _that_ was precisely the problem. His eyes barely shone. He had had to run all around Tokyo to make them glow again. Every year was the same, he shouldn’t be surprised. Gathering enough power around Christmas was really difficult and basically every bogeyman roaming around the head quarter was in the same weakened state. Enomoto’s state had even been concerning the past night, when Fuse had been forced to share some of his power to help him going through the night and he still was very pale.

Usually, Saruhiko didn’t worry much about _disappearing_. First, it could happen virtually, but the point of being a team under Mister Bogeyman supervision was that their power could never fade enough to the point of disappearance. Plus, Saruhiko was the scariest of them all and he trusted his skills as a super frightening dark spirit. He still had to be careful, though, and ready to help his squad.

So, the night before, when he was almost blind, his eyes charcoal black because of the lack of power, he had to retreat to the head quarter. There he had been sent to a kid’s room carefully chosen by Munakata where he had found enough strength and power to make it through the night.

The thing was… He had missed an appointment. A very important one. With Misaki.

The boy had grown up and was now 14. And Saruhiko had never ceased to visit him. As unbelievable as it sounded, Misaki still _believed_ , their bond growing along with the boy and Saruhiko had realized he couldn’t keep on living without that bond. Without Misaki. It was foolish but he visited him more and more frequently. Almost once a month, now. This time was different. The previous month, Misaki had made Saruhiko promise to come on Christmas night. And it had seem really, really important to him. It was a first too. They never have met on Christmas. And Saruhiko had missed it.

Possibly, it wouldn’t be the end of the world but he was angry at himself anyway and now he had scared a new kid and regained strength, all he could think about was to rush at the boy’s place.

No one would mind. They were all safe at the head quarter or their own places next to it and he was free to do the same. Munakata’s orders were clear: just make a priority of their magical needs. Saruhiko had filled it in, he knew it.

He poked the child’s forehead asleep before him and gave her a good old nightmare. She instantaneously started to squirm in her sleep. Thus, he crouched and vanished under the bed.

 

When he appeared under the _other_ bed, Misaki’s bed, he was surprised to find plain light in the room and didn’t get out of the hidden place immediately, stiffening. What if his parents where there? It wasn’t late after all, something around eleven. And even if he was sure Misaki’s parents couldn’t see him, he wouldn’t take the risk and appear like that. He just crawled toward the edge and the moment his head was about to poke out, the bedroom door opened and bare feet appeared. Bare shins too and Saruhiko hunched. What the fuck.

The pair of foot padded toward the closet and Misaki appeared, wearing a shirt and a pair of boxers only. His chestnut hair were damp and he obviously just got out of a shower. Just his luck. He averted his gaze as Misaki jumped into a pair of pajama pants and let him some seconds more to be sure, then he looked again. The now-teenager-but-still-a-brat-really was rummaging through the mess in his closet and Saruhiko felt like he couldn’t hide anymore.

He hadn’t wait a month and almost lost his sight over the previous night to hide under a bed because a brat had walked in his room wearing undies. Even less when he settled for superheroes pattern pajamas in the end. Seriously. Fourteen years old and… “Aren’t you a bit old for Spiderman now, Misaki~?” Saruhiko drawled, getting on his feet after clearing his throat.

As expected, the boy jumped out of his skin, a silent cry forming on his O-shaped mouth. Saruhiko snapped his fingers at the door and grinned pleasantly at the boy. He strode toward him, ready to ruffle the damp hair.

But when he extended his arm, long fingers with black-coated nails closing on the little head, Misaki just hunched and backed away. Like a fucking cat denying a stroke behind the ears.

And the way he was glaring at Saruhiko, past the surprise and the fear, reminded him of an angry cat too. He wouldn’t have been surprised to hear him _yowl_ by now.

It could have been funny. But seeing Misaki withdrawing and plastering himself against the door of his closet to get as far away as possible from Saruhiko wasn’t funny in the _slightest_. Not. Even. A. Second.

“What are you—“ Saruhiko tried his best but failed at hiding the hurtful look on his face.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Misaki asked instead, still trying to blend into the wooden door.

“Ah.” Saruhiko’s hand dropped at his side, going limp. He had it coming, after all. “Ok, I know what’s happening and why you’re angry at me.”

“Cool, then now you know, just go back!” Misaki spat, then turned away from him, literally.

“You know for how hard you may try, you can’t just go _through_ that door,” Saruhiko said flatly to hide how hurt he felt. He hoped the lump in his throat didn’t show too much.

“Why do you care? Just go back already, Saru!” Misaki barked back angrily.

He sounded sad, mostly.

Maybe if he made him laugh, it would work better?

“Look, if you’re angry because I showed up when you were dressing up, it’s ok! I saw nothing!” Saruhiko tried to joke. “But since you’re a teenager now, how about you leave a sock under your bed when you have your own little private moments to warn me. Putting it on the doorknob wouldn’t be—“

“What the FUCK Saru!” Misaki turned away, glaring at him harshly. His amber eyes threw _daggers_.

The bogeyman’s half-smirk vanished instantaneously. Misaki really wasn’t in the mood if Saruhiko got insulted for just trying to tease him and lighten the atmosphere. Ok, it was a coarse joke but… it was a joke, right?

“You’re not funny.” Misaki big beautiful eyes were shining as he looked up at the Guardian, his hands balled into tight fists. “Go away, Saru, I don’t—I don’t w…”

“Please don’t say that!”

Saruhiko’s eyes widened as he realized it was him who had talked and _interrupted_ Misaki. But he had flinched at the words and somewhere in his chest, where there was supposed to be nothing but emptiness, it had hurt terribly. “Don’t say that you don’t want to see me.”

Misaki’s mouth was only a thin line now, shut tight, as he seemed to struggle internally.

Saruhiko looked back, his light blue eyes gazing intensely at the young boy before him. He still towered him, and a lot, but he also realized Misaki had grown up. He wasn’t just a kid anymore who didn’t understand a thing. He was a young little man who wasn’t afraid anymore of the bogeyman. Not like before at least. He stared back at him without waving, despite the tears in his eyes. Saruhiko felt like hiding, running away. He remembered vividly a night when he had hunted down children who had hurt his Misaki. He wanted to make them pay. Now he was the one causing the hurting and it was worst.

“Why didn’t you show up?” Misaki broke the silence, his voice a little too high. “You promised you would come. I kept abandoning the dinner table and my family to come upstairs and check on the room. I kept looking under the bed but you never came.”

This time, as if it was too much, Misaki averted his gaze. He breathed heavily, as if he tried to calm down. Saruhiko felt so bad he couldn’t bring himself to reply. The sadness around them slowly sucked on his energy, viciously drenching him from his force.

“I barely slept and I—I cried. It was awful. It was Christmas and it was _awful_. What happened that you didn’t show up?” The boy asked again, fighting the tears menacing once again.

“Misaki,” Saruhiko breathed. “I’m sorry. I wanted to come.” It was true. He had thought about it all night. “I really wanted to come and see Misaki.”

The bogeyman felt his eyes burn and brought a hand to his glasses because, _no,_ he couldn’t possibly be _crying._ And, no, he wasn’t, but he felt like it. His eyes felt so tired, and burnt him… He was glad, for once in his life, that the light was on because he felt too weak at this moment. Even weaker with Misaki telling him he had cried himself to sleep, waiting for him to come.

The gesture was odd enough – a bogeyman wiping at his eyes – for Misaki to look up anew.

Saruhiko felt bad enough to back away. And he did, retreating toward the bed, until the back of his knees bumped against the mattress and he sat heavily, sinking into the bed. He blinked a couple of times and look at his slender hands sitting in his lap. The guilt crushed him. Not that he could have avoided it. Even if he had tried his best (and he had) he _couldn’t_ have shown up. But now Misaki was there, obviously terribly sad, and it felt like he should have tried _harder_.

“Saruhiko…” Misaki’s little voice came from closer than expected and the Guardian’s head jerked up quickly. “Your eyes.”

The boy was no longer retreating against the closet. He had closed the gap between them and his expression hadn’t exactly change. Just, somehow, Saruhiko noted, it was worse. Now there was also anxiety in the amber orbs looking at him.

“Is it because of your eyes?” Misaki asked and Saruhiko watched him - as if from a distance – as the boy raised his hands and placed them on the bogeyman’s cheeks tentatively. Just where he wore his stitches on certain nights. Not on Christmas nights, though. He cupped his face gently and their eyes met, gazes locking with each other’s.

“Did something bad happened? They’re not shining, Saruhiko,” Misaki went on, scrutinizing him thoroughly. “Did your power…”

Suddenly, realization dawned on the red head. He gaped and the bogeyman felt the pressure on his cheeks tightening. Saruhiko closed his eyes, searching for the usual connection they shared and leaning against the touch.

“Oh no. No… Your power faded away? That’s why you didn’t came?”

Misaki seemed agitated as he questioned him, but his hands didn’t move, didn’t even tremble, and Saruhiko felt like he needed that contact. It was the only thing that gave him strength, that grounded him. “It’s okay, Misaki,” he muttered. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it.”

“Look at me, Saruhiko! I need to see your eyes,” Misaki urged him.

The Guardian didn’t open them.

“Saru! Let me see if you’re okay! That’s what happened, isn’t it? You lost your powers and you couldn’t make it.”

The young boy’s voice waved with horror and Saruhiko’s eyes snapped open. Misaki flinched at the sight. He knew what the red head was looking at. Pale blue light flickering in the place of the two usual shining sapphire stones. “It happens, from time to time. I would have come if I had the strength, I swear,” he said, breathing slowly.

“Your eyes. They’re still very pale. Are you okay? Is it dangerous? Saru…”

The hands disappeared from his face and suddenly clenched at his jacket. Misaki’s eyes reflected his anxiety when he stuttered “I—I don’t—I don’t want you to disappear! Don’t disappear!”

Saruhiko found himself chuckling slightly at that. The corners of the boy’s mouth dropped in a pout that reminded the dark spirit of the younger Misaki and he could even manage a poor smirk. “I’m not going to disappear, silly! Don’t panic. I’m just really weak, but it’s part of the job.”

“Your job fucking sucks!” Misaki couldn’t help but bark, his hands clenching into fists on the material, his face a bright red.

“Do you even hear yourself talking? There was a time you would have denounce me to your mother for saying these words,” Saruhiko chuckled again.

“This isn’t funny Saruhiko! I’m really—I’m really scared.”

“I’m not going to disappear, Misaki. I promise.”

Amber eyes squinted and the bogeyman caught the thin wrists in his hands. “It’s a real promise. One I can keep, ok?”

Misaki’s grip loosened a bit and Saruhiko released him. The boy immediately went for the light, turning it off, and turning on the bedside lamp instead. Then he dropped next to the lanky figure on his bed.

“It happens sometimes,” Saruhiko repeated again slowly. “Christmas is a bad time for us. Children aren’t easy to scare during the most joyful moment of the year,” he explained.

The boy said nothing, clearly not reassured yet.

“Perks of being a bogeyman.”

“What the—I mean Saru, this can’t happen! You can’t do that! What if you disappear?” Misaki was all panicked again.

“But I won’t. Look, I’m here. I’m not exactly feeling well but—“

“Saru…” The boy interrupted him again, stubbornly. “Why did you choose to be a bogeyman? It’s dangerous!”

The taller one found himself caught off guard at the genuine question. He cocked an eyebrow. He had explained so many things to Misaki about what it meant to be a Guardian. How did it worked. Really, a lot of things, but not that.

“Misaki… You don’t just choose to be a bogeyman. You don’t choose to be a Guardian,” he told him, leaning back against the headboard of the bed, feeling very tired again. “You’re chosen.”

The amber eyes widened and sparkled with interest – like they always did when Saruhiko talked about magic and his world. Or when he talked about himself in general.

“But why were you chosen? If it’s that dangerous. You should have refuse!” Misaki said. “I mean—then I would never have met you and it would have been the worst thing ever but…”

“It’s okay. That way is better for me, too. I think it would have been—“ Saruhiko sucked in his breath. It would have been awful not to meet that little red head too. “Are you sure you want to have this conversation now? It’s supposed to be Christmas,” the bogeyman growled.

“Christmas was yesterday and it wasn’t funny at all. I want to know.”

As if to illustrate his words, Misaki shifted on the bed, sitting with his legs folded under him, leaning toward Saruhiko. The latter sat in the same fashion, kicking his boots for the first time since the first time they had met. He brought back his hands into his lap and looked carefully at the boy, studying him. The bedside lamp casted a soft light on his face, making the younger one’s eyes gleam like amber gemstones. For once, they were brighter than Saruhiko’s.

“Tell me,” Misaki asked again, and Saruhiko realized he had been staring and the boy had a faint blush spread on his cheeks.

“I’m dead,” Saruhiko deadpanned then and slapped himself mentally. What the fuck.

“I—I figured that part,” Misaki said nervously, twisting his fingers restlessly.

“Then that’s all you need to know,” Saruhiko tried to save them from the topic again but Misaki frowned.

“Yes right! Don’t give me that. If I were to die now I—“

“Shut up!” The bogeyman cut him dryly and regretted it already. “Sorry. But don’t say that, ok?”

“Alright,” the boy pouted. “But still. What happens when…”

“I can’t remember everything.” That wasn’t a lie. “When you die it’s somehow dark, endless and then suddenly you wake up. You breathe again, I can’t say how different it is from life… I don’t remember it all that much,” he mumbled and _that_ was half a lie. “I was chosen to be a bogeyman because the head of… of us, he gets to choose us when we die. It’s rare, doesn’t happen much…”

“But why _you_ ,” Misaki answered, his eyes so wide Saruhiko felt like he could drown in them.

“It’s a matter of _center_. You know, once you told me it felt warm, here.”

Saruhiko’s hand moved on its own will, flattening on Misaki’s chest, just above his heart. He remembered that moment so perfectly. The memory was _so_ bright. It had happen on a really cold, dark night. Saruhiko’s eyes shone almost too much for Misaki to stare down. The connection they shared, the energy between them, was at its peak. Misaki was way younger. He was freezing to death when the bogeyman had found him and the boy had clutch at his side for so long Saruhiko couldn’t remember. He had talk about how “ _Saru felt warm_ ”, how Misaki felt the warmth around him… And how warmth it felt “ _here_ ” when Saruhiko was there.

The dark spirit smiled absent-mindedly. Misaki was totally blushing now. He searched for his monkey toy – something he barely did anymore, and squeezed it against its chest when he had his hand on it. He did have grown up, after all. Now the cuddly toy seemed a lot smaller in his arms.

“We don’t all possess it. I must had it when I was alive, because Munakata found me.”

“Munakata--?” Misaki cocked an eyebrow.

“Tsk,” Saruhiko resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He didn’t intend to talk about him _now_. “Yes. He’s the one who choses us.”

“Like the super boss of the bogeymen?” Misaki asked and he looked small again, like the child he was after all.

Saruhiko laughed good-heartedly. “Right. Like the super boss of the bogeymen. He gave me my powers and that was it. I couldn’t do anything else. Or I could but I’d disappear. I just—I guess I just went with it. That’s where I belong, now.”

“And you say I have that center too?” Misaki asked, leaning even more forward.

Saruhiko frowned, his smile disappearing. He already knew what Misaki was thinking about.

“No. I mean, yes. You have it, but don’t—“

“Saru wait,” Misaki said, his excitation state growing more and more as he leaned forward. “Does that mean—“

“It doesn’t mean anything! I told you not to say these things! It takes more than a center to become a bogeyman and—Oh my god, no! No we’re not talking about that!”

The bogeyman balanced his feet off the edge of the bed and moved to get up. He couldn’t believe what was happening.

As expected, though, a hand closed around his wrist and silently asked him to stay. Saruhiko took a sharp breath and turned back.

“You’re fourteen, Misaki. And you’re healthy and full of—full of stupid life, idiot! We’re not talking about that! You’re not going to be a bogeyman. Out of question. End of the conversation”

The Guardian closed his eyes and a flight of steps flashed against his eyelids, forcing him to snap them open painfully. He clawed at his chest by reflex.

“We’re just _talking_ Saru! I’m not going to die, you stupid!” Misaki brought him back on the bed forcefully.

Saruhiko felt so tired he couldn’t fight back much. He sat again, although a lot more stiff than before.

“Does it hurt?”

The genuine question was careful, low. Saruhiko suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. A vicious cackle resounded inside his head for a brief instant.

“What,” he mouthed, hunching.

“Dying.”

“What the actual _fuck_ is wrong with you!” He shouted this time, almost fed up. “Why are you asking this! You shouldn’t think about these things at your age!”

Misaki frowned, visibly angry for being treated that way. He dropped the monkey plush and crawled toward Saruhiko, searching his gaze with determination. He really was a pain in the neck, after all.

“I want to know if you were hurt. I don’t want you to be hurt, Saruhiko, is all,” the boy said bravely.

That statement took the bogeyman aback again and he gaped, his looks softening a bit as he pushed back Misaki slowly, forcing him to sit back on his heels. He felt hollow inside. He felt like falling into the stairwell, _ag_ —

“I don’t remember it.” Saruhiko shrugged.

Misaki’s amber eyes studied him mercilessly. Somehow, Saruhiko knew he didn’t believe him.

“I wish I could be afraid of you again,” Misaki said, his eyes full of wonder, his mouth now curling in a rueful, gentle smile.

“Eh?” The bogeyman didn’t understand.

“That way you’d be stronger,” Misaki added. He was obviously dropping the tearful subject for now and Saruhiko couldn’t say he wasn’t thankful for that.

“I’m stronger than Misaki anyway,” he teased the boy, managing to put a smirk on his face.

“I don’t think so,” Misaki countered, outraged. “Look!” And he raised an arm, mimicking bodybuilders as if he wanted to make the muscles appear.

“Yes. Nice Spiderman pajamas, indeed,” Saruhiko mocked and poked his shoulder with a finger.

“Will you stop with that?! Spiderman is really cool!” Misaki growled.

“Weren’t you afraid of spiders?”

“I told you I’m stronger now!” Misaki groaned.

“So, if I give you a nightmare with spiders when I leave later, it’s ok,” Saruhiko said, his mouth twitching at the corner.

“If you give me a nightmare, I will kick your ass! You can’t do that on Christmas!” Now the boy was all worked up.

“I thought it wasn’t Christmas…” Saruhiko countered.

The monkey plush flew straight into his face. “So mean, Saruhiko!”

“I can’t help it!” he countered with an apologetic shrug and a wide grin.

“I’m going to report you to Munata—Muna— _Humph_! SARU!” Misaki yelled when his two pillows _and_ cuddly toy were thrown at his face.

“So many nightmares to come, Misaki~,” Saruhiko chanted, hovering over the now laying-flat-on-his-back boy, claw like hands hanging up in the air.

“Go away, meanie!” And Misaki’s giggle filled the air as slender fingers dug into his ribs to tickle him to death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN-DUN-DUUUUN!  
> Saruhiko is dead awhmahgad! Hahaha! (why am I even hahaha-ing?) You'll know more about it later, I promise :)
> 
> I want to thank everyone for the amazing support! The kudos and views are so cool but damn... your sweet words and comments give me life, it's so good to share with you!  
> Also I think xXSilver146Xx, YuunKingdom and Thisloveisradiant wanted to know what would happen if Saruhiko didn't show up one time Misaki was really looking forward to it... Well I guess I answered that *-*
> 
> See ya, beautiful people x


	8. 15 yo - In the middle of a February night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t know what day it is, do you?” Misaki asked, and he seemed more confident, now.
> 
> “Actually, no.” It was February, that he knew, middle of the month, but nothing had happen that required for him to remember the date specifically. “Should I—“ and that’s when his gaze fell on the desk.
> 
> A box sat on it. He heard Misaki fidgeting. It was a heart-shaped box, with chocolates in it, obviously, since it was open and half of them were missing. His mouth formed a perfect O when he understood, then he grinned, craning his head toward the teenager. “Oh, I see!”

February struck hard the year of Misaki’s fifteenth birthday. It was hardly possible to go out without freezing to death, losing a finger or two to the cold and exhaling puffs of white mist. Saruhiko’s eyes were as bright as they could during those icy times and he felt amazing. Since the beginning of the year, he had already met Misaki more than three times already, and February wasn’t even coming to an end. He hadn’t missed Munakata’s repetitive glances the past months either. He couldn’t read any disapproval, nor encouragement. As always, his boss’ face was unreadable. In the end, he didn’t mind them, as long as he wasn’t personally called to discuss the matter, Saruhiko could go with the enigmatic glances.

That’s why he didn’t feel guilty in the slightest when he crawled under the king sized bed of the mansion. He closed his eyes and pictured Misaki’s smiling face. It was around midnight when he appeared under the teenager’s bed. The lights were off. And the room was cold as hell. If the temperatures bothered the Guardian, he would have shiver. Instead, he got on his feet and looked around him, noticing immediately the empty bed. He frowned. Was it possible that Misaki wasn’t there?

But then, he noticed the opened window too and the sticky note on the glass, slightly wavering in the freezing air. The bogeyman jumped to the window in a flash and took the note in his hand. Written in a messy handwriting stood a few words against the paper: _Look down, Monkey_. The corners of his mouth twitched up as his eyebrows merged together. What the—

“Gotcha!” A cheeky voice exclaimed from the yard but Saruhiko barely registered it, since a perfectly round snow ball hit him square in the face at the same moment.

It almost sent his glasses flying and the remnant of snow slid under his collar and on the floor as he was going stiff, dumbstruck. He blinked a couple of times as a triumphant laughter came from under him. Bracing himself against the window sill, his hands clutching the lower edge, he leant out of the window and found fifteen years old Misaki, wearing a coat with a furry-rim hood over a shirt and a black beanie, looking up and straight at him in the moonlight. He was still laughing crazily, his arms around his ribcage.

“That face you made!” Misaki went on, giggling. “O—ok, I’m coming upstairs, just—just wait for me,” he added and strode toward the entrance of the house, probably.

“Yes. Do that quickly so I can actually kill you,” Saruhiko drawled, pushing back his glasses up his nose.

Misaki stopped in his track, his boots gliding in the snow, as he made a face. “Uh-uh. Then I’m staying here.”

“ _Quickly_ , Misaki~!” Saruhiko ordered and there was something in his voice that made the teenager smirk and hurry eventually.

The bogeyman smiled too, as he waited quietly for the boy to come to him. He really was a brat. “I guess it can’t be helped,” he muttered as the door opened and Misaki stepped in.

Saruhiko leant back against the window sill, crossing his arms over his striped suit. Misaki took his time to shrug his coat off. He hadn’t disposed of his boots yet, and didn’t bother. Then he lit up the bedside lamp and finally looked at Saruhiko, his face lightening up with a bright smile.

He walked to him and froze at arm’s length, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels as he gave him a cheeky smile. “Hi Saru!”

“Why won’t you come closer, Misaki~?” The dark spirit asked with a wicked smirk.

“Oh you know… Just not feeling like dying today,” the teenager replied, all cocky.

“Not very brave, are we?”

“Don’t be like that! Being brave has nothing to do with trying to survive, ok?” Misaki said, looking at him through his eyelashes.

That stupid brat! Saruhiko’s smile must have been more fond than threatening, though, because eventually, Misaki approached him to bump his fist in the bogeyman’s shoulder.

And as soon as his knuckles connected with the material of the suit, Saruhiko jerked his hand upward and caught the boy’s wrist. “Wow, Sa— _huph_!” The bogeyman tugged on the arm fast and the teenager stumbled forward and crashed against the other’s chest.

“Now now, Misaki! Can’t you even stand still?” He teased him as his slender arms circled the boy.

His chin rested on the top of the chestnut head and he felt instantaneously better. Not that he wasn’t feeling good before, but as soon as the teenager was pulled into his embrace, the usual warmth spread in his chest.

“You’re squeezing me,” Misaki commented, his voice muffled against Saruhiko’s chest.

“Yea yea… I must have panicked,” Saruhiko drawled and he felt Misaki pinch his left flank.

He let go of him eventually and sat back on the edge of the window sill as Misaki fumbled backward, rubbing the back of his head with a faint blush on his cheeks. Saruhiko felt a lazy smirk twisting his mouth.

“So eeerr… What brings you here? I didn’t expect you. The note was just in case,” Misaki said, standing almost awkwardly in front of him.

“Yes, because when you saw the snow you couldn’t help but rush in the yard to fool around like a mad puppy. You never change,” Saruhiko chuckled lightly. Misaki pulled his tongue out and made a pout. “I just felt like saying hello,” the bogeyman added, crossing his arms again.

“Oh,” Misaki made and he averted his gaze. “I thought that—nothing.”

“You thought nothing?” Saruhiko repeated. “Yes. So what’s different from all the other times?”

“Aaah, shaddap!” The teenager groaned, rolling his eyes.

“Do tell, then,” Saruhiko encouraged him with a smile. Because for as much as it was pleasant to make fun of him he still wanted to know what bothered the boy. “Misaki~…”

“Nothing Saru. It was just a joke, it’s cool,” the boy insisted, a grin forming on his lips slowly. It wasn’t that convincing and Saruhiko really felt like pushing his luck.

“Then just spill it out if it’s a joke!” Saruhiko said, standing up too and looking around the room.

“You don’t know what day it is, do you?” Misaki asked, and he seemed more confident, now.

“Actually, no.” It was February, that he knew, middle of the month, but nothing had happen that required for him to remember the date specifically.  “Should I—“ and that’s when his gaze fell on the desk.

A box sat on it. He heard Misaki fidgeting. It was a heart-shaped box, with chocolates in it, obviously, since it was open and half of them were missing. His mouth formed a perfect O when he understood, then he grinned, craning his head toward the teenager. “Oh, I see!”

“You see nothing!” Misaki protested immediately. “Some random girl gave it to me today at school and I didn’t know what to do of them,” he growled.

Saruhiko pretended not to hear that and closed the space between them, his impish grin widening as he leant over the boy. “Happy Valentine’s day, Misaki~!” He dropped. “That’s what you tried to tell me, right?”

“It was a joke, dammit,” Misaki growled, rolling his eyes again and blushing.

“Aw, that’s quite cute! A blushing virgin who doesn’t know how to deal with a box of chocolates. But don’t worry, Misaki, that girl isn’t going to eat you.”

The bogeyman was enjoying himself like never and the bright red creeping on the boy’s cheek was enough of a reward. “Stop already!” The latter exclaimed, outraged. “Who said I was a…”

“A virgin? I can smell it from miles away. But except for that fact…” Saruhiko shrugged and laughed and—

Received a kick in the shin. He yelped but, well, it was fair enough.

Saruhiko stepped backward, still grinning, although it was more a gentle smile now. He retreated to the window again and sat back on the sill, under Misaki’s gaze. The teenager was obviously pouting. The taller man beckoned for him then opened his arms wide. “Come here,” he said.

“Certainly not,” Misaki bit back, chin’s up and eyes deliberately looking away.

“Misaki,” the bogeyman drawled, gesturing again for him to approach.

“What.”

“Come here, I’ll show you,” Saruhiko said again and there was a glint in his eyes. A luminous and teasing glint and it did it. After all, Misaki was nothing but a cheeky teenager willing to prove he wasn’t afraid anymore of that lame bogeyman who kept coming to haunt him so often. Of course he closed the gap between them and tucked himself in Saruhiko’s embrace.

“You’ve got nothing more to show me, Saru,” Misaki groaned, rolling his eyes as his fists closed on the striped material.

“You think so?” The bogeyman asked with a smirk the boy couldn’t see but sure _heard_.

“I know you by heart,” the teenager mumbled against his chest. “You can hardly surprise me now.”

“By heart, eh?” Saruhiko repeated. “Let’s see if I can’t.”

And his grin widened. His arms circled Misaki’s body firmly in the meantime and he didn’t think twice before bending backward and simply… out of the window. Somehow, he found a second to whisper in the teenager’s ear a “Don’t scream” and then they were falling toward the white land underneath them.

Misaki didn’t scream, indeed, frozen in sheer shock, when he realized what was happening and the fall was too sudden and too short to give him the time anyway. He just gasped violently when he saw the snow closing more and more and buried his face in the bogeyman’s chest, waiting for the crushing noise when they’d hit the floor but it never happened. The only thing hitting another one was Misaki’s heart beating so wildly Saruhiko could feel it through their cloths.

Of course they didn’t crash on the ground, for the Guardian had magical powers and they landed quietly and peacefully in the immaculate powder. Misaki squealed when Saruhiko’s back sank into the snow a bit more abruptly but it seemed like he couldn’t bring himself to separate from the bogeyman.

Saruhiko could feel the warmth emanating from the teenager’s body, whose legs were tangled with his, and his fists clenched on his suit, and his heart racing like it was the last minute of his life and it wanted to beat everything it had left during that short amount of time. He felt all that and couldn’t help but start laughing like mad, with a happy, sincere laughter ringing like a melody… Not like the creepy and manic snicker he usually had.

The melody was cut short, though, when one of Misaki’s fists loosened its grip on his suit and found its way to the bogeyman’s jaw. The teenager just punched him in the face. Not _that_ hard, but way harder than the time he was a little boy.

“I’m—I’m— This—How!“ Saruhiko realized Misaki was trying to talk and he laughed again, of course.

He was still laughing when the shaking boy sat up straight and straddled him, his hands clenching on his collar and bow tightly. His face was flushed like never and he was obviously mad at him and scared and Saruhiko couldn’t stop laughing and looking up at the teenager’s shape standing out against the clear midnight sky.

The scenery was the most beautiful thing he ever saw, was all Saruhiko could think at that moment. The connection between them was overwhelming as emotions were fighting their way out of the boy towering him.  

“I hate you,” Misaki eventually stuttered, still flushed and shaking like a leaf.

“No, you don’t,” Saruhiko breathed through his laugh, pinned to the ground.

The teenager shook the bogeyman’s collar, probably for good measure, but then he collapsed on top of him, his eyes squeezed shut. “You’re amazing.”

“No, you d—“ Saruhiko’s laugh broke and he choked on the words when he understood what Misaki had just said.

The warmth grew stronger and Misaki’s trembling body was pressed against his forcefully now.

“You’re amazing, I mean it.” The boy repeated almost angrily. “But seriously, I fucking hate you, so fucking much!”

Saruhiko wanted to laugh again, but it came out nervous and weird and the funny sound passing his lips didn’t please him at all so he just hugged the teenager closer.

He suddenly felt terribly self-conscious when he was just so pleased with the situation seconds ago and thought it was better to keep it quiet for a bit. He focused on the heart beating wild against his chest instead, finding it oddly soothing.

The rhythm of it calmed down bit by bit, the same way Misaki’s body stopped shivering.

“Language,” the bogeyman eventually drawled awkwardly what felt like an hour later, when the warmth overflowing them was almost too much.

“ _Fuck you_ ,” the teenager grumbled with annoyance.

The chestnut head rose and the big amber eyes met the blue gemstones in a challenging look.

“I swear I’m going to take my revenge on you, and you’ll regret the day you first came to scare me, Saruhiko,” Misaki warned him, though his mouth was slowly twitching up in a cocky smile.

“I doubt that,” Saruhiko admitted.

“I’m stronger now,” the boy added and he rolled next to the dark spirit, landing in the snow in his turn, despite the fact he wasn’t wearing a coat anymore.

“You’re still a mad puppy fooling around in the snow. Not very frightening, Misaki~,” Saruhiko drawled.

As expected, a hand full of snow slapped his face, blinding him for a second.

“Oh. Dear god,” the bogeyman faked lazily a second later. “Was that supposed to be frightening?”

“Shaddap, lame monkey! You don’t even feel the cold, there’s no fun!” Misaki groaned, sitting in the snow.

A lazy smirk appeared on the bogeyman’s face as he looked up at him.

“So what? You’re going to sulk?” He asked, poking the teenager in the ribs with one of his slender fingers.

Misaki didn’t answer, one of his hand flying fast to catch Saruhiko’s one in a strong grip.

“One more word and you’ll be the first bogeyman to have nightmares, Saruhiko,” Misaki warned again and he let himself fall back in the snow beside the Guardian.

He didn’t let go of his hand. On the contrary, he intertwined their fingers _more_ like it was the most natural thing to do.

“You’re going to freeze if we stay here,” the bogeyman said, his voice strangely husky.

“You could nurse me back to health, back in time,” Misaki answered as huskily.

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re smart enough for two.”

“Tsk.”

Saruhiko looked up at the dark sky and unconsciously tugged the teenager’s hand. Smart he sure was, but wise… that he wasn’t, the bogeyman realized when he thought of Misaki’s bed upstairs and how he should leave, now. It just began to be something he couldn’t bring himself to do so easily lately. Saruhiko almost crushed the teenager’s fingers in his. No… It wasn’t wise at all.

“You really didn’t know?” Misaki’s voice shyly pierced the silence, snapping Saruhiko out of his reverie.

“Didn’t know what?” He asked, frowning.

“What day we were.”

Ah. That. Misaki sounded like it was a big deal but he tried to hide it. Saruhiko thought about the heart-shaped box again and let go of the teenager’s hand.

“Don’t worry, Misaki~. She’s not going to eat you, I told you already,” he drawled, missing the warmth already.

“She—eh? What are you… Oh! No!” The teenager sat up again as fast as a lightning bolt, craning his head to look at the bogeyman with a puzzled look. “I wasn’t talking about _that_!”

“Tsk. Virgin,” the dark spirit uttered stubbornly, ignoring the heat creeping under his cheeks.

And, on that, he received another handful of snow in the face in response.

Thinking about it… He really, really sure wasn’t being wise at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeh guys! I'm back :)  
> I missed you A LOT! Just had to wait to post this one because I came up with the idea and it was already the beginning of Feb and it would have been stupid not to be patient and release it before Valentine's day, right? :3 So, yes, the next is the 16yo chapter I've been ranting about haha but for now, just have a happy Valentine's day with your lover or not, you're amazing all the same ;)  
> Can't wait to hear from you *-* See you x


	9. 16 yo - The jealous girlfriend issue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What was that Saruhiko!?”
> 
> Here. He knew it was coming, and yet he couldn’t help but grin wickedly to hide his true annoyance and own anger.
> 
> “That is my line, idiot,” he drawled, very aware of the small amount of space between them.
> 
> “You scared her to death! What are you doing here?” Misaki asked again, his hands on his hips.
> 
> “The real question is what were you not doing there, Misaki~! I was at your place, and obviously you weren’t!” He said, feeling more and more annoyed. Was he not happy to see him? Maybe he truly was annoyed. It made him feel hollow.
> 
> “Yes! Because I was invited to a party!” He pointed the door behind him with a thumb and then blushed, looking down. “And I thought you wouldn’t come. I thought now you came other nights, you wouldn’t come anymore on Halloween…” the redhead mumbled.

Saruhiko was thrilled. It finally was Halloween. It was Halloween night and his eyes were glowing bright. The headquarters had been empty when he had left the huge mansion. Every bogeymen was already on the run, hunting for their preys around Tokyo. Not Saruhiko.

He had made sure to overwork the past days to be at full strength on this very night. He needed the strength, for he didn’t plan to scare much people tonight. He planned to spend almost all of it with only one person. And that only one person meant a lot to him, whether he was ready to admit it or not. He remembered exactly what had happened exactly ten years ago. Misaki Yata was 6 years old back then, and had blinded the bogeyman with a flashlight. It had all started back then. At this time, if someone had told him he would come back ten years later to spend a whole night with a human just for the sake of having good time and share a magical bond that made him feel more alive than he ever felt in both his lives, he would have thrown daggers and laugh manically. Now he avoided the thought, because he knew something wasn’t normal.

It wasn’t normal to meet a teenager on a regular basis and to care that much about a mortal and an idiot on top of that. Or so Saruhiko repeated himself over and over. But then Misaki wasn’t normal himself. He wasn’t ordinary human. He had a _center_ , Saruhiko could feel it. It happened sometimes, even though it was rare. And so they shared a connection Saruhiko would never abandon, not for all the money in the world or anything else for that matters. It was _his_. His and Misaki’s. What they had, no one else had it, he was sure of it. And he wasn’t keen on let it go or share it. Saruhiko never had possessed anything on his own. Not in his human life, nor in this afterlife. For if he found safety under Munakata’s care, he didn’t own much more. Misaki was his. Misaki’s emotions were his, since the first time he had fed on them. All of Misaki was his. And he needed all of it. Wanted all of it.

The Guardian grinned wide and crawled out of under the bed, like he already had dozens and dozens of times now. “Mi-saaa-ki~!” He hissed mischievously, already enjoying himself far too much. Then he unfolded his gracious and slender body and here he was, spreading his arms as wide as his grin was, cackling lightly and opened his eyes. “Happy—Whaaaat the hell—oween?”

His arms fell flat along his flanks as he stared at the neat bed. Neat bed. So unlike Misaki. Misaki who wasn’t on said neat bed. Nor in any corner of the room. The bedroom itself _felt_ empty. There was not a single emotion hanging in the air, and Saruhiko couldn’t mistake that emptiness for anything else: the place was unoccupied. No human was there.

He rushed to the closed window, on which no sticky note was to be seen, and looked down at the empty yard. Misaki definitely wasn’t there. And it was past ten. He never ate later than nine with his family. So… Could it be that he wasn’t home? On a Halloween night? On _their_ night?

The feeling that had been bothering Saruhiko since the moment he had opened his eyes fully dawned on him. It was more than simple disappointment. It was anger. His fingers twitched slightly as he turned again to look at the room. Misaki didn’t appear in the meantime. The only living thing in the room, actually, was the laptop still open on the desk. The screen wasn’t frozen, showing bubbles of conversations in a corner next to a skateboard game and its winning interface. Saruhiko strode to the desk and shoved the chair aside to lean forward. The game was named _‘World Conflict’_ and regarding the score records, Misaki was a killer at it. In other circumstances, Saruhiko would have smirked for Misaki’s geeky skills. Now, though, he was only frowning.

His gaze shifted to the other side of the screen, to what looked like a conversation software. The most recent one was bright on the screen, indicating there was an unread message waiting for Misaki. It came from a certain ‘ _Rikio’_. Under this conversation were queuing a lot of others with a certain ‘ _Chitose’_ , another with ‘ _Eric_ ’ and even one meant for a group called ‘ _HOMRA rocks_ ’ with other guys’ names and the same ones as previous. Saruhiko’s fingers twitched again and he couldn’t help but open the unread conversation with Rikio, scrolling immediately. It had been so many times since he had touch a computer for the last time but the reflexes kicked in fast. If he recalled something from his past life, it was the never ending hours spent behind a screen; the only place he had ever felt safe while living.

He stopped scrolling quickly, though, when he froze himself at the words he was reading.

**Rikio** < So cool Yata! Just go for it if u like her!!! >

Even though Saruhiko didn’t have a beating heart, he did have guts and they did twisted in the most uncomfortable way possible. But from that moment, it was impossible to go back. He didn’t know why he felt that way, reading these words but it was probably related to the fact that he didn’t like the idea of ignoring what was going in Misaki’s life. Nothing more. Misaki always told him everything but they hadn’t met in a month and if he had meet a stupid random uninteresting chick, Saruhiko wanted to know because… Fuck. It was so disturbing he almost slapped the laptop shut but instead, he decided to read the rest of the conversation.

**Yatagarasu** < No idk.. It’s like that person… doesn’t live here really >

**Rikio** < Ha >

**Rikio** < Long distance relationships suck eh? >

**Yatagarasu** < Yeaaaa… they fuking do I guess >

**Rikio** < It’s ok tho! Tonight syour first party with the guys!! U can forget about her for now and we gonna have fun and u’ll figure all that later >

**Yatagarasu** < Damn right we’re having that party! >

**Yatagarasu** < Anyway it’s not like I could date anyone tbh just forget about it >

**Rikio** < Noooooo >

**Rikio** < Don’t say that Yata!!! >

**Rikio** < So what’s ur costume >

**Yatagarasu** < I’ll be the bogeyman bro brace yourself! >

**Rikio** < AWESOME you remember the address? >

**Yatagarasu** < Eh it’s Chitose’s place? No I never do… >

**Rikio** < Go to HOMRA’s convo I send it there for everybody >

**Yatagarasu** < ALRIGHT SEE YA >

**Rikio** < YEEEES IT’S GOING TO BE SO COOL >

**Rikio** < And Chitose said there be a loooot of hot gals too! >

That was the last message of the conversation. A message Misaki hadn’t reply to. But now it was clear where he was. At a party. A stupid party, dressed as the bogeyman like an idiot, and surrounded by _hot gals_. Cool. Perfect. Really! And with that, there was no sticky note for Saruhiko to find him. Only… An address in that HOMRA’s conversation. Fucking priceless.

The dark spirit didn’t realized how dark he actually was, but it was a good thing he was alone because he had progressively sucked all the light in the room and turned it into something as cold as the hell itself.

He took a minute or two to examine his options. He could totally return to the headquarters now. He could just ‘Tsk’ and take his list and go to random places around Tokyo and scare children to the point of giving them stroke. He was powerful enough not to go out for a couple of days and just hide under his bed, nesting in the darkness of his rooms if he wanted too. Or… Or he could unclench his fists, chin up, and walk away to that stupid address just to give Misaki a hard time. It was their night, after all. He deserved an explanation or at least some terrific emotions to feed on. He could take revenge, walk in the place and cast illusions to make that Halloween party a true nightmare… There was so many things he could do and even if he wouldn’t admit it because of his pride, he sure wanted to spend that night with Misaki, either for the best. Or the worst, actually.

Nobody had ever seen a bogeyman hiding under a bed and sulking. Today wasn’t the day to start with that kind of things. He was seeing Misaki, no matter what. After all, that blushing virgin, in the middle of girls dressed for Halloween with so little to cover their bodies… Actually, he was going on a rescue mission, right? He was…

“Tsk, stupid Misaki!” Saruhiko hissed, ignoring the odd feeling twisting his guts as best as he could, and crawling under the bed.

 

There were things you couldn’t predict, even when being the bogeyman, though. And Saruhiko sure couldn’t predict Chitose had a little sister, when he reappeared under a crib. Obviously, it was empty, since the music was thrumming from the other side of the door. It was somehow muffled in the distance but still there. Saruhiko got up, dusting his suit mechanically. Turned over and… “SHIT!” What kind of person kept a two years old girl sleeping in a room next to a party full of teenagers! “Shit no!” Because describing the little girl as _sleeping_ was only a utopian dream at this point and his first exclamation had made her open her eyes instantaneously.

The big lanky dark spirit and the little half asleep girl looked at each other for what felt like less than a second until… “No, no, no,” Saruhiko hissed through his teeth, stepping back. “Hush, hush! It’s ok! Don’t…”

Thankfully, the bogeyman didn’t ridiculed himself longer, trying to appease a child and coax her to sleep – what the fuck seriously – because you couldn’t fight your own nature and the little girl shrieked so loud it covered even the music. Too late.

Saruhiko jumped aside, as far as he could from the crib and landed in the middle of a nice amount of toys. The like toddlers got and that made as much light as they produced awful noises. At least, his repetitive curses were muffled by the piercing noises coming from the toys and the screams and sobs coming from the girl.

And that’s when the door banged open. Saruhiko froze in the middle of the cackling toys, glad for his not beating heart, otherwise _he_ would have been the one getting a stroke. A bunch of guys flooded the room immediately after. Four, to be more precise. Three Saruhiko didn’t know and who rushed around the crib, one taking the girl in his arms and turning to the door toward the fourth. “Yata, I thought you said she was asleep?”

That’s when Misaki stepped in fully. Saruhiko sucked in his breath, looking at the teenager who… looked back with eyes as wide as saucers. He could see him, of course. And he couldn’t believe said eyes, it seemed. Saruhiko either, to be exact. For Misaki was dressed exactly like him. Same striped suit, same big bat-shaped bow, same stiches along the cheeks. He just lacked the glasses.

“Yata?” Gaping _Yata_ looked from Saruhiko to the three other boys, then to Saruhiko again, and he forced himself to close his mouth and answer. “She was. I swear she was sl—I’m—listen it’s ok, she probably had a night—a nightmare. I’ll deal with it,” he said, trying to focus on his friend.

Saruhiko couldn’t move an inch and it was his luck the boy held the crying girl against him so she couldn’t see him anymore. But luck never last, right? And the boy, still holding the girl, paced toward the toys with a frown. “It’s her stupid toys! Might have woken her—“

“DON’T!” Misaki cried out all of a sudden, and he rushed toward where Saruhiko stood so fast it was a blurry flash. The other boy stopped in his track, looking at him with a puzzled look. Actually, the three of them did and Saruhiko himself was puzzled enough not to see the kick coming.

It hit him right in the stomach, though, as Misaki pushed him behind the curtain forcefully and stepped on the toy himself. “I’ll deal with it!” He added, all flushed.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Asked a fat blond guy.

“I’m sure! I’m sure, just—just let me deal with it! I needed to get away from the music anyway. Just close the door behind you, ok?” He held his arms out, as Saruhiko could see from behind the curtain. He hid quickly when he saw the other boy passing the now calmed down little girl to Misaki. If she saw him again, it would be messy.

There were more noise coming from the other side of the curtain as Misaki returned to the crib, probably. “You’re sure you’re ok Yata?” He was asked. “Of course, why wouldn’t I! Go on, I’ll be there in a minute!” Misaki answered with a faked joyful tone.

Then the door closed again as the three others stepped outside. The relative silence came back and Saruhiko listened to the motion inside the room. There was someone humming and he recognized the sound of something stranger just after. And Misaki’s voice. It was a lullaby. Misaki was lulling the child to sleep. It was a mix of comforting words and quiet melody. It wasn’t like Misaki at all. Loud and over excited. It was like a big brother who’s used to do that kind of things. The kind who can beat you to a pulp for annoying his little sister in broad daylight, before singing lullabies to said sister in the peace of the night. He didn’t know that side of Misaki at all.

He just knew the redhead recently had a little brother and a little sister but they almost never spoke about them.

He didn’t have time to think much about it, nonetheless, since a hand suddenly snaked behind the curtain and took a good hold on his sleeves, pulling him out of the hidden place. Then, he was dragged as silently and fast as possible out of the room and almost bumped in the other’s back immediately. One of the three boys from previously was there, in the middle of the corridor. The fat one, dressed as a mummy probably, sunglasses pushed up on his head. “Yo Yata! Are you alright?” He asked the moment Saruhiko and Misaki collided and Misaki almost tripped against the other teenager.

No way in hell. Saruhiko yanked him back hard enough for them to collide again and the other looked at him like it was the strangest scenery he had ever witnessed. And maybe it was, considering he couldn’t see the bogeyman and only his friend obviously hanging in between two invisible forces that made him trip on his own feet. Saruhiko wanted to slap his own face.  

“You’re acting a bit odd…” The fatty said again, concerned.

“No, I’m perfectly fine! I just had too much beer… I never drank some before…” Misaki explained, rubbing the back of his head. Saruhiko pulled on his other wrist to manifest his presence again, glaring at the blond boy. “Anyway, I’ll join you in a minute Kamamoto!” Saruhiko yanked him a bit harder and this time, Misaki turned his back on Kamamoto to look only at the bogeyman. Better. He was glaring at him though, and muttered a “Stop that”. It could have been drowned in the music coming from downstairs but Kamamoto seemed to hear it. “Yata?” He asked tentatively.

Saruhiko scowled at Misaki who elbowed him in the ribs before abruptly turning away and pulling him to make him follow. “Just give me a minute, Kamamoto, will ya!” He said and opened a door on his right before shoving Saruhiko in it unceremoniously. He went after him and closed it hard, muffling the “But Yata, this is a closet you—“ coming from the persistent mummy.

Saruhiko was already plastered against the wall and decided he wasn’t the one at fault here, so he took his most unfazed and cool look and crossed his arms, his chin up. The light followed soon but not as bright as Saruhiko expected it. It was a poor neon light flickering from behind a box on the top shelves. It casted strange shadows upon Misaki’s beautiful face. Misaki’s angry beautiful face actually.

“What was that Saruhiko!?”

Here. He knew it was coming, and yet he couldn’t help but grin wickedly to hide his true annoyance and own anger.

“ _That_ is my line, idiot,” he drawled, very aware of the small amount of space between them.

“You scared her to death! What are you doing here?” Misaki asked again, his hands on his hips.

“The real question is _what were you not doing there_ , Misaki~! I was at your place, and obviously you weren’t!” He said, feeling more and more annoyed. Was he not happy to see him? Maybe he truly was annoyed. It made him feel hollow.

“ _Yes_! Because I was invited to a party!” He pointed the door behind him with a thumb and then blushed, looking down. “And I thought you wouldn’t come. I thought now you came other nights, you wouldn’t come anymore on Halloween…” the redhead mumbled.

Saruhiko gaped at that. He didn’t expected this. That’s probably why he sounded so lame when he responded “I took the whole night off for you, idiot.”

Misaki looked up quite fast, his face now scarlet. They started a battle of glances and then…

“How should I—I couldn’t know that you—“

“You’re stupid, like always you—“

“Eh!? I can’t predict your moves Saru! You almost never tell me when you’ll come! I can’t figure this…”

“Right! Tch!”

The argument ended on that and they both crossed their arms, sulking in their own corner (which basically was the same since they were separated by less than half a meter). Misaki was the first to break the silence. “Don’t get it wrong, I’m happy to see you,” he actually said, averting his gaze. “It was just odd to show up like that. They must have thought I was crazy or something. And you made Chitose’s sister freak out. She’s only two. And it took me twenty minutes to put her to sleep earlier,” the teenager was mumbling, never looking directly at the bogeyman, but the latter only half listened, too distracted by the _I’m actually happy to see you fact_.

“Anyway… How did you—you know… How did you find me?”

This was a direct question, and this time, Misaki was looking at him. Saruhiko snapped out of his reverie and answered shamelessly “I went through your conversation with that Rikio guy on your laptop.”

“WHAT?!” Misaki gasped violently, his amber eyes widening so much it was painful to look at. Saruhiko hunched, because, really, what kind of reaction was that, and then… “WHY! WHAT THE FUCK SARU! THAT WAS MEANT TO BE PRIVATE!” Misaki went on, his face more and more flushed as he raised a fist and waved it in the air, seeming all worked up.

“What are you even—Misaki—this is…” Saruhiko breathed out, not believing his eyes and ears. Wasn’t the teenager overreacting a bit-way too much? And anyway, he wasn’t going to stand there and being yelled at. These accusations were so unfair. Why would Misaki keep anything private from him and… “WHAT ARE YOU? MY JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND?”

Saruhiko choked on his own breath and his face burnt furiously at that. This time, he was the one to shout, the words escaping his mouth even before he could think of keeping them in: “Oh well Misaki~, so sorry, really, that your long distance girlfriend is better than me!”

He had spat the words so viciously the teenager took a step back, bumping into the closed door. Saruhiko felt so stupid for getting all riled up, he eventually sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Misaki looked like he had been slapped, his mouth gaping and his eyes clearly reflecting how hurt he felt. But then again, he wasn’t the only one to think that way.

“What—what d’ya—what—“ The redhead stuttered, his face now turning the color of ashes.

“Stop stuttering, idiot,” Saruhiko drawled, annoyed. “I didn’t read all of your stupid private conversation, don’t freak out! Your secret affair is safe for all I care,” he added and found out he sounded more bitter than he thought.

“It’s not like that!” Misaki protested with a high-pitched voice. “There’s no—anyway! Don’t assume things on your own, stupid monkey!”

“I don’t assume anything, virgin. You’re just plain obvious!” Saruhiko sighed again, he was getting tired and really moody and his patience was getting thinner.

“I am?!” The words came out strangled and this time, the bogeyman really was fed up.

“Enough. Let’s get out of this closet already.”

“You want to go?” Misaki asked, and seemed somehow relieved they had changed the subject but not that pleased considering the way it turned out.

“Well I’m not staying here all night. Neither are you,” the bogeyman drawled. “And you’re not disappearing back to your room with me either, or you’ll have some trouble explaining this later, won’t you?”

The teenager seemed to think about it then he looked up at Saruhiko with eyes shining with expectations. “Listen—you don’t have to leave. You could stay. We can go to the backyard, okay?”

“Mph! And you’d leave the hot gals behind?” Saruhiko couldn’t help but ask.

He immediately wished he could slap himself right after that. He felt so stupid now, really.

“Will you drop the girls subject already?! I don’t care about them! I care about you right now! And I care about not being seen talking alone. So either you come with me or go back but stop being a dick, Saru,” the redhead frowned and gave him a light kick in the chest. He didn’t look like he was joking.

Saruhiko’s guts twisted again, but for other reasons. He averted his gaze. “Fine. You go grab something to drink and we’ll go to the backyard together.”

Misaki eventually smiled at that and let out a half-whispered “Cool” before he turned and opened the door again, allowing them to return to a less narrow space. And was it necessary? The bigger space was crowded with teenagers half or totally drunk, dancing on some awful music, snuggling each other in corners…

“Really Misaki, is that your kind of party?” Saruhiko asked with a mocking smirk.

“Shut up,” the boy growled back, making his way to the table covered in all kind of drinks.

Saruhiko bent over to take a look at it. “Vodka, beers, cheap whisky… ew. Just… ew.” Misaki elbowed him in the ribs again and snatched two bottles of beers.

“Oi! Yaaaaaaata!” A voice called suddenly behind them and they both turned their backs to the table to see Kamamoto racing toward them, his mummy bandages messed up. “You’re finally here! You should come over here! There are _girls_! And they’re cute! You might want to come~!” The blond boy was breathless, Saruhiko shot him a glance of pure disdain, even though he couldn’t be seen.

“Nah, it’s okay Kamamoto,” Misaki answered, hiding the bottles behind his back, his cheeks covered in a faint blush again. Saruhiko felt something blooming in his chest and found out it was relief. Impulsively, he put a hand on the redhead’s shoulder.

“But you want to forget that girl, dontcha?” Kamamoto _insisted_ and seriously why couldn’t he see he was an annoyance.

“I told you I’m fine,” Misaki sheepishly growled again.

Saruhiko could feel him tense under his touch. This wasn’t the conversation he wanted to have at all. And he didn’t want Misaki to have it either.

“Listen… One of them finds you cute, she wanted me to teeeeell you, Yata!”

This time, Saruhiko could feel Misaki’s body burning from embarrassment. The perks of feeling and absorbing any negative emotions, probably. “Which one,” he heard himself say instead of the teenager.

“Eeeeh?!” Misaki suddenly jerked back and gave the bogeyman a terrified look, then he looked back at Kamamoto with agitation. He looked like a frightened rabbit, cornered by a fox. “It’s—it’s not important!” The redhead said in a hurry, his eyes squeezed shut as he shook his head from right to left fast. Saruhiko couldn’t tell if he was talking to him or the blond boy and he couldn’t care less. He wanted them both to get away.

“Maybe you could…” Kamamoto leant toward Misaki and put a hand around his mouth, whispering like it was the biggest and coolest secret of all times “you could _make out_ with her!”

“Tsk!” Saruhiko had enough, really. Not bothering looking at Misaki’s scarlet face, he left his spot and headed for the nearest way out.

He missed the stuttering mess Misaki turned himself in and, jaw clenched, he yanked the bay window open and closed it behind him. The Guardian had no idea what he was doing. He should have go back upstairs to a bedroom, to the headquarters… Instead he was pacing around the patio, spotting a couple eating each other’s mouth in the dark at the back of the backyard. He was seriously thinking about casting one of his most scary illusion for them when the bay window opened again and someone almost bumped into him.

He looked above his shoulder and saw no one. Of course. He had to _look down_ , right? And Misaki was there, his face still obviously marked by his heavy previous embarrassment. He looked up sheepishly, the bottles of beers in his hands, and gestured toward an opposite corner to the shameless couple.

“Sorry about that,” he mumbled and headed toward the spot without looking back.

Saruhiko didn’t answer, only following him. What was he supposed to answer anyway? _You’re free to do what you want._ Yeah, well, it was true but the dark spirit hadn’t come all the way here to witness Misaki’s first making out session. He put his hands into his pockets, hunched, and dropped next to the teenager at the bottom of the stairs leading to the furthest part of the yard.

“Do you…” Misaki started, handling one of the bottles to Saruhiko.

Saruhiko shook his head lightly and Misaki put the bottle down on his other side. “Oi, Saru. Why are you all gloomy…” The teenager sounded all but joyful himself. He opened his own bottle and took a sip, his face twisting in a grimace.

“Why do you even drink it if you don’t like it?” Saruhiko asked and leant backward on his hands, looking at the cloudy sky.

“Uh?” Misaki looked from the bogeyman, to the bottle with a puzzled look. “I don’t dislike it, either. No—I—I don’t know.”

“You’re underage,” Saruhiko added matter-of-factly.

“Why do you care about age?” Misaki asked, and it wasn’t angry, or annoyed. Actually, suddenly the glint of interest was back in his eyes and he folded his legs under him. “How old are you, Saruhiko?”

The Guardian’s eyebrows raised high and he craned his head to glance at the red head. The latter was sipping more of the beer, as if it was a reflex, looking expectantly at the bogeyman. It made him smile, although it was a rueful smile.

“I don’t age, Misaki.”

“I figured that. But you must have been a bogeyman for some times. And before that, you were aging. And then you stopped. So you’re old something. Aren’t you?”

Saruhiko chuckled at the frowning boy. “Tipsy already?”

“Uwaa? No! Answer the question stupid Saru!” Misaki groaned, vexed.  

“I was about twenty. And have been a bogeyman for some times now.”

“Like a century?” Misaki asked again with huge eyes and Saruhiko chuckled even more.

“Definitely not. I had a computer and a PDA.”

“Oh… Right. So like… Thirty years? No. When were computers invented?” Misaki wondered out loud.

“I don’t know. But nowadays you can protect them with passwords,” Saruhiko teased.

“Yes! Yes I know that. So nosy people can’t go through your things, ne~ Saru!”

Saruhiko didn’t answer that, the corner of his lips twitching in a sideway smirk. “Less than thirty years,” he said instead.

“How did it happen?” Misaki muttered. He looked highly concentrated. 

Suddenly, Saruhiko remembered a night in the teenager’s room, when he was younger and had asked the same question. This time, his guts didn’t twist but there was an obvious weight on his stomach. “Not answering that.”

“Why!” The red head asked fiercely.

He got up on his knees and leant into the bogeyman. Saruhiko had just enough time to see the empty bottle of beer rolling somewhere toward the edge of the step before the teenager fell against him.

“Sit down, Misaki,” Saruhiko intimated him, trying to balance him the best he could.

“I want to know!” The boy insisted and now he was almost draped all over the bogeyman, his arms circling his shoulders.

Saruhiko could feel the lump in his throat and curse himself for it.

“There are things you don’t need to know,” he drawled, trying to keep some composure.

“But why! I’m not a child anymore!” Misaki protested and his breath tickled Saruhiko’s cheek.

“ _Sit_. _Down_.”

“Why!”

“If you ask _why_ one more time, I’m taking you home and I wake your mother up. See if she likes the fact you’re fucking drinking too much when you can’t hold your liquor yet!”

“Humph!” Misaki closed his eyes and settled for hugging the bogeyman (or resting against him not to collapse on the floor, depending the point of view), nuzzling the dark spirit’s neck. “Not fair…”

Saruhiko shivered, turning his head so Misaki’s nose wasn’t brushing his sensitive skin.

“You’re warm,” Misaki whispered. “Saruhiko.”

“Magic,” the bogeyman replied hoarsely.

He couldn’t help but feel _good_ and think it was _wrong_.

“No. Your aura is warm. It’s you. I like it because I know it’s you.”

“You’re not making any sense,” Saruhiko muttered through his teeth.

“Yes, I do. Not my fault you’re dense. Kamamoto was right.”

“It wasn’t your first beer, was it?” The bogeyman asked, more to change the subject because he was panicking internally than everything else.

“Maybe Kamamoto made me drink a shot of vodka or two before I could get away. Or three. But I drank them super fast to join you, it’s ok,” Misaki answered, hiding his face in the crook of the bogeyman’s neck.

_Shit_.

“No, it’s not. The fastest you drink, the more intoxicated you get! You’re an idiot!”

“But he said it’d give me some courage. He was right. He said if I drank it, I’d man up and go and scoooore tonight,” Misaki went on, mumbling against the bogeyman’s skin, his lips connecting with his neck as he did so.

Saruhiko’s dead heart made something weird inside his chest… Something either bad or good, he couldn’t tell, but the warmth that overwhelmed the bogeyman was enough to burn him. What was that stupid brat talking about now.

Bad. Very bad.

“You’re nowhere near scoring if you’re about to throw up on these girls,” the dark spirit answered for good measure, but his voice was trembling. He wasn’t fooling anyone.

“I don’t care about girls, stuuuu-pid! I told you! God Kamamoto was riiight!”

A pair of lips pecked the side of his neck and Saruhiko’s eyes widened violently. “Mi—Misaki?”

“Umph,” was the half response he got and suddenly, Misaki’s grip around him loosened and the boy slid against him, dropping on the floor like dead-weight. Saruhiko jerked abruptly, bending over the teenager, and found him resting peacefully on the steps, eyes closed and mouth slightly agape. He had somehow passed out on him, but when Saruhiko bent enough to hear him, he found out he was breathing quietly, simply sleeping.

Then, the teenager moved just enough and hit the other bottle of beer. It made it roll, roll and fall over the edge of the step, crashing on the concrete under them in a mess of shattering noises. At that, the two teenagers making out in the dark got out of their hidden place and spotted Misaki immediately.

Saruhiko had already gotten up when they reached him. Something was wrong inside of him, thrumming inside his chest. He felt dizzy.

“Eh it’s Yata,” the boy said with some urgency.

“Who cares Chitose,” answered the girl tagging along with him with obvious annoyance. “Let’s go back!”

And Saruhiko didn’t listen to the rest of the argument because he just ran away, as fast as he could and through the party, desperate to find a bedroom. And when he did, he plunged under the first bed there was and disappeared in a flash, his chest still aching like never in his afterlife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Le voici! The 16yo!Chapter I told you about and now I posted it I think it's not that good! I don't know omg!   
> It's long, very much longer than usual, I hope it's still ok!  
> I don't know! The important thing is to understand that their relationship will now slowly change, I guess. There's something going on between them and it won't stop now Misaki grew up and will grow up more!  
> I hope it was ok *-*  
> Can't wait to hear from you guys and thank you for the adooooooorable reviews on the Valentine's chapter! xx


	10. 16 yo - Cold as marble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I haven’t seen you going much into the Himuka Middle School area lately. I thought you wanted to enlarge your perimeter of action. Are the children behaving too much these days? A pity, really,” the head of the bogeymen took a step forward, eating on his subordinate’s personal space probably on purpose.
> 
> Saruhiko felt cornered and resisted the urge to step aside, his body stiffening. That conversation was going exactly where he didn’t want to, and he suspected that it was exactly where Munakata wanted it.
> 
> “They don’t,” Saruhiko said through his teeth. “I was going to take a look at the area tonight.”
> 
> “Please, do so Fushimi-kun. And have a frightening night.”

Saruhiko was pacing around the headquarters restlessly. Had been for days, actually. Two other bogeymen crossed his path in one of the big corridors and ducked into the first room to avoid him. Saruhiko clicked his tongue in annoyance. He never had the best chemistry with his _colleagues_ , or most of them, but these days, he just felt like he couldn’t deal with anyone more than any other times. And of course, he knew or had an idea why was it that he couldn’t find peace – even in scaring children – at all.

The last Halloween night. More than a month ago… They were nearing the middle of December and he hadn’t visited Misaki since that particular night. It was the longest period without seeing the boy Saruhiko had went through for years.

It felt wrong but he also didn’t know how to deal with what had happen this night. When he thought too much about it, he still felt the burning and tickling sensation creeping up his neck where Misaki’s lips had rested too long.

He could still hear the teenager’s mumbling mess before passing out. And he hated to over-think about it. Because the more he thought about it, the more his guts twisted and the more the guilt crushed him. He had no idea _why_ he felt that guilty but it sure couldn’t be right to feel so many things when thinking about a 16 year old human.

It wasn’t even right to _have feelings_ to begin with, when it came to Saruhiko. So, yes, in a way, the situation was incredibly messed up.

Still, he needed to see Misaki again, to talk with him. Not about that night, maybe. At all, it would be too much complication. But he missed their connection terribly. He _ached_ to see him, to feel that warmth between them… He needed it.

“Fushimi-kun. Does the floor looked not enough polished to your liking?”

“I—” Saruhiko stopped right in his tracks, hand flying to his chest, inside the jacket of his suit to clench where rested the parchment he usually carried with him. At the end of the corridor stood Munakata, his glasses reflecting the cunning spark in his eyes.

“Tsk.” He just didn’t want to deal with his boss now.

“I was told marble when worked at its finest is the smoothest stone there is. It’s also a very fragile one. It looks hard and cold but in its core, it’s nothing else than a delicate and sensitive matter,” the head of the bogeymen went on as he strode calmly toward his best element.

His mouth was only a thin line of which the corners subtly twisted upward. “You’re not lecturing me about being a piece of marble myself, are you, Sir?” Saruhiko cringed. Because that metaphor would have been terribly lame.

“Oya! Was I this clear?” The head of the bogeymen didn’t seem annoyed by the idea in the least, though. He pushed his glasses up and stopped at arm-length, his violet eyes gleaming brightly in the relative light of the corridor. “Anyway. It won’t change the fact that you’ve been pacing up and down like a caged lion all day. And by day, I mean any random day between today and about the ten last ones. Is something the matter, Fushimi-kun?”

Again, the perceptive eyes seemed like they were scanning him like X-rays. It was the most uncomfortable feeling Saruhiko could think of at the moment. Except for the feeling of missing Misaki’s presence so much it felt like his chest was crushed to the point of making him breathless.  Well, there was that too.

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” Saruhiko answered too fast and in a too-defensive tone to sound honest.

“Maybe not with you. But you must know there’s something wrong with suppressing your feelings and allowing the darkness resulting from it to gnaw at your Center, of course. You ought to know the magic is easily affected by emotions since you feed on them to keep it alive. Yours are as important as others’, Fushimi-kun,” Munakata said in his cool and serious voice.

Saruhiko averted his gaze, biting his lower lip to prevent an _nth_ tongue-clicking.

“I haven’t seen you going much into the Himuka Middle School area lately. I thought you wanted to enlarge your perimeter of action. Are the children behaving too much these days? A pity, really,” the head of the bogeymen took a step forward, eating on his subordinate’s personal space probably on purpose.

Saruhiko felt cornered and resisted the urge to step aside, his body stiffening. That conversation was going exactly where he didn’t want to, and he suspected that it was exactly where Munakata _wanted_ it.

“They don’t,” Saruhiko said through his teeth. “I was going to take a look at the area tonight.”

“Please, do so Fushimi-kun. And have a frightening night.”

His boss turned his back on him with a pleased smile and walked away. Saruhiko found himself trembling slightly, the longing in his chest having increased.

The dark spirit swore under his breath and almost ran to his room, opening the door a little too harshly. He definitely closed it harder than needed and he leant against the panel with a sigh. He needed to see Misaki, tonight. Stop hiding. There was no need. The teenager had been too drunk, so what? It was stupid to act on such a little thing… Saruhiko knew it very well. That’s why the bogeyman strode to his bed, looking at the sheets with something weighting on his stomach, and crouched.

He took a deep breath and plunged under it, visualizing a place he knew by heart.

The second after he opened his eyes and made a move to get out of it and…

Saruhiko’s eyebrows merged together. He crawled out of under the bed and looked around him. Slowly, he unfolded his limbs, getting on his feet with a puzzled expression. _What had just happened?!_ He looked at the dark bedsheets, a traitorous and cold feeling running down his spine. He crouched and looked under the bed thoroughly. No, no way in hell!

He was looking under _his own bed_. He had crawled out of under _his own bed_. In his own very room. Not in Misaki’s.

It was absolutely impossible and the next second, he dived under it again, closing his eyes and thinking only about Misaki’s place, Misaki’s face and… When he opened them, he was looking at the opposite wall of his room. Again.

This time, when he got on his feet, he felt like throwing up, a cold sweat running down his spine. He had to sit at the edge of his neat bed, feeling terribly dizzy. Saruhiko took several deep breaths to cool down. It wasn’t happening.

It wasn’t happening in hell.

When he was able to think coherently again, he drew out his rolled-up parchment and opened the seal. He found Yata’s name easily but the tight grip on his chest didn’t loosen a bit. Next to it, he could read two names: Minoru and Megumi. Misaki was nowhere to be seen.

The parchment landed on the floor when Saruhiko threw it away as if it was a poisonous snake. He looked at it as if it was the worst threat he had ever faced. As if it was ready to attack him, a second time. Nausea rose up at the back of his throat and the dark spirit made his best to breath in and out slowly.

It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t happen. Misaki couldn’t forget about him in just more than a month. Not now, not after all this time, not with their connection. And here he was, panicking, and trying not to tear his bat-shaped bow to pieces. The Guardian retrieved the parchment and put it back into the pocket inside his jacket.

Keeping his hands clasped together to prevent them from trembling, he decided he better move again and crawled under the bed, thinking of a destination this time, but not a face.

The next second, he appeared in another room than his own and felt a bit of relief wash over him. Still, it wasn’t enough. He was in Misaki’s house, that he was sure of. He unfolded his limbs again and get out of there the most silently possible, looking behind him immediately. A child was sleeping on a little bed. Misaki’s old bed, Saruhiko recognized it. But the boy in it was his little brother.

He was sleeping carefully and the bogeyman didn’t disturb his sleep, didn’t even try to give the child any nightmare, though his strength was slowly leaving him. His eyes weren’t shining as bright as they usual did. His own fear was gnawing at his Center, just like Munakata had said.

Slowly and silently, Saruhiko left the room and found himself in a corridor. He knew Misaki’s house enough for the times they have wandered around the place late at night. He stopped in front of the teenager’s door with a weight crushing his chest. His hand wasn’t steady when it reached the doorknob, nor when it turned it. Saruhiko was terrified. He just realized it.

Then the door flew open. And darkness welcomed him.

Saruhiko tumbled forward, trying to find any emotion, any sign of a human presence. He felt nothing but cold and emptiness.

Closing the door, a headache starting to pound behind his eyes, he had to search for the light and flick it on, too weak to see in the dark by now.

The sight welcoming him was his worst nightmare. The room was empty. _Empty_. Not empty of Misaki only. Empty of Misaki’s everything. Only sat in a corner two boxes. No furniture, nothing else. Saruhiko fell to his knees in the anguish of loss, unable to stay up any longer. He didn’t even feel sick any more. It was way beyond that, a lot worse. The pain was tearing him apart mercilessly.

He couldn’t think straight, wasn’t even aware of the fact that he was panting… The dark spirit trembled, the panic overflowing him. That was the end. Misaki had move out. He had left and there was nothing left. Not even a name on a parchment because he didn’t even believe in him anymore. Saruhiko had been wiped away from the boy’s existence and _vice versa_. All he could do was to learn and accept it. He thought he wasn’t able of doing such a thing because he found out he had eventually ended up convincing himself that day would never come.

The Guardian had to collect himself, else he would fall apart right here, on the floor of the room where he had witness Misaki growing up into being a young man who didn’t believe in spirits anymore. Who didn’t believe in Saruhiko anymore.

It took him forever to get on his knees and draw himself off the floor. He had to head back to the headquarters if he wanted to make it through the night. The bogeyman just wondered if he wanted to. Maybe it was pointless now.

He couldn’t think of any reason to keep doing that now he had lost the most precious thing he could think of. Saruhiko would never find that warmth in any other child. He didn’t want to. He wanted Misaki, only. And he was too late. Survive this seemed beyond his power.

The dark spirit looked up, directly at the window, remembering a time he had hugged the teenager then fell into nothingness, holding the boy tight and landing on the powdery snow. This day, Misaki had left a sticky note on the window for him. Saruhiko could still see it, even now.

Then he frowned and snapped out of it. He _did_ see it! And for sure hallucinations weren’t a part of the perks of losing his powers. Before he knew it, the bogeyman was back on his feet and his knees supported him enough for him to bounce on the windowsill and retrieve a sticky note. A new one.

There was a single address on it. That and a tiny drawing in a corner. A little _monkey_. It was messy and not the finest art but it was recognizable enough. Saruhiko held on the note tight, his legs trembling. There was a chance!

The relief was almost unbearable this time. Misaki hadn’t forgot about him. He had moved out but he hadn’t forgot. He still believed in him, still wanted him to be found late at night by a dark spirit with a messed-up mind. Saruhiko bit on his tongue hard, almost drawing blood, to keep the emotions overwhelming him inside.

The way back to the boy’s room felt like a daydream. He barely registered it and just realized when he needed to crawl under the bed and disappear. Which he did, reappearing in his own room in the mansion.

There, even though his power was endangered, Saruhiko felt all the possibilities that had been taken away from him give him enough hope to stand without tripping. He didn’t want to waste any time and was crouching almost immediately, reading over and over the note which he folded in his hand and then plunged under his bed, a lump in his throat and a terrible weight on his stomach.

Just some seconds more, then he would meet Misaki again. Everything was going to be okay, again.

He closed his eyes and crawled.

When he opened them again, he thought he might be wrong. He thought he was too weak and had been mistaken but no. He was facing his own wall. In his own room. Again.

“No.” He choked on the word and resist the absurd urge to curl on himself.

The bogeyman drew out his parchment, checking on the new address and the ancient name. There was none, still no well-known name. Nor any new address. How even? A manic and strangled laugh escaped his mouth.

Saruhiko turned and readied himself to dive back. He could hear footsteps as if in a distance, but couldn’t identify them. He was feeling dizzy again. The Guardian felt like he was losing a part of himself and he clung on the note. He thought he was crouching again but he dropped on his knees against his own volition. One last time… He had to try again… One last—

Saruhiko tried to reach under the bed, extending an arm. He saw his own fingers trembling before him and he closed his eyes. He could make it.

He found enough strength to do so, only seeing Misaki’s beautiful face printed at the back of his eyelids. But when he cracked his eyes open again, the dark spirit was still sprawled on the floor of his room. Something was boiling inside him while a deadly cold ate into his skin.

His whole body started to shake and Saruhiko heard again the footsteps, though now they seemed like a noise fading in the distance. The buzzing in his ears was too strong.

He thought he heard someone screaming through it, didn’t realize it was him and soon everything was over.

Saruhiko braced himself and welcomed the darkness the moment the door of his room burst open. Seems like it wasn’t worthy in the end…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I'm sorry! Please don't try to find me I promise I'll update this soon and you won't have to threaten me *-* Sorry for the angst, it had to happen!  
> You'll understand everything there is to understand with the next chapter!  
> See you very soon x


	11. 16 yo - Warm as us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misaki.
> 
> The dark spirit stopped shuddering. He closed his eyes and this time, it wasn’t the guilt that crushed him but the pain. There was no point in telling the truth now. There was no point in explaining Munakata that a path of light no more existed for him, now that he remembered it.

There was something sitting on Saruhiko’s chest. Something heavy, something that made it difficult to breathe. It was overwhelming, crushing him mercilessly. He floated in the darkness, he should have felt light, he should have found peace. Yet this thing was bothering him. More than that, he was lost and weighted down. Maybe the dark spirit was drowning in something darker than himself… And all he could do was to wait, for some warmth. Something that, he felt it in his bones, he would never feel again.

For the second time in years, Saruhiko fell down the stairs. For the second time in years, he couldn’t open his eyes anymore.

 

That lasted an eternity. An eternity of nothing, of emptiness. He couldn’t see, couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t move, he was nothing more than a spirit and all he felt was that weight. He couldn’t think about it clearly, knew it was just a state and that, maybe, it was better than just suffering. Saruhiko was lost, would eventually lost himself in that black hole… Until something flickered. Something blue.

It was shy, at first, barely there but dancing anyway and far away like a gas lamp in a Victorian street; hiding in the London fog.

Then the glow got bold and evolved into a graceful flame. It was cold but powerful. For the first time, Saruhiko, although the weight remained on his chest, felt somehow safe. He felt like there was a new force invading him, no longer wandering in that empty hole and unable to reach anything. The flame had reached him, and so he could stop wandering.

It happened fast, from there. His clouded mind hadn’t a chance to get prepared. Suddenly there was light, real light again and his eyes flew open, a storm in them.

The crushing sensation in his chest was now a fire, and it consumed itself as the dark spirit retrieved his senses all at once. He heard himself suck in his breath then pant, as if he had been drowning and had been pulled out of the water at the last second. It burnt in his lungs while he was freezing outside, but he was alive. At least, as alive as you could be when you were a Guardian with no beating heart.

Bit by bit, his surroundings appeared to him more clearly, every sensation, every fact, every piece of the puzzle that surrounded him.

Saruhiko realized he was lying on a soft surface. His back didn’t hurt from it, though his whole body felt sore like never in his afterlife. Above him stood the canopy of his four-posted bed, dark and plain. And a head. A _head_ was above him, too.

Afraid he couldn’t open them anymore if he did, Saruhiko unconsciously resisted the urge to blink when he identified said head.

Munakata Reishi, the head of the bogeymen, was hovering over him like a threatening silhouette, though Saruhiko could see the usual little smile cracking his boss’ mouth.

The first human thing he did as a reflex, after panting hard, was to click his tongue. Now he could shut his eyes, and he did it forcefully, his jaw clenching when he felt the pounding behind his eyes.

“Welcome back, Fushimi-kun. You made it through the night,” the measured and cool voice announced.  “Actually, you made it through fortnight, but the essential is that you’re back.”

A cold wave washed over Saruhiko suddenly, his blue eyes widening painfully (almost everything was definitely very painful and real now). _Fortnight?_ He had heard correctly, right?

“What do you mean? What—” he started, trying to sit, but Munakata pushed him back against the pillows, with a sort of gentle but firm force.

“Please remain calm, Fushimi-kun. Your powers are still weakened and though your condition isn’t critical anymore, your Center is still fragile.”

Saruhiko could feel it, he didn’t need anyone to point the obvious, yet hearing it made him shudder. He closed his eyes again, ordering him to take a couple of deep breaths before he said hoarsely – _and damn, his throat was sore too and he was croaking ridiculously_ – “What happened?”

He could remember the terror, the cold, the pain, then the crushing weight… But that was it. Somewhere, somehow, he had fallen downstairs once again and that was it. After that, there was a block.

“We found you lying on the floor, under your bed. You were still trying to connect with the path under it but your powers had been drained. It was clear you had passed out the moment I opened the door. I happened to be walking in that corridor when I felt the atmosphere turning cold as ice. You turned everything into darkness around you and then it simply vanished,” Munakata explained, sitting at the foot of the bed and looking straight at his subordinate. “If I may ask, _what happened_ , indeed, Fushimi-kun? You weren’t in your best shape the first time I spoke with you but you sure had enough power to go through a couple of nights, even without visiting any child.”

Not knowing why, Saruhiko felt a lump forming at the back of his throat. What had happened! And why couldn’t he remember? And why his boss seemed to know but, as always, kept his little secrets?

“Should I have some more information,” _here they were_! “Would it be wise to help you remember?” the head of the bogeymen then asked.

Saruhiko felt his face heating uncomfortably. Whatever it meant, it was related to the guilt that weighted on his guts, he was sure of it. And, clearly, Munakata thought so too, because his knowing smile turned a bit rueful. “I’m concerned about your comings and goings. There are many rules tied to a Guardian's fate, but I do not recall any that address bonding with a human as you have done.”

This time, Saruhiko choked. The overwhelming feelings was back. “Fushimi-kun…” His boss seemed weary. He drew a parchment out of his pocket. Saruhiko’s. Then he broke the seal and opened it. His violet eyes ran along the roll and stilled. “I would not go so far as to advise against your repeat visits to that place, but I would strongly caution against carelessly endangering your powers. As I believe I have already mentioned some time ago, you are a free spirit. The night I took you in, I did not imprison you, nor is this condition a cage. You’re free to come and go as you please. Nonetheless, I believe it is important to remind you that you do have a place to belong. That place is meant to give you strength. We, Guardians, are meant to help each other, the way we all did when we found you. Thus, despite having the freedom to wander in the human world and make use of these great powers, you cannot forget that you are meant to be a spirit of the night with duties and needs first. There will be consequences to your acts, no matter which path you take. Your role as Bogeyman does not prevent you from taking a path of light, but you will not be able to feed on light alone.”

Time seemed to freeze there, in this very room, as Munakata rolled the parchment again and abandoned it on the sheets within his subordinate’s reach. Then he got up and tilted his head slightly to the side, observing Saruhiko. But Saruhiko didn’t look back. He looked through his boss.

His speech had rang a bell. It had turned the light on again. Everything came back all at once, striking the bogeyman like a lightning-bolt. He couldn’t move anymore, because he _remembered_. He remembered what had happened. And along with it, Munakata’s words resounded in his veins. They echoed so many feelings Saruhiko had drown in these past months and years.

“I’ll let you think about it, now.” Munakata’s voice came back again, light and contained. Saruhiko didn’t trust himself enough to look up at him. “Dusk is upon us. You should use your strength to visit some children on the top of your list and regain what you still lack to face the truth, Fushimi-kun. Then, I’m afraid I have to insist: no matter which path you take, you’ll have to order your priorities from time to time.”

With that, the head of the Bogeymen turned and retreated toward the door, his hand sliding over one of Saruhiko’s bed post. The latter realized only when the door closed behind his boss that he was shaking like a leaf.

Flashes of red had danced in front of him all this time, and now he saw them clearly. They sparked brighter when the guilt was stronger, and were accompanied by a beautiful smile he knew so well when he remembered Munakata’s words. If he wasn’t mistaking, his boss had just revealed how much he knew – and visibly he knew all along – but also that it was ok for him to go and visit so many times Misaki.

Misaki.

The dark spirit stopped shuddering. He closed his eyes and this time, it wasn’t the guilt that crushed him but the pain. There was no point in telling the truth now. There was no point in explaining Munakata that a path of light no more existed for him, now that he remembered it.

Saruhiko felt hollow and sore when he hopped off the bed. His movements were stiff when he snatched the unsealed parchment and opened it. He considered the option to get out of the room for a moment. But what if he walked on another bogeyman? By now, he understood clearly they had done the same thing for him than they had done for Enomoto once. Sharing their power, their magic, to help a fellow to _make it through the night_.

What if they expected something from him? Saruhiko have asked for nothing, remembered clearly how he thought it wasn’t worthy, even. But he also remembered how the bogeymen had been concerned by Enomoto’s state, how they had been excited when he had returned to them and how Enomoto had _thanked_ them. Saruhiko hadn’t understood any of it and had sat in a shadowy corner all the time. When Enomoto had thanked him eventually, he had ran under a bed to find some child to scare.

No, in the end, there was no good reason to bond with a human to begin with, for the simple reason than he didn’t understand humans. He hadn’t understood them when he lived, and now all he had learnt from them was the fear, the terror and the sorrow, all the anguish he could feed on. Any other interaction was pointless with humans, and with the other bogeymen, it had to be practical, logical, clear of any emotions.

Then Misaki had stepped in, and Saruhiko had discovered so many new things. New emotions, new feelings, other than terror and still not unpleasant, because they fed his own emotions… Because Misaki had a Center. And they had something. But again, that was before. Now it was pointless.

From now on, Saruhiko would make it through the night endlessly, make it through the endless night. Not so much different from before, except now it would be bitter too.

He decided he couldn’t face the other spirits now and unrolled the parchment, pointing at a name at random somewhere. A name he didn’t remember, and maybe it was new… After all, it had been around two weeks.

Mere minutes later, the bogeyman, in his usual striped suit and bat-shaped bow, cleared his throat and plunged under his bed.

 

He appeared under another one in a blink and crawled out of under it with the same ease as usual. At least he was still capable of being a proper dark spirit. Though, as he found out once he got up, there was no one to scare. The two-bed room was empty. Saruhiko sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with something more than simple annoyance. He could swear… The first child he’d see, he’d give him enough nightmares for a lifetime of therapy.

Moreover, the room was terribly warm, and the Guardian could feel all kind of good vibes coming from the open door.

And _that_ was surprising. An open door? Just as he thought about it, he heard light taps on the floor. They were fast, and soon he identified them as a socked-feet pace. Two children, he was sure of it, and they soon jumped in the room and closed the door behind them, giggling. Saruhiko was in their back, when he heard one of them say “I’m sure I saw him!” and the other answer “I don’t believe you! Nobody ever saw Santa! You’re telling lies again Norito!” Then they hurried back under the covers, still arguing.

And that’s when Saruhiko stepped out of the shadow, his jaw dropping. _It couldn’t be_ … He thought as the two children screamed from sheer terror at the sudden appearance.

Then the shouts snapped him out of his reverie and he clicked his tongue. He hadn’t cast any spell and he could already hear a parent calling one of the children’s name. _Shit_!

Without thinking twice, Saruhiko disappeared under the bed again, noticing absent-mindedly that his eyes shone a bit more, suddenly.

 

He was back in his room immediately, and stayed on the floor, his back against the side of his bed, as he tried to figure out what had just happened. Then he made a quick calculation. Fortnight. The night he had almost disappear… It was almost the middle of December… It was possible in the end. Tonight was Christmas!

That idea seemed totally alien. It was so not his luck!

Of course, he had terrorized the two little kids just now but kids were a lot less receptive to nightmares and hallucinations at nights like this one. The bogeyman growled and covered his eyes. He couldn’t pick them randomly if he wanted to regain all his powers quickly.

Munakata, as always, was right in the end and it was kind of boring. Saruhiko would have to look at the top of his list, to find the nastiest children possible. The one that misbehaved so much _Santa_ sure never came for them. The dark spirit clicked his tongue again and retrieved his parchment.

This time, when he opened it, he took a real and good look at it. Straight at the top of the list. Where he would find fuel. He needed children bad enough to feed him for nights. Bad like the one whose names were written in red, unmerciful ink. Children like this Yata, Misaki.

Saruhiko was aware of a _pang_ ringing loudly somewhere.

He also felt the blow in his chest, at the same time.

So short, so brief, he wondered if he hadn’t dreamt it.

It was a good thing he was sitting on the floor, or else his legs would have given out under him. Because his eyes were fixing the same words, over and over. The same name.

 _Yata, Misaki_. In bright red. At the top of the list, shining boldly, like a mockery. It couldn’t be. It simply couldn’t…

But Saruhiko didn’t stay there, on the floor, to argue with himself about it. As if he could stay a second more in this place, wondering, choking and hands almost tearing the parchment apart.

It took him a flash to crawl under the bed, after taking in the new, foreign address. Just a flash to crawl and reappear under a bed that sure wasn’t _his_. In a room that sure wasn’t _his_ , either.

What happened in his chest at this moment would make him question if his heart was really dead, later. But for now, he just bolted out of the hidden place and straight into the room, dizzy and disoriented, his hears buzzing and his throat dry like sandpaper.

It hurt. But he couldn’t care less. He couldn’t care less.

Saruhiko couldn’t care less about all these little details that made him feel so odd, because he was standing in a room he didn’t know and before him… As stunned as he was, stood _Misaki_.

 

The flashes of red danced again before Saruhiko’s eyes, but this time they weren’t some kind of product of his imagination. It was the red hair he had grown so familiar with that danced in the air as Misaki snapped out of his trance to bounce on the bogeyman.

The Guardian’s jaw might have been knocked by his forehead at some point, and the landing on what looked like a futon was so hard it knocked Saruhiko’s breath away, but it didn’t matter. For, now, he was lying on his back, looking at a new celling, Misaki, alive, breathing and seemingly full of life, sprawled on top of him, hugging him in a bone-breaking embrace.

Himself couldn’t move a bit, his body unable to respond, along with his brain. Saruhiko just laid there, unmoving and trying to make something of all the emotions submerging him at the same time. It was terrifying. That’s all he thought. Thus, when Misaki moved away – Saruhiko caught a glimpse of a very, very flushed face – he felt relieved, somehow.

Yet he still didn’t move. Not when Misaki dropped somewhere near him, sitting on the floor, his voice teary when he called “Saruhiko? I—I can’t believe… I thought…”

The relief, and then the pain receding… But also so many things Saruhiko couldn’t deal with. He needed a clearer approach, he needed space, and he needed to figure what was happening to him. _He needed to get off the floor_. That’s what he did, not looking at Misaki a second. It was still too unreal, too dangerous. What if it wasn’t true, what if it was a trick of his sick mind?

Misaki got to his feet too, close enough for Saruhiko to notice, obviously. It _felt_ unreal, and yet he knew. _He knew…_

“I thought you had—” Misaki choked on the words, he seemed angry, or happy. Maybe it was both. “I thought you had disappeared.”

Then Saruhiko looked up, and directly at the teenager as if it was the first time he saw him. He took a plain sight of Misaki – took a full embrace of that sight; those huge amber eyes, sparkling with life in that beautiful face. The red hair that he wore shorter than when he was a kid. The delicate mouth that could offer smiles more blinding than the sun himself. Nothing had changed since last Halloween. Misaki was still the same. _I thought you had disappeared._ And suddenly, a burst of irrational anger sparked in Saruhiko.

Before he knew it, Saruhiko was baring his teeth dangerously, his features sharpening, his hands spamming suddenly looking like claws. He looked like a predator, ready to deliver the final blow and kill his prey. No surprise Misaki stepped back, though tentatively, a clear look of incomprehension on his face.

“Saruhiko?” He called again and finally, Saruhiko could feel it. It was everywhere around him. The fear. Misaki’s fear. Something he hadn’t taste in years. It was there, thick and pouring out of the boy directly for him to devour. “Sa—”

“ _You_ thought _I_ had disappeared?” Saruhiko was still able to speak, as he found out at this occasion. He took a step forward, toward the boy. “Let me guess… _You_ were afraid, Misaki? _You_ are relieved? _You are the one who went through hell?!_ ”

When the last word died to let an eerie silence take over the place, Saruhiko was almost plastered against the teenager and one of his hand looked ready to strangle that delicate throat. His eyes were so bright, shining in a terrifying way, he could see like in broad daylight despite the fact that the room was poorly lit.

And all he could see was Misaki’s face, so close. So close. The last time it had been close like that…

Saruhiko felt the skin of his neck prickle. He gasped. As soon as it had appeared, the irrational anger receded. His piercing eyes focused on the amber ones. They were full of tears.

Suddenly, he wanted to curse the boy for existing and to keep him close forever all at once. The newcomer annoyance, the anger and the relief were fighting too much within him and he couldn’t bear to look at Misaki longer. Instead he turned abruptly away from him and strode toward the futon he had landed on.

Now he could take a look at the place. It wasn’t a bedroom, it was a tiny apartment, with a single door probably leading to a bathroom. A bed sat in one of the corners of the room, a kitchen draped the opposite wall. A poor looking coffee table occupied another part, next to a closet against which was propped Misaki’s skateboard. The one Saruhiko had once offered him. Then there was that futon, folded hastily, on with Saruhiko dropped, sighing.

He was still weak, despite all the power he had just gained, and felt like an idiot, being all the more annoyed.

For a moment, the eerie silence engulfed them and all he could do was to hide his face in his hands. The fear around him was disappearing, replaced by other emotions. All Misaki’s. He hated to admit it at the moment, but he had missed them so much, for they belonged to him.

He identified the guilt and the wonder emanating from the boy. Saruhiko wasn’t surprised to hear him ask questions soon after. But first, Misaki walked toward him and sat carefully at a reasonable distance.

“You couldn’t find me?”

Saruhiko waited a bit more before removing his hands. He looked sternly at the teenager, realizing he didn’t want to have this talk. And still he wanted to be here, to be near him. He forced himself to form the words: “ _You_ disappeared. I tried to come a couple of weeks ago but—”

The bogeyman broke off, looking away on purpose. It wasn’t easy. But again, he didn’t expect it to be easy.

“I moved out.” Misaki gave that explanation very calmly, like it hadn’t be the end of the world, that terrible night. “My parents… It wasn’t working anymore. So I moved out. But I left a note. For you.”

This time, there was something in Misaki’s voice and Saruhiko understood the teenager _tried_ not to sound like he was blaming him. The dark spirit didn’t feel like being angry anymore.

“I saw it. But when I tried to reach that place, it didn’t work. You weren’t—” _Dammit, it was hard to say it even now_! “You weren’t on the list anymore. What happened?” It sounded too much like a plea to Saruhiko’s liking but it was too late.

“I don’t know! I never left that place since I moved in. It was like… Three weeks ago? But I expected you to come, even though you hadn’t shown up since Halloween…” Again that effort not to sound like he was blaming him. “I didn’t left the place, staying almost all day here, and all night! The only time I really left was when Kamamoto helped me to furnish it! I moved out so fast… I took only my clothes and my skateboard. Things like that,” Misaki explained again.

He looked sheepish now, and a bit embarrassed maybe, rubbing the back of his neck, like he always did. Saruhiko felt the urge to get closer to him. But Misaki went on: “It was terrible! I’m fucking glad I did it, but it was wild! And you weren’t coming, I started to freak out, alone in this place! I didn’t even have a bed!”

Saruhiko’s sharp intake of breath matched Misaki’s widening eyes.

The boy shut his mouth, looking like he was having an attack, staring back at the bogeyman who felt like the floor was opening under him. _I didn’t even have a bed._

“You what?” he muttered, out of breath.

“I—I—Saru…”

Saruhiko jerked his hands so hard to cover his face this time, that he kind of slapped himself. And, basically, that was what he wanted to do, and what he needed to do if he didn’t want to slap Misaki instead. All he wanted to say was…

“I’m an idiot!” Which is what Misaki said in his stead. The boy sounded horrified enough for Saruhiko to look at him again.

There was so many things the bogeyman wanted to say. How he had almost lost it that night, how he thought it wasn’t worthy to live on if he lost their connection, the pain… Instead he settled for a long-suffering look and a “Idiot doesn’t even begin to describe you.”

For good measure, he punctuated it with a half muttered, half groaned “I hate you”, that made Misaki blush furiously.

Then the boy stuttered, pointing at the place Saruhiko sat on: “I was sleeping on that futon. I had… I had no idea! I thought since you had the—the add—address…”

“That I could walk in and say hi?” Saruhiko cut him off, in utter disbelief and Misaki’s face turned to scarlet. “Seriously Misaki! You weren’t on the list anymore! I thought you didn’t _believe_ in me anymore! And you waited for me to knock at your door? How stupid can you—” Again he broke off, out of words. This was so stupid! He just couldn’t believe it!

Misaki looked like he wanted to disappear from the surface of the planet forever. Maybe Saruhiko wanted to do the same thing.

That’s why he decided now wasn’t the time to explain exactly what had happen to him. He would, eventually, maybe, though it sounded less and less appealing to share that, if it had been at some point… Misaki, poor little Misaki, was looking at everything around the place but the bogeyman.

“It was—I had this huge argument with my parents after the party and I—I already wanted to leave… But it got nastier after that and—and then—then I left but I didn’t think things through…”

“Sounds like something you’d do, indeed,” Saruhiko felt the need to add.

Misaki glared at him, but he was still terribly flushed. He was glowing, actually. The heat was pouring out of him, now. The warmth made its way toward Saruhiko. It felt so precious, Saruhiko had missed it so much. He needed to fight the storm of emotions coming back. And he knew only one way to do so; teasing Misaki to no end.

“Did mommy and daddy scold you because you drank too much?”

At Saruhiko’s surprise, Misaki didn’t blush more. His look was more like sad, not even annoyed. He nodded and looked away. “We don’t see things the same way. Hadn’t for an eternity now… And that time was—well I guess it was too much for them. Maybe I overdid it, too, I dunno.” Misaki sighed and shook his head. “I can’t remember shit about that night. I mean, after the moment you arrived. I know we went to the backyard but then I forgot everything. I was so drunk…”

Misaki blushed again furiously, avoiding Saruhiko’s gaze and got to his feet to stride toward the kitchen. There, he poured himself a glass of water, leaving the dark spirit with these new facts to digest.

“For a moment I—I thought I had done something wrong that night and that was the reason you wouldn’t show up here.”

Like an automaton, Saruhiko got to his feet again. He tried to process all these information, what all that mess meant and tried not to slap himself hard for half disappearing because he couldn’t handle his own emotions when there was nothing to handle to begin with.

He was just aware that, despite everything, _everything_ , he felt warm. Again. And that was right. That helped him walk toward the boy, stop by him… Snatch the glass of fresh water and lean. That also helped him when he brought the glass above Misaki’s head and tilted it, pouring it directly over him.

“Hush now, or you’ll burn with shame, Misaki~!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The resolutioooooooooooon!  
> No, Misaki wasn't dead! *-* I hope you won't be disappointed! But somehow, I feel like this version fits more! Like Misaki just didn't think of the bed because he's so used to Saruhiko and left the note so he thought he'd come by and just knock at the door like anyone, all because he thinks things adorably simply <3  
> I really hope you'll appreciate it! It was also important to show that part with Munakata, a lot of readers asked me already if there were rules, if it was ok this relation for the head of the bogeyman... Here is a start for an answer! And speaking of Munakata, I need to thank SilverThunder a lot! She edited his dialogue, because I admit I was struggling to make him sound like... himself! Thank you so much for your help!  
> Also, the skateboard offered to Misaki by Saruhiko is part of the side stories I started to post here on this site too, if you haven't read it yet :)
> 
> Thank you all for the amazing support! I'll see you very soon again I hope!


	12. 17 yo - To be your controller B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t—Saru, what is this even about?” Misaki was a stuttering mess, chocking on the words and blushing like never. Then something suddenly struck him and he stopped mid-words, giving Saruhiko a suspicious look. As if he was both embarrassed and victorious, with a serious hint of fury remaining. A colorful mix that amazed Saruhiko enough for him to miss the:
> 
> “Oh my god! Are you jealous?!”
> 
> And Saruhiko realized it just like that.
> 
> Oh yes, he totally was.

Saruhiko glanced at the whip hanging from Andy’s hip and snorted. They all had their own style and, in comparison, Saruhiko was somehow pretty sober with his striped suit and thin leather boots. His bat-shaped bow was the only really fancy item he wore, except for a few things he was hiding, but some of his bogeymen fellows overdid it, in his humble opinion. Like it must have been a _pain_ in the neck, in the ass, -and basically in every _crack_ of your body- for Hidaka to stuff his scarecrow costume with straw. Stupid, only in Saruhiko’s opinion, again. And the newbie of course, like the others, wanted to have his special thing. It had been a whip. But when you knew Munakata held a fucking sword… Nothing could surprise you much anymore.

“How are you doing, Fushimi-san?” Domyoji asked with his eternal joyful voice.

_Annoying_.

Saruhiko glared at him. It hadn’t been a year yet, but they were in October now, since that terrible Christmas break when he had almost disappeared… And all the bogeymen knew better. They hadn’t ask if Saruhiko’s condition was good more than once when the dark spirit had answered with murderous glares. But Andy being Andy, innocent and adorable ( _and what the fuck, wasn’t he supposed to be a nightmare to children?_ ) always wanted to know if Saruhiko was doing fine.

“I can think of a hundred things to do with that whip and so many involve strangulation, Domyoji,” he growled while turning the doorknob of his bedroom.

“Haha,” the ginger head chuckled lightly. “Have a great night, Fushimi-san.” At least Saruhiko had made his point…

“Chock on your spit,” he answered politely nonetheless –because he was so civilized-, and casting one last long-suffering look to the other ever-smiling bogeyman, he closed the door behind him.

Then he grinned. Manically. He was _this near_ to rub his hands together, and forced himself to calm down.

After all, visiting Misaki was normal at this point, right? They had reconciled after that terrible time and things were back to normal. Although… That wasn’t exactly right.

It had taken two months for Saruhiko to completely stop sulking. Not counting the whole month when he hadn’t been able to meet the red-head because he was still weak and really needed to strengthen his Center again. So, yes, basically, they had really started to meet casually again around March (without a Saruhiko sitting on his own, resolutely mute and frowning from time to time next to a Misaki who played video games while doing so strange things…)

_Strange things_. Right. Things weren’t totally back to normal, even now Saruhiko wasn’t pouting in the corner every time they met. Six months of really weird behavior were now on the run.

They always had fun, talked, did stupid things together – and really, it was totally unfair for a Bogeyman to learn so fast how to play video games, according to Misaki, because _what the hell you dead-ass, you’re not even human, how can you win every game?_ – but some part of their time together had changed.

Saruhiko catching Misaki’s burning gaze on him sometimes and Misaki looking away at the speed of light with reddening cheeks was new, for example. The bogeyman had checked, he hadn’t caught a single flu the past six month, so why the red cheeks? Except for all the times he teased him… There was no reason.

Their hands brushing and both of them jumping at the contact was new too. They hadn’t hugged since the time they had made up and Misaki had tackled Saruhiko on the ground. So the real last hug would have been… Halloween. A year ago, almost. Saruhiko’s throat felt dry every time he thought about it, and his hand flew at his neck to scratch the skin lightly like an odd reflex. And now, they didn’t. Hug. Anymore. _At all._

Saruhiko remembered a clingy child, a falsely-reluctant-to-hug teenager but a young man jumping out of his skin every time they brushed fingertips was new. And not very pleasant. He had no idea where it came from or why. Though his mind couldn’t help but wander when it happened, towards trouble waters such as feminine and anonymous silhouettes lying on the same bed they were sitting on at such moments… Or things like that.

There was absolutely no connection, though, right? There wasn’t...? Or so was what Saruhiko hammered in his brain at said occasions. But tonight wasn’t the night to think about it! He hadn’t seen Misaki in two weeks and the last time they had seen each other, Misaki had talked about a new game released just on that day and he was so excited about it, Saruhiko didn’t know if he wanted to roll his eyes hard or laugh at him. He even had thought about stealing said game to some random teenager like he had stolen Misaki’s skateboard years ago… But he already knew Misaki had spared money all month to buy his own so… Yup, he’d behave and just play the game that idiot had bought on his own.

It was a game of clans, ruled by Kings, around a city. You started the game as a member of a clan of your choice and then you fought with others while playing your own route and missions. It sounded pretty interesting, even more considering you could do pretty much all you wanted while interacting with the characters and Saruhiko already knew he was going to cheat and betray everyone to climb to the top. So easy.

Ok, maybe he did rub his hands together in the end just before crawling under his bed, _maybe_.

It didn’t prevent him from reappearing just where he wanted, in Misaki’s bedroom-aka flat.

And what a delight. The sound of the game, loud and promising, welcomed him, as he unfolded his arms gracefully, almost doing a graceful pirouette for his entrance, and…

Froze.

Misaki’s television was one of the rare thing he had bought since he had moved in, and it wasn’t new, but Saruhiko liked it. It handled his console – definitely one Saruhiko had stolen to a very rich, very rotten, and very, very naughty child despite Misaki’s innocent protest – just fine and they would play with it all night, sitting against the edge of the old kotatsu, the folded futon under them.

They would. If they were only the two of them, with two controllers, and no one to annoy them.

So who the fuck was that guy sitting next to Misaki, controller B in hands while Misaki ô-so-happily held controller A, playing _their_ fucking game? _Who_!

A blondie, thin and tall, and sitting so close to Misaki he could just sit in lap while he was at it, goddammit who the hell was he?! Saruhiko needed that answer and he strode towards the kotatsu, his already light footstep totally muffled by the sound of the game going on and…

_Cling_! Made the glass of coke when it hit the surface of the kotatsu and poured its content on the table and directly toward the back leaning against it.

Misaki jerked away at the intruding noise and met Saruhiko’s gaze in the process, shocked twice in a raw and letting the controller go wildly. “Nice throw,” the Bogeyman complimented sternly. But they couldn’t exactly greet each other warmly like that any longer because the blondie boy was already yelling at the cold liquid running down his shirt and back. _Serves them right_.

Thrashing like a mad man, the other young man sent the other controller away and Saruhiko grinned. “Kamamoto, are you alright?!” Misaki asked, sending daggers at Saruhiko with a dark look.

The bogeyman choked on his spit (that must be the Karma) and opened wide eyes.

Kamamoto as in Kamamoto the fat boy who was trying to make Misaki kiss a girl during the Halloween party?

Because the Kamamoto right here, right now, pulling his shirt over his head and remaining half naked in the middle of Misaki’s apartment wasn’t _that_ Kamamoto. That Kamamoto was super thin, super tanned, had super six-pack abs and super shiny long blond hair just _how_!?

Saruhiko would have felt it if he had magical powers or even a center, and he hadn’t!

“What sorcery is this?” the dark spirit asked aloud while Misaki was rushing to the bathroom to throw a towel at the superhot blond guy then grabbing a sponge to clean the coke off the table and floor while _apologizing._

“Don’t apologize Misaki, I’m hundred percent sure I’m not sorry for this,” he commented, still standing in the middle of the room, his focus remaining stubbornly on _Kamamoto the great Illusionist_. The red-head, him, was focused on Saruhiko (at least, and it was a minimum at this point), never losing sight of the dark spirit so he could glare angrily at him.

But then, the worst came when Misaki dropped the sponge and returned to Kamamoto who was trying to clean himself and took the towel in his own hands to wipe at his friend’s back thoroughly. Looking at his friend’s back. With his eyes. _On bare tanned skin_.

That’s the moment Saruhiko realized he was internally boiling and it had nothing to do with the usual warmth they shared. Because Misaki was too stupidly focused on someone else for that! He was wiping the back of that dear someone else!

“Oh yes!” he shouted before he could think twice. “Of course, Misaki! Just take a bath with him while you’re at it! You could even play to your stupid game from the bathroom since that flat is as tiny as your…”

“OH MY GOD, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?” Misaki, blushing furiously from his neck to his hair, shouted, freezing next to Kamamoto.

After that, there was a big, long, disturbing silence. Silence in which the blond guy looked at his host with huge eyes, mouth gaping a bit; Misaki, obviously mortified, looked at the floor like he hoped it would open to swallow him; and Saruhiko looked at him hard and long until he had enough and turned on his heels to go back to the bed.

“Have fun testing that game, Misaki. After all, you’re going to play solo so many nights, right?” He spat, not looking back a second.

Misaki didn’t even answer to him, for his next words belonged to Kamamoto (who was going to need protection because as soon as Saruhiko reached the headquarters, he’d search for his address by all means necessary). “I can’t wipe it all off, it sticks, sorry! Just go to bathroom take a shower or something, will ya?” Misaki was urging him, and, almost too late -since Saruhiko was crouching next to the bed,- a door was slammed shut abruptly.

At least, it made the dark spirit stop what he was doing, and soon a hand was balling into a fist on the back of the Guardian’s jacket to yank him up on his feet. He was also forced to turn and face a very angry seventeen years old Misaki and definitely pushed back forcefully on the bed. Ok. That was a bit wild. And maybe that was a bit deserved, too.

Not that he felt sheepish, but Saruhiko wasn’t too cocky either when he landed hard on the mattress and said “Well… You’re stronger than your eight years old self, right, Mi-sa—“

“Shut the fuck up! What was that?” Misaki asked violently and towering him threateningly. It was almost comical, that way of yelling through his teeth, resulting in a half muttered and enraged rant. Obviously, he wasn’t planning to make a repeat of the previous incident and let Kamamoto hear it.

“What was what? You tell me!” Saruhiko barked back furiously – it wasn’t so funny anymore.

“Are you sick? He can’t fucking _see_ you! And he did nothing wrong, bastard!” Misaki shouted back, again restraining himself as much as he could.

_That_ angered Saruhiko for good, in a total irrational way. “He did—Are you fucking kidding?” His piercing icy blue eyes narrowed dangerously. “Oh Saruhiko, come and play with me that new game, it’s so, so cool! Please Saruhiko,” the bogeyman mimicked him viciously.

“What the hell?! That’s not—That’s not me! I don’t sound like that! I never s—“

“Yes! Right! Tell you that, _Misaki_!”

“I don’t—Saru, what is this even about?” Misaki was a stuttering mess, chocking on the words and blushing like never. Then something suddenly struck him and he stopped mid-words, giving Saruhiko a suspicious look. As if he was both embarrassed and victorious, with a serious hint of fury remaining. A colorful mix that amazed Saruhiko enough for him to miss the:

“Oh my god! Are you jealous?!”

And Saruhiko realized it just like that.

Oh yes, he totally was.

 

After that, the mood changed totally. The time for that realization to sink in, Kamamoto was back in the room, and Saruhiko was so ashamed he felt dizzy and avoided the red head at all cost, but never leaving the place either. He just sat, hunched in a corner of the bed, between the headboard and the wall, totally mute.

Misaki, fed up with the situation and still bright red, turned away to pause the game at first, then turned it off completely, retrieving the controllers to put them back on their shelf, glancing sideway at the bogeyman sheepishly and curiously.

So. Awkward. Saruhiko felt so awkward, and yet he knew there was no way he’d leave. Not with the Greek God currently showering in Misaki’s bathroom. That was seriously disturbing and they couldn’t even share a word, but he stayed stubbornly at his spot, frowning at a random point somewhere in the void before him.

Some noises came from the bathroom eventually, announcing the blond guy’s return, and Misaki looked alarmed. “Please… Just—Just _behave_ ,” he almost pleaded as the door opened and he could be thankful Saruhiko felt so ashamed, otherwise the Guardian would have given him hell for that.

“Aaaaaaaah Yata-san, I really could help a shower! Thank you!” Kamamoto said cheerfully, drying his hair with a towel and – thank the lord – he was _dressed_ in awful sweatpants and a tee-shirt that didn’t suit him at all.

“No prob,” the red head answered, casting afraid glances at the bogeyman still waiting on his bed.

Saruhiko just crossed his arms, trying to look as proud and menacing as he could.

“We should unfold the futon,” Kamamoto offered, dragging said item toward the red-head’s bed to spread it there. “I’m gonna sleep on this.”

Saruhiko couldn’t have stopped it even if he’d wanted, and Misaki groaned at the dark spirit’s “Clever boy.”

“S—sure,” the young man said and he turned the lights off before turning his bedside lamp on. Then he looked at Saruhiko desperately, eyes full of questions.

The bogeyman gave nothing, holding his positions always so stubbornly – maybe just slightly more trying to melt into the wall than before. Thus, Misaki climbed on the bed, already wearing the pair of shorts and the tee-shirt he sometimes fell asleep in when they played too late at night.

Then, he laid down awkwardly next to Saruhiko who was sitting very still. The warmth hit the Guardian hard and he could only welcome the feeling, relishing the heat that spread through his whole body. Misaki must have felt the connection too, because the tension mixed in the atmosphere of the room dropped slightly.

“I have to leave early tomorrow. I’m meeting Ayumi,” Kamamoto explained joyfully.

“Oh, that’s cool,” the red head said, trying to sound as happy.

But he obviously was affected by their proximity, Saruhiko could fell it into his bones. The light of the lamp was soft and the Guardian noted Misaki looked as beautiful as ever. Maybe more. Definitely more, there was something in his features that hadn’t been there years before. It was mesmerizing… If only there wasn’t that shadow in the picture…

“Yeah! She’s cool for sure!” The shadow admitted, shifting on the futon to look dreamily at the ceiling. “You should find yourself one too, Yata-san!”

“One what?” Misaki tensed again, asking the question almost aggressively.

His friend must have mistaken his intentions because he chuckled good-heartedly. “A girlfriend, of course!”

For the second time, Saruhiko felt like he was burning alive, his blood boiling sourly in his veins. He couldn’t help it and left his spot, leaning over Misaki to bend toward the futon, a murderous glare pointed at Kamamoto who laid there so innocently. It was too late to pretend, there was no point in it anymore. His hands cracked when he balled them into fists before spreading his fingers like claws and…

He was abruptly yanked downward. A hand caught one of his wrists and pulled forcefully on it.

Saruhiko almost fell and, disoriented, he gave Misaki a puzzled look. He was genuinely surprised by the gesture, although not that much by the reaction.

Again, he felt like someone had pushed him directly into the pit of a bonfire, realizing Misaki was laying just there, looking up at him with a silent and firm look on his face, a severe look that forbade him to go further. But also a reassuring one. Something that laced in the most exquisite way with the warmth pouring out of the young man.

The bogeyman felt the air leaving his lungs all at once. They were so close. Too close.

“Yata-san?” Kamamoto asked sleepily from the floor.

“Yeah, heard ya. No interested,” Misaki mouthed, never breaking eye contact with the dark spirit.

He looked so determined… Saruhiko was paralyzed.

Kamamoto muttered something again but the bogeyman didn’t hear it because Misaki raised his arms and circled him, pulling him down _entirely_.

_He was definitely stronger_ , was all Saruhiko allowed his brain to notice, as he landed flat against the smaller body.

The arms didn’t abandon him, pulling him in a firm embrace. Yet it was so gentle and caring it made the lump in Saruhiko’s throat hurt terribly.

He was so self-conscious… he couldn’t move as Misaki reached for the lamp on the bedside to turn it off. There was a storm raging inside of him and their connection was so thick he thought he could touch it.

Misaki, Misaki’s center. All his. Just there. Curled up against him. _That_ , he thought, _was something new, too._

“Good night,” whispered a pair of warm lips against his throat and Saruhiko could swear he breathed again only hours after Morpheus had taken Misaki away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sooooo excited! Can you see where we're going? *-*  
> Hope you enjoyed it! I did while writing it :$


	13. 17 yo - In the heart of the bonfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When I told six years old Misaki no one ever hugged me, you were so out of your mind. Then you started trying to hug me whenever we were meeting,” Saruhiko heard himself say matter-of-factly. Misaki looked away, biting at his bottom lip. “That thing, it was going on and on. And then one day it stopped. Last year. Since then, it’s like something is off.”
> 
> He was only stating facts, like his mouth was vomiting the words on its own accord. “Now how is that for a start, Misaki? You wanted to talk because things are different. Otherwise you wouldn’t need it. So talk. Because I’m not going to do it myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FAIR WARNING. Not today but soon enough, a smutty scene should come. After thinking about it a lot, I decided I wanted to make it a part of the main story. Although, it's entirely your right not to like smut! I won't blame you! That's why, when it will happen, it will be in a chapter centered around it and there will be a warning at the beginning of it, in the notes! You will be able to skip it, this way, and wait for the next chapter. I promise you won't miss important informations about the story.  
> It's your choice.  
> That said: Smut isn't happening in THIS chapter and at least not in the next one either :)
> 
> Enjoy today's reading!

Avoiding Misaki was stupid. There were billion of reasons pointing towards that and facts proving it was stupid. Saruhiko should have known that by now. It had always ended for the worst when he did: either his mood dropped drastically (at best), or the consequences could become really tragic (at worst) and disappearing was only one of them. Not counting that he knew it made Misaki sad and angry.

So much trouble, for such a little person.

And yet… Saruhiko knew it was worthy.

It was worthy and the way Misaki had held him down in a tight embrace for hours the night before helped him remember that. The connection between them, the delicious warmth spreading in his chest, stomach and whole body when they were in sync, or just close enough… The blinding smile and the expressive, catching laughter… Everything Misaki was… Everything he had… Everything he shared with Saruhiko, it was worthy.

It was worthy dying on an icy-cold night, taking the risk to fade away to meet him instead of scaring kids.

“Oh god! I hate this idiot,” Saruhiko growled lowly, resisting the urge to lie down flat on his bed to bury his face in the pillows.

It was easy to say such a thing, since he knew pretty much how much of a lie it was.

The fact remained that his cheeks burnt already with shame at the idea of facing him. The previous morning, he had left a still half asleep Misaki before he could really wake up, and before Kamamoto had the time to run for his life.

Saruhiko had stepped over him, poked the forehead of the still asleep blond boy, using a second of distraction from Misaki, to create a really nasty nightmare. No enjoyable sleep in for him. He wasn’t even _that_ pleased. He had just vanished, knowing very well he was leaving behind a furious Misaki coming back to life slowly to curse the dark spirit vividly.

He also knew Misaki was waiting for him to come back. With explanations Saruhiko found out he didn’t even have. Saruhiko had just did what he meant to. He had acted on an impulse, yes, but it still felt more right than wrong to him – and it wasn’t even only related to his inclination for evil doings.

 _Are you jealous_? It rang to his ears again and again. And of fucking course he was. It had been pure jealousy, irrational and motivated by his very own insecurities. Jealousy and possessiveness over him. Over a young man that made him feel emotions no one else did.

Saruhiko suddenly realized he wasn’t lying flat on his bed at all. He was lying flat _under_ the bed. He clicked his tongue in annoyance at himself. Seriously, that level of pathetic was too damn high.

“That’s interesting, Fushimi-kun. Is this a new way to study your preys?”

Fuck. his. miserable. afterlife.

“What’s interesting is your lack of consideration for one’s private life,” Saruhiko drawled back, his head poking from under the bed to glare daggers at his boss standing in the doorway.

“I was only concerned by your activity. Or should I say non-activity, Fushimi-kun. You’ve stayed at the exact same spot for the eight last hours.”

“And since when aren’t we allowed to stay motionless for consecutive hours. Is there a new rule I haven’t heard of?” Saruhiko asked again, feeling really irritated now, but never getting up – and not thinking about the fact he had spent eight hours under his bed without noticing.

Munakata smiled, looking pleased with himself in a way that made his subordinate roll his eyes hard.

“You froze the whole aisle of the mansion, too. That is the concerning part. I just thought I should make sure you were alright. If you need anything, you know…”

“I _need_ you to leave my room now,” Saruhiko dared to answer, turning away to crawl back under the bed like a pouting cat running away from his owner.

“I will in a minute if you reassure me everything is fine,” the head of the bogeymen said, not moving an inch. “Tell me, are you alright, Fushimi-kun?”

“I don’t know if it’s _alright_ , but I’m sure that urge of killing wasn’t there a few minutes ago.”

A silence welcomed these words during which he wondered if he hadn’t been too far and crossed the line. Who knew what Munakata was capable of, after all. He was like the big boss of the bogeymen, like Misaki had said one day, and thus he had immense powers and… patience: “Are you alright, Fushimi-kun?”

“M’fine DAMMIT!” Saruhiko growled, exasperated, from the bottom of the abysses under his bed, with a long-suffering sigh.

“Then have a frightening night!” his boss announced cheerfully.

Saruhiko didn’t quite catch that, since he closed his eyes and vanished without another word.

 

At least, it made him forget for a whole five seconds the shame and the guilt gnawing at him at the sheer idea of facing Misaki. It was back the moment he stepped from under the bed, got up and found the young man alone in the shadows, sitting at the kotatsu and facing the bed, hands clasped together on the hard surface of the warming table. Only the TV was turned on behind him, casting a strange halo around Misaki’s figure. The sound was off, though and an eerie silence filled the room that felt too big for once.

A promising start.

Saruhiko paced toward the kotatsu, not quite reaching it either, stopping in between it and the bed, trying to look unimpressed and as cool as ever. Misaki didn’t tried. He wasn’t good at hiding his emotions and even if he could build a mask enough, the eternal dancing flame in his beautiful hazel eyes always revealed his true feelings.

Right now, the cold tone was part of a raging fire, Saruhiko knew it.

“Sit.”

 _Shit_.

“I’m not your dog.”

Whether he was at fault here or not, the bogeyman didn’t intend to lose to him so easily. He had his pride, thank you very much. Of course, the fiery red head couldn’t care less about his precious pride.

“If you’re not going to sit, I’ll stand up and you won’t like that,” he said, again with that icy tone that made the dark spirit’s stomach twist.

“Oh! You mean you weren’t up already? My bad. But please do, I wonder what difference it will make, really,” Saruhiko bit back, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive way despite his show of confidence.

For the second time this night, he thought he had pushed things too far. A flash of white anger crossed Misaki’s face and he braced himself for the attack.

It didn’t come. Instead, the red head sighed over-dramatically and took his shaking head in his hands. 

When he looked up, straight at the Guardian, the latter knew that whatever was coming was way more important and dangerous than an actual fight. Misaki’s eyes were bright, not with tears, but bright and piercing. Like his own was sometimes.

“We need to talk,” the red head went on, getting up eventually.

He circled the table and started walking toward the Guardian who absent-mindedly stepped back an inch, or two hundred ones. Saruhiko felt incredibly nervous, looking at Misaki moving toward him in his pair of green shorts and his black tank top. The strap on the right shoulder fell over the smooth skin of the red head’s upper arm. Saruhiko started to talk as if someone had turned the automatic mode on.

“We’re already doing that. When your mouth moves like that, and it produces sounds. That’s what talking is, I’m doing it right now,” he couldn’t look away from Misaki, ever closing Misaki who scowled at him.

“Not like that, smartass!” The young man sounded exasperated. “I mean it, Saruhiko. We need to talk!” Now he was all determination, even if a slight blush started to blossom along his cheeks.

Had he lost a bit of weight recently? Saruhiko’s head tilted to the side as he examined the body before him. He wasn’t so short, in reality, and he was thinner now. Yet there were muscles under the pieces of clothing covering him. He wasn’t all flesh and bones like Saruhiko.

He was gorgeous.

“What the fuck was that now?” Misaki groaned, blushing more noticeably, and clearly frowning.

“What the fuck was what?” Saruhiko replied, his chest tightening.

“You said _gorgeous_?” The young man seemed like he couldn’t believe his ears and didn’t believe them, since he frowned harder.

“I absolutely never said that, Misaki,” the bogeyman defended himself while retreating toward the bed once more.

“I think you—“

“That’s not what I SAID!” Saruhiko almost shouted at the same time the back of his knees collided with the edge of the bed.

Misaki stopped and gave him a hard look before shrugging. Then he averted his gaze and did that embarrassed-Misaki thing, rubbing at the back of his neck with a hand. “Anyway. Ain’t matter. Can we talk now?” he then mumbled, stepping aside to reach the bed and drop on it.

There he grabbed his big pillow and hugged it against his chest, legs folded under him. In the process, something was dumped on the floor. Mechanically – and to avoid Misaki – Saruhiko took his sweet time to bend and retrieve the _something_.

He met the glassy eyes of a monkey plush. A familiar one, though the time had worked on it, it still looked more or less the same. Saruhiko’s mouth twitched as he straightened up and turned toward the red head, holding the plushy out for him to see it clearly.

“Can’t sleep without your teddy bear, neee~ Misaki?” He teased him with a feral grin.

Misaki’s face was now adorably flushed and what he mumbled next was lost against his pillow. Saruhiko had to lean to make him repeat.

“Not a teddy bear,” he then heard. “I can’t sleep without my _monkey_.”

Poor monkey plush was dumped a second time as Saruhiko felt the blood rushing to his face. The room, the air, everywhere… It was filled with strong emotions. The heat made the bogeyman’s knees give out under him and he had no choice but to sit next to the younger man.

“We can talk,” he breathed out, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah…”

Then the eerie silence fell upon them again. What a way to start a conversation.

After some time and feeling like he was on the verge of dying from the stress, Saruhiko clicked his tongue particularly loudly before burying his face in his hands, elbows on the knees.

“Sorry…” Misaki’s voice pierced the silence. “I know I’m the one who—who asked to talk but I don’t—I don’t know where to start.”

“Well if it’s about last night,” Saruhiko dropped with a resigned sigh and was cut off immediately.

“It’s not about last night!”

Eventually, the red head dropped his pillow and came to sit closer to the edge. And the bogeyman. “At least not only.”

Saruhiko didn’t need to hear the trembling in the younger one’s voice to feel his embarrassment. It was absolutely all around them. Surrounding them. Thick. And mixed with other things. Saruhiko’s fingers prickled and he uncovered his face to look sideway at Misaki. He wanted to reach him for real, to touch, to connect and belong.

The fact that their thighs were almost brushing wasn’t enough. He needed more. It ached in his chest. In the middle of his ribcage.

“When I told six years old Misaki no one ever hugged me, you were so out of your mind. Then you started trying to hug me whenever we were meeting,” Saruhiko heard himself say matter-of-factly. Misaki looked away, biting at his bottom lip. “That thing, it was going on and on. And then one day it stopped. Last year. Since then, it’s like something is off.”

He was only stating facts, like his mouth was vomiting the words on its own accord. “Now how is that for a start, Misaki? You wanted to talk because things are different. Otherwise you wouldn’t need it. So talk. Because I’m not going to do it myself.”

That was also a fact and just admitting it was so much Saruhiko closed up again, retreating into his shell and into a determined silence, as if he had suddenly snapped out of a trance and was realizing what he had said.

Misaki was gaping next to him, his eyes shining. This time, it wasn’t thanks to their bright flame and Saruhiko couldn’t meet his eyes anymore. He looked so young. So why did it hurt so much, that longing for the contact.

“I want to tell you things!” The young man eventually admitted.

“Goddammit, Misaki!” the bogeyman, defeated, buried his face in his hands again. It was going nowhere.

“Eh! Fucking wait!”

Suddenly he was pushed from aside, two hands hitting his shoulder and upper arm to toss him aside. It wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t intended to hurt either. He looked at the red head and met the fire again.

“It’s just not fucking easy, ok? There’re things I’d like to hear first! And I don’t need you stupid monkey to say you won’t tell them to know I won’t hear them! I figured that out, thank you! But then it’s not easy because I can’t be sure!”

“What are you saying?” Saruhiko muttered, mesmerized by the fiery boy towering him.

“I’m saying you never speak! You never did! Kamamoto said if I wasn’t sure, I ought to make you sp—“

Something snapped inside of the dark spirit. The next second the content of the glass of water on the kotatsu turned to ice and the glass cracked dangerously. The TV screen waved a couple of time, the light blinking. And the atmosphere changed totally.

The Guardian had sucked all the warmth of the room, turning it into something freezing and terribly dark.

Something that should have make Misaki back away. It didn’t. Saruhiko was barely aware his hands were balled into fists at his sides. All he did was looking at Misaki like he saw him in broad daylight despite the poor lightning. He saw him breathe in, and out, and repeat it over and over, heavily. He saw the white steamy puffs coming out of his delicate mouth in time with his breathing. He saw his big, wonderful eyes. He could hear his heartbeat hammering against his ribs like it was his own.

“Saruhiko?” Misaki called tentatively, fascinated. He raised a hand, hanging in the space between them.

“Don’t.” The bogeyman escaped the touch and missed Misaki’s hurtful look, too busy being hurt himself. “Don’t talk about him when I’m with you. You’re with me, you shouldn’t be…” Saruhiko was cringing, his jaw set painfully.

The hand fell back on the mattress out of Saruhiko’s sight. The following silence lasted what felt like hours. Saruhiko was burning internally despite the coldness of the room. He was terribly self-conscious and ready to leave for good when Misaki’s uneven voice put an end to the certainly not peaceful silence.

“You’re a fucking mess.”

The red head and usual so bright and warm boy was now chattering, his fingers curled in the sheets as if gripping them would prevent him from shaking like a leaf. And it was all the dark spirit’s fault. Misaki was right, he was a mess.

“I need to leave.”

He got up fast, ready to take away this cold with him. Away from Misaki. It was not counting on the boy’s stubbornness. “Oh no, you don’t!”

He followed him like his shadow, already grabbing the back of Saruhiko’s striped jacket. Strong yet thin arms circled him and the red head plastered himself all over his back. “Fucking stop it already!”

The pair of arms circled him tighter to prevent the Guardian to escape again. They were trembling, like the rest of Misaki’s body. The cold was biting into his skin, Saruhiko knew that. “Fucking stop being jealous for nothing! Stop being gloomy all the time! Stop your bullshits and just tell me when something bothers you! Talk to me, dammit Saruhiko!”

The young man’s teeth were still chattering, but something was slowly building inside both of them that wasn’t all cold.

“How can you not see? I don’t care about the others when you’re with me! And I don’t care about them when you’re not here either! I just care about you, all the goddamn time! I only ever saw you! You’re the only one I’m waiting every fucking night of my life, not anyone else! It had always been there, and it won’t ever fade! It’s inside of me, that stupid thing and I can only feel warm when you’re with me! You alone. I need you. So, _please_ , stop messing with me and just tell me what you want already!” Misaki’s husky voice broke off and he pressed his forehead hard into Saruhiko’s back.

The bogeyman found out he couldn’t speak himself. But he could feel it, too. That _stupid thing_ , building slowly between them, that connection, their Centers dancing with each other, trying to collide.

“You keep coming, again and again. You never really ceased,” Misaki started again, his voice trembling for other reasons than the cold this time. ”Tell me you want something from me, please Saruhiko. Because, I do want something from you.”

Both hands at his back gripped the material harder in a clingy and desperate manner. Saruhiko felt like his answer had a power he didn’t want to possess: the power to break the young man clinging to him like his life depended on it. And he couldn’t break Misaki. He was the most precious thing he has ever seen. Yet…

“I don’t want something from you,” he whispered, not trusting his voice enough yet to speak louder.

Instantly, Misaki let go of him. Saruhiko heard the sharp intake of breath and the teeth chattering. He felt the connection wavering and turned at the speed of light to catch the young man’s wrist. Instead it was a hip and it didn’t prevent him from bringing Misaki closer again to take him in a tight embrace. The warmth that had slowly built was too much for him now, it poured out of the Guardian, radiated all over him and stormed around them, imprisoning both of them in a cage of fire Saruhiko of which would have been afraid, in other circumstances.

Instead he clung to the only thing that could save him, Misaki, and brought his mouth to the other’s ear to be sure he wouldn’t have to repeat it. “I only want Misaki. All of Misaki. I just want you.”

He was aware of the flames licking them, caressing them, dancing around them and yet not burning them. They weren’t even that hot. The only hot thing Saruhiko felt was Misaki’s breathing against his collarbone, as the smaller one buried his head in the crook of his neck, the big bat-shaped bow twisting and falling to the ground. At first, the red head’s arms were hanging alongside him but soon they gripped him again hard.

Misaki was trying to get closer and Saruhiko realized with an overwhelming joy it wasn’t possible. They were already tangled, sharing a bond that had been restrained so long and had grown too much for them to hold it inside of them. Possibly, there was no other way for them to get closer. More even it seemed dangerous, the Guardian thought, drunk with Misaki’s scent and presence and magic.

The blood in his veins was already boiling. Thus, maybe it was for the best when Misaki withdrew a bit, not letting go but looking up. His beautiful eyes were clouded, probably just the same way Saruhiko’s ones were.

And glancing at the parted lips, and thinking about how hot they must have been, yes, the dark spirit knew it was for the best. It had to stop or he’d drown and burn at the same time. It was a scary perspective, and yet he wasn’t running away.

Misaki would break it for him. Everything broke at some point, at least temporarily. That would break too.

It was just a strange way to break their embrace than to lean in again and bracing himself on his toes. It was even stranger to unwrap his arms from around the Guardian’s back to bring them around Saruhiko’s neck.

Misaki.

 _Misaki_ , gorgeous Misaki, never broke the embrace. Instead he broke the whole world when he crashed that pair of searing hot lips against the bogeyman’s one.

And it didn’t only felt that way, it happened that way, all at once. Their mouths pressing against each other, the flames raging even harder – exploding all around – and the frozen glass shattering loudly. But that very storm was nothing. It was so little, so far away from them.

Saruhiko barely registered it, as his eyes flew wide open and he felt his usual Center _pulse_. And as Misaki’s lips moved against his own, it pulsed harder, and repeatedly. The boiling blood in his veins _pulsed_ , too, and the dead heart inside his chest _pulsed_. Both matching the rhythm of another heart, and another Center.

Saruhiko closed his eyes tight, afraid to collapse or to lose his mind at the sensation. Instead he blindly clung to Misaki, eventually kissing him back because it was probably the only way for him to keep sharing the burning heat inside of him, flooding his veins and clouding his mind.

He fell into Misaki’s rhythm, nibbling back at the swollen lips of the red head when a shy tongue ran tentatively across his own; sucking gently on them when Misaki angled his head anew to deepen the kiss… Their lips parted in sync, allowing them to sink in even deeper, their tongues meeting in a searing clash. Saruhiko could have died again after that, it wouldn’t have mattered much to him. He was living the most beautiful and frightening experience in his whole life.

It was like walking along a path for years, collecting pieces without knowing it on his way, and now they all clicked together like the perfect magical puzzle. It was powerful, like the embrace their shared, like the kiss that made them _one_.

And slowly, the wild connection turned into perfect harmony. As they kissed in a perfect symbiosis, the flames and the warmth found themselves tamed, contained and the pulsation of both their hearts was soon the only echo of the gigantic bonfire that had held them in its blazing center.

When they parted for air, the pulse in his veins stopped. There was no heart beating in his chest, and it felt terribly hollow for a moment. He shook his head to look around him.

Saruhiko was almost surprised to find the place untouched (left aside the shreds of glass on the floor) but that fire was a magical one. From the same magic that was now radiating from Misaki.

And Misaki was all eyes on him, looking up, and out of breath, the corner of his eyes bright with unshed tears Saruhiko wanted to kiss away but he was too occupied trying to get a grip on himself. He wasn’t used to be at the mercy of such powerful emotions. Usually he played them, fed on them, and destroyed them even. They never took over him like they just did. Yet, he feel perfectly sated. He wouldn’t even mind doing it again. Once he’d get accustomed to the heartbeat in his chest when they’d be kissing, it would be the most pleasant, delicious, experience.

He would never complain, no, the bogeyman thought when he met the hazel eyes.

“Please, tell me it won’t happen every time,” Misaki said, out of breath, when he was able to speak again. Then he chuckled sheepishly and Saruhiko thought it was the most adorable thing he ever saw.

He smiled at that nonetheless, because the red head was obviously on the verge of collapsing backward on the bed, drained from his energy but wearing the same sated expression than him.

“Right. Poor Misaki can’t afford a new flat,” he gathered enough strength to tease him, eying the bed with envy. He needed to lie down.

“Killing the mood already, uh?” Misaki whined, bumping his forehead against the dark spirit’s shoulder. “You’re evil.”

“Well, I’m the bo—“

“Don’t say it!” Misaki’s hand covered his mouth lazily. “And we still need to talk.”

“Who’s killing the mood now, really,” Saruhiko’s protest was muffled by the hand but understandable enough and the younger one pulled his hand away with a tired but content smile. “Stupid Misaki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you believe me if I told you I waited for this for even longer than you, adorable and patient little readers? ^^'  
> But now I feel incredibly nervous /:


	14. 17 yo - Believe in me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And talking about girls. And dating!... I—I fucking didn’t made up that long distance relationship you were bragging about ok!?”
> 
> That slipped out of his mouth before he knew it and he sucked in his breath, paralyzed. Fuck. He never intended to tell him he had read those conversations, back then.
> 
> Misaki was going to kill him, for sure. It was just a matter of time, as they were facing each other, standing still on their flanks, too caught up in the conversation. Misaki’s hazel eyes were bright, that flame he knew by heart dancing wildly in them. He was going to be ki—ssed.

Saruhiko would have talked. He would, it wasn’t a joke. He was ready to stay, and sit quietly and talk without running away for once. It wasn’t his goddamn fault if Misaki had collapsed and fell asleep as soon as he had made contact with the mattress, though.

That kiss had literally drained him from all his energy. Saruhiko hadn’t been able to hold it or control anything. He realized it in the aftermath. It had been the first time they had connected for real and it had been… explosive, in a sense. And it didn’t even start to describe it. But now he had returned to the bogeymen headquarters, he was thinking about what Misaki had said after they had broken apart.

Saruhiko definitely could see that happening again. The kissing part. But what wasn’t conceivable was for Misaki to be so exhausted after every little kiss they could share.

Maybe that meant they shouldn’t have kissed in the first place?

Yeah… Of course Saruhiko wouldn’t have been Saruhiko if he hadn’t consider that possibility. And that was precisely the reason why he was so gloomy and moody while terrorizing these children during the next night.

His eyes had never been so bright in years and he was almost sure the kids could only see the two blueish gleaming spots shining like beacons.

New shriek.

“Oh come on! I’m not going to eat you… Or maybe I will!” Saruhiko roared loudly and disappeared, rolling his eyes hard.

Nothing had to change, after all. He had duties and even though his powers had reached their peak with that _little adventure_ he was the bogeyman and naughty children weren’t going to spank themselves.

But he would sure go and visit Misaki when it’d be over. Like… Just after scaring the shit out of this 12 years old boy who liked to break other children’s arms in the playground.

When Saruhiko left the place, he was rather proud for the eight years long therapy sessions he had provoked. 

 

But now, he had to deal with his own issues and another kind of child. When he appeared in Misaki’s room, the dark spirit wasn’t surprised to find him sitting stiff against the edge of the kotatsu, playing _World Conflict_ on his play station. He heard Saruhiko but didn’t make a move to show it, sending his virtual skateboard colliding with a wall instead, his avatar crashing on the ground roughly. “That was a pretty lame trick, Misaki,” the bogeyman stated, circling the table to sit next to him but not touching the young man neither.

“I did it on purpose. I was tired to play anyway. It’s past _three_ in the morning,” Misaki said, sitting the controller on the futon, and turning to give the Guardian an accusing look.

“Well, sorry, I had things to do. I don’t just fall asleep on duty, you know,” Saruhiko drawled, averting his gaze at the last sentence.

He missed the sight of Misaki’s face terribly flushed all of a sudden but certainly felt it in the atmosphere.

“What is that supposed to mean?” The young man asked on the defensive.

When it was clear Saruhiko wouldn’t answer, Misaki got up and, fists balled at his hips, he stepped before the bogeyman. “I’m sorry I couldn’t try and stay awake, ok? But—but…” he started to stutter, “That _thing_ —that thing we did! I couldn’t… What the heck happened Saruhiko?”

At least, at that, the dark spirit snapped his head up and looked at the young man towering him. He looked embarrassed but determined to get an answer. It was adorable. Saruhiko felt the ache in his chest. He wanted to _touch_.

“I don’t know for sure. It seems like I absorbed your emotions. The usual,” Saruhiko made an attempt at looking cool and not bothered in the least by what was happening. This was so cool, man, he was a cool bogeyman.

“The usual? Well fuck me! Do you usually k—kiss all the kid you scare when you’re too hungry?” Misaki barked back, furious and blushing a beautiful scarlet red.

What happened next was out of control. Saruhiko’s eyes widened and even if he had tried his best, he couldn’t have prevented the hysterical laugh bubbling inside his chest. He burst into laughter, unable to restrain the tears from falling down his cheeks, while an offended Misaki stepped back, stuttering more unintelligible non-senses.

“Only you, Mi—Misaki!” he eventually was able to say through two manic cacklings. “How licentious, oh god!”

He was holding his ribcages, head rolling backward as he laughed still so loudly. “Goddammit Saruhiko! STOP THAT!” Misaki started to sound really fed up but it was so hard to calm down…

Eventually, the kick he received in the flank, from Misaki’s socked foot, made him reconsider. Saruhiko tried to breathe in and out slowly and deeply. Then, he fell sideway and sprawled himself on the futon, looking up at Misaki’s angry, humiliated and red face above him. Wiping at his wet cheek with a hand, he held the other out for Misaki.

There was a second or two of mumbling and Misaki seriously seemed to consider he shouldn’t take that hand and abandon the bogeyman, but he eventually reached for it and… was roughly handled the second after. Saruhiko pulled harder than he thought and the red head landed half on top of him.

For a second, air knocked out of their lungs, they looked at each other with wide eyes, both taken aback. Then the moment was off and Misaki rolled away from him at the speed of light, as if he had just burnt himself.

Saruhiko clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, glaring at the ceiling as Misaki lay next to him.

Again, they didn’t touch. Although, Saruhiko was hyper self-conscious and could feel Misaki’s fingertips almost brushing his own between them.

“I don’t,” the bogeyman said, out of the blue.

Caught off guard, Misaki turned his head toward him, an eyebrow raised in a quizzical expression.

“I don’t kiss other people,” Saruhiko said, his voice uneven. Actually, the truth was… he had never kissed anyone beside Misaki.

Fingertips brushed his. Then the fingers tentatively intertwined themselves with Saruhiko’s. He suppressed a shiver. Misaki wasn’t so successful at hiding his reaction and it made Saruhiko happier than he would have thought.

“Me neither,” Misaki said sheepishly after a long silence.

Saruhiko pressed his fingers harder around Misaki’s. “I don’t know what happened yesterday. I suppose I couldn’t handle it because I wasn’t… prepared for it.”

“Well… I shouldn’t have done that,” the young man replied in a mumbling.

The bogeyman felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach. He tried to take his hand away but Misaki suddenly realized it wasn’t the good thing to say and gripped his fingers harder. “I meant not without asking! I should have asked _before_ kissing you!” He turned on his flank to face Saruhiko, the urge in his voice betraying his sudden fear.

Saruhiko’s tensed body relaxed a bit at that and he closed his eyes.

“Thing is… I have been wanting to do that. For a really long time.”

Misaki’s voice had been a whisper, a shy whisper almost imperceptible but of course the dark spirit heard it and his eyes flew open, as he rolled on his flank too, to face the younger boy. Misaki couldn’t hold his gaze, a noticeable blush on his cheeks.

“You do?” Saruhiko couldn’t help but ask, trembling slightly with the apprehension.

Misaki looked at him after gathering enough courage.

“Yes. I thought you knew.”

“You thought I knew?” Saruhiko repeated in bewilderment. It was totally insane and he was gaping, looking at Misaki like he was mad. He tried to figure out for a moment if the boy was playing with him. Looked like it didn’t.

“Of course! After the Halloween party, last year. I can’t remember what happened but… I thought I had made a stupid move on you and since you didn’t show up for a long time after that… I was sure I had scared you.”

“Don’t give yourself too much credit, brat! You’re not even close to scare a bogeyman.” He was teasing him from habit, but in reality he was trying to process what the red head had just told him.

“I’m serious Saruhiko. I’ve been wanting to tell you from a long time now, and I was scared and you were acting so odd…” Misaki was determined to fight back.

“How could have I known, Misaki! You were always hanging with that guy!” Saruhiko defended himself. Because he had things to say too. Things he had held back for a very, very long time. “And talking about girls. And dating!... I—I fucking didn’t made up that long distance relationship you were bragging about ok!?”

That slipped out of his mouth before he knew it and he sucked in his breath, paralyzed. Fuck. He never intended to tell him he had read those conversations, back then.

Misaki was going to kill him, for sure. It was just a matter of time, as they were facing each other, standing still on their flanks, too caught up in the conversation. Misaki’s hazel eyes were bright, that flame he knew by heart dancing wildly in them. He was going to be ki—ssed.

The skater bounced on him and the next second, all he knew was that he was pinned to the futon, Misaki rolling on top of him, and a pair of hot searing lips were crashing on his gasping mouth.

For the second time, he wasn’t able to anticipate the indescribable feeling in his chest. He wondered for a second if he would ever stop being surprised by the sensation of his dead heart beating again. He thought probably not and closed his eyes, answering to the kiss with as much enthusiasm as Misaki. This time, no storm of fire was raging around them but the warmth was real, their connection was too and it was as breath taking as the first time.

Misaki’s legs shifted slightly to straddle his hips, his hands clutched in the front of Saruhiko’s jacket. He started nipping at his bottom lip soon, proving he wanted more despite what had happened the night before and Saruhiko couldn’t deny him.

His black-painted nails ran over the young man’s shoulder blades not quite covered with the black tank top as he parted his lips and allowed the other’s tongue to meet shyly his own. It sent a pure jolt of pleasure through his whole body and Saruhiko’s nails dug into Misaki’s back despite himself.

The boy on top of him flinched and sank deeper in the kiss, his hands travelling higher to cup the dark spirit’s jaw for one, tangle itself in the dark hair for the other. Soon he was tugging on it lightly, sighing in Saruhiko’s mouth when he got a new scratch.

The Guardian flipped them over, reclaiming his position between the younger one’s legs immediately. One of Misaki’s hooked itself around Saruhiko’s calf possessively, and Saruhiko imagined a second how it would have felt like if he wasn’t wearing his stupid pants. Misaki was wearing shorts again. Their naked skins would have met, rubbed against each other…

He moaned into the kiss and gasped, surprised by the sound he produced himself; Misaki’s arms circled his body, pulling him closer, now boldly licking into the Guardian’s mouth. He was shaking nonetheless. Saruhiko felt it the same way he felt their hearts beating in sync.

“S—Saruhiko?” the red head moaned and pulled apart, his head lolling backward. He was out of breath and the skin of his neck was slightly gleaming with sweat after the intense action. Saruhiko’s pupils widened with hunger and he resumed kissing the boy, this time trailing more or less insistent kisses over his throat and shoulder.

The hand still tangled in his dark hair tugged on them again and his name was murmured once more. It was an ordeal to look up but he did it, and met the beautiful hazel eyes.

“Please, can we—can we go to the bed?” Misaki asked, blushing anew.

Saruhiko had to admit - even with his mind clouded with pleasure and excitation - that the half folded futon wasn’t the most comfortable spot to kiss on. Thus, he reluctantly pulled away, feeling his heartbeat fading as he was drawing away. It really was the oddest feeling he has ever experienced. He hadn’t much time to think about it, though, for Misaki took his hand in his own and pulled him towards the bed timidly. The dark spirit followed after him, eager to press closer to the young man again.

Misaki sat on the edge of the bed, seeming unsure about what he was supposed to do now they were here and Saruhiko took the lead again. He pushed him further so the red head was sitting against the wall and, before he could change his mind and chicken out himself, he sat in his lap and straddled his hips. They weren’t as narrow as his own, but Misaki was definitely thinner that what all the baggy clothes suggested.

The skater’s hands found their place on Saruhiko’s flanks, just above his hips, as if he didn’t dare lower them more. Their next eye contact was electric. Misaki’s chest was heaving up and down fast.

“Are you feeling ok?” the bogeyman asked, cupping the red head’s face with his hands.

Misaki nodded eagerly despite his flushed face. “Ok,” Saruhiko whispered, out of breath, and he leant into him again, never breaking eye contact, not even when their lips met again.

He wanted to make sure this wasn’t too much for this so fragile, so precious, human being. He couldn’t bear the idea of breaking him, not even exhausting him to the point of making him collapse again. Misaki was his, _really_ his now, and there was no way he was hurting him.

His thumb was gently stroking one of the red head’s cheek, in full contrast with the heated kiss they were sharing now, wet hot lips gliding against each other, nibbling, sucking on… It was terrifyingly good.

And also hot enough for Misaki to be a bit bolder. His hands travelled lower this time, to settle on the bogeyman’s hips, fingertips digging in the material of his suit insistently. Saruhiko shuddered and his hips rocked forward against his own will. They both stilled at that friction, a long broken moan piercing the silence. None of the two could tell from who it was coming, but they knew what had provoked it and the temperature of the atmosphere increased again after they challenged each other through heated glances.

This time, it was almost beastly, the way they attacked each other again, fighting for dominance in the kiss. Saruhiko had no idea where it was going but he wasn’t going to stop. Not even if his life depended on it. It seemed like Misaki thought just the same. Soon, hands were tugging on Saruhiko’s jacket and shirt, and he felt the cool air of the room teasing the patch of skin Misaki had just bared. Soon, his warm hands would replace that cold air and the bogeyman started to tremble from the anticipation. His lips left Misaki’s mouth to trail more kisses along his jaw. He was nuzzling his neck when he felt the hands brushing tentatively his bare flanks. Misaki’s heavy and hot breathing trembled in his ear in a beautiful melody.

Saruhiko latched his mouth at the young man’s collarbone and started sucking on it as the less-and-less shy hands discovered each square of if skin. They travelled lower again, lower.

His trousers hung low on hip hips - Misaki could reach pretty low if he adventured himself there - and were only held by...

"SARU! WHAT THE FUCK?"

_That_ made him snap out of his trance in a flash. He shook his head and frowned at the crook of Misaki’s neck.

"What?" he drawled, trying to hide his utter annoyance. The red mark he had left unfinished seemed to be mocking him now. But it wasn’t going to stop here, for sure.

"B--barb-- BARB WIRE?" Misaki exclaimed, hands suddenly up in the air and livid.

Saruhiko rolled his eyes and pulled away. He sat back in Misaki’s lap quite uncomfortably, now he was hyper aware of the lower part of his body and not _into it_ anymore. "So what?"

His eyes shifted down and he saw, indeed, the thin line of barbwire that circled his waist, hooked in the multiple belt loops.

"This is sick! What the hell!" Misaki went on again, clearly not believing his eyes. And he better should because that wasn’t going to make the wire disappear. Saruhiko didn’t know why he was making such a fuss over it. It was the same as Andy’s whip or Hidaka’s straw… Decorum.

"Oh come on! Who am I again? Oh right! The--"

"Don't you FUCKING dare say Bogeyman or I strangle you with that wire! You sick bastard!" Misaki’s hands, still hanging stupidly in the air, clasped together and he pushed lightly Saruhiko in the chest.

He clearly didn’t intend to make him go away but that discovery had shaken him enough.

“Did it prick you?” Saruhiko asked with serious concern, even if it still annoyed him a bit.

“IT DID, YES! And I was surprised, too! This is DANGEROUS! You really shouldn’t…”

"Enough! It's not like I planned to have sex or something today, okay?" Saruhiko interrupted him, the mood dangerously dropping as Misaki gesticulated wildly, still very agitated.

That had the merit of making Misaki blush and stutter something about “s-sex”.

"And even so, I wouldn't be wearing fishnets or stockings. Now if you prefere to be an eternal virgin with a sharp sense of fashion... So be it."

The bogeyman tugged back on his clothes to hide his waist, and _belt_ and shifted away from the young man.

“It’s not like that! I” Misaki protested vividly, arranging his own clothes while blushing with anger and embarrassment. “I could have been hurt more! And more important: you could hurt yourself any time! You’re not wearing them on a daily basis, are you?” He suddenly asked, eyes narrowing in a suspicious way. “Because if you do—“

“I said _enough_! I’m sorry it pricked you! I won’t wear them anymore, ok? At least not when I’ll see you, virgin!” He said, a bit more sharply than he intended too, and he folded his arms with a gloomy look.

“Stop with that already! It has nothing to do with that!” the red head countered angrily. “Beside… Who told you I was a virgin, eh Saru?”

Misaki spat that harshly and Saruhiko could immediately see he was regretting it even before the words finished leaving his loud mouth. It was too late anyway.

The blow in his chest, where his dead heart had stopped beating again, was terribly hurtful and the look he gave Misaki was even more.

The red head understood it instantly, trying to reach for him with a sort of desperation in his eyes when Saruhiko backed away wildly, jumping out of the bed like a graceful panther. He was also as deadly, according to the shadow on his face. The temperature dropped drastically around them.

“Please Saruhiko! You know it’s not true!” Misaki pleaded, jumping out of the bed too. He seemed still angry but it was sadly softened by the fear. “I just wanted to…”

“How would I know! It would only be normal, after all!” Saruhiko spat, retreating toward the furthest corner of the room to escape Misaki’s presence. He still radiated with the warmth, with their own thing. Yet, Saruhiko couldn’t take that warmth for granted.

“Come on! Of course it’s not true! How—who? This is fucking stupid! There’s no way I would… DID WHAT I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY COUNT FOR NOTHING?” Misaki asked in despair, his hand held out.

“I don’t know! And even if it’s true! What does it change?”

“You don’t mean that!” the red head stopped in his track, looking as hurt as Saruhiko.

“You think?” Saruhiko’s voice sounded vicious, now.

Misaki didn’t want to believe him, though, and he strode toward the bogeyman who was cornered anyway. He had to try. It seemed like he wouldn’t give up so soon.

“It changes everything. I told you already, stop being so fucking jealous. I only ever wanted you, it won’t change! If you don’t have faith in me then…”

“Then nothing!” Saruhiko’s insecurities, the one that had been building inside him for the last months and even more over the last night were hitting him hard. “Even If I have faith, you’re young and alive, Misaki!”

He had shouted the last words as if they were the rudest insult he could have think of and the light of the room flickered abruptly at that. When it came back, Saruhiko hadn’t the time to see the young man’s hand flying in the air and straight across his face. It slapped him hard and both looked as astonished as the other. Misaki didn’t quite believe he had just slapped Saruhiko and the Guardian didn’t realize his cheek was burning because of the slap. “Sorry…” The young man muttered through his teeth.

Misaki suppressed a sob. But the determination in his eyes was still there, like the pain and the fear. “Don’t say things like that! Fuck! You don’t realize it, don’t you? It doesn’t matter! I’ll repeat it over and over if I need to, Saruhiko, I swear! I never wanted anyone else than you and nothing will change that!” He was so close, now. “I don’t give a fuck if you have magical powers and I don’t. It’s not important if I get to meet you only some nights here and then as long as you promise you’ll come back for me…”

Misaki’s hand brushed his chest. Saruhiko found out he wasn’t breathing anymore. He wanted to believe what Misaki was saying so hard… But he couldn’t help the fear creeping under his skin, into his bones.

“And I don’t fucking care if you always stay the same gloomy bastard over the years. I want you just the same, Saruhiko.”

The hand stilled over his heart, flat and warm despite the cold of the room. Misaki looked hurt and unsure now when he looked back at Saruhiko with expectations.

“The real question is… Do _you_ care if I keep on changing and growing?”

Saruhiko said nothing at first. He considered it. Misaki would age, indeed. He would grow old, and he would always believe in him, that he could be sure of, now. But still… Would a thirty years old Misaki want to meet a dark spirit that way. Wouldn’t a twenty-three young man want to experience more, to meet other persons…? What if he got bored of Saruhiko? Of what they had.

“I just want Misaki,” Saruhiko said in a broken and raspy voice, his eyes burning with tears. He couldn’t meet Misaki’s gaze, it was too much. It hurt him to no end. Yes, he wanted Misaki so bad. It was all he had always been craving for.

“Fucking take what you want then!” The hand curled in a ball, gripping hard at the material of the jacket. “You stop that stupid game right now, being all tortured and shit and you just take what I’m ready to give, dammit!” Misaki barked, angry anew.

Saruhiko brought his hand to his chest to cover Misaki’s fist.

“Because I’m willing to give you everything, Saruhiko. You just have to believe in me the same way I kept believe in you all these years. Because I never stopped.”

And _that_ made perfectly sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE TALK HAPPENED AND NOW THEY ARE A COUPLE AND SARUHIKO SHOULDN'T FREAK OUT TO MUCH ANY LONGER (maybe haha)
> 
> Anyway... BEWARE, ATTENTION PLEASE, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT:  
> Next. Chapter. Is. SMUT!
> 
> I also changed the rating for T because they swear a LOT now they are both adults and also well... It wasn't smut here, but it's a bit hot between them and will be again and I don't want to fool anyone :)
> 
> Sorry, this fanfiction is moving and changing as I'm writing it. When I think it was supposed to be just an oneshot at first... It's time to thank you all for reading it, I'm so happy to share their adventure with you and everything around. Thank you so much, it's so important to me.


	15. 17 yo - Something to share (nsfw)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you trust me? Because I also have something for you.”
> 
> Misaki nodded eagerly, his excitation written all over his face anew. He looked like the younger version of himself, happier than a puppy discovering the snow for the first time. “Then turn around,” Saruhiko asked, feeling a bit of apprehension himself.
> 
> The young man complied and sat away from him, fidgeting on the edge of the bed. Saruhiko looked around him and took the ribbon in his slim hands. It was just what he needed. A moment later, and after breathing in deeply, he pressed himself against his boyfriend’s back and brought the ribbon to his face. “Close your eyes,” he whispered in the other’s ear. Then, the ribbon slid over the closed amber eyes and Saruhiko tied it at the back of the red head.
> 
> “S—Saruhiko what—what is this? What are you doing?” Misaki asked when he realized he had been blindfolded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! This chapter is **SMUT**. S M U T!  
>  It's Sarumi. With a Blindfold kink. And it's a gift for thisloveisradiant :)
> 
> By the way I love misaru as much as Sarumi so it won't always be Sarumi :)

“Did you just wish me a Merry Christmas?” Saruhiko asked in utter disbelief.

Andy Domyoji shrugged with an innocent smile as Kamo dragged him away. He would never learn. They probably were the last of the bogeymen in the headquarters by now. Saruhiko sighed and slammed the door shut, just in time. Munakata had appeared at the end of the corridor and he had no time for this. It was almost midnight, Saruhiko had spent the whole week without Misaki to scare as many children as he could so his powers would be strong enough not to care about them even in those days of joy and happiness, and now he wanted only one thing: spend the night with his boyfriend.

That word sounded so foreign, and yet he felt oddly happy when he thought about it. It had been more than two months. Almost three. And they hadn’t ceased meeting again and again, like they had always done for years, except now, they didn’t just play video games anymore, or watch movies or talked… There also was a lot of kissing and hugging and strange things Saruhiko wasn’t familiar with at all, and that made Misaki blush shades of Red the bogeyman had never thought he’d seen one day.

A scene crossed his mind clearly as he leant against the wooden panel of the door. _Misaki was lying under him, his bare and smooth chest heaving hard, his eyes half closed and the back of his hand covering his mouth but not his flushed cheeks…_ Saruhiko had a hard time to contain a moan, he needed to see him again. The last time, they had pushed things a bit further than usual and he had spent the whole week trying not to think about it.

The bogeyman had just a place to visit before he could visit him again. Twenty minutes before midnight. He fumbled with his belt absentmindedly and pulled the barb wire belt out of the loops, abandoning it on the floor. The room was so neat except for that little detailed. Then he locked the door and crawled under his four-post bed.

 

A second later he appeared in the bedroom of a child he visited frequently due to his bad behavior. Lights were off, the kid was sleeping soundly. Saruhiko didn’t even approached the bed to give him any nightmare. In a flash, he was out of the room, tiptoeing around the first floor gracefully, like a cat hiding in the shadows. He found what he was searching for quickly, the parents’ bedroom.

Both were asleep too and the bogeyman strode towards the bedside table without any remorse. He opened the drawer and sighed in frustration the next second. He didn’t need to turn the lights on the see clearly. And the drawer was empty of what he needed.

He closed it a bit harder than he intended and the woman in the bed woke up with a gasp, looking around with eyes full of stress and fear. The dark spirit almost rubbed his hands together, a grin spreading on his face. At least he’d still stole something from them and these kind of emotions were perfect to give him strength.

But he had lost time. Fourteen minutes before midnight.

Saruhiko went back to the child’s room and crawled under the bed immediately. The Guardian repeated the operation three times before he started throwing terrible nightmares at whoever he was encountering. The pent-up frustration started to get on his nerves. Luckily, he found what he had been searching for all this time in the fifth house.

In the parents’ bedroom, who were absent, Saruhiko opened a drawer with exactly what he needed in it. The bogeyman snatched the little item and hid it in the pocket inside his jacket, next to his magical parchment, not feeling guilty in the slightest.

Then he looked at the clock on the wall and gulped down audibly. One minute. Fuck.

He ran back to the bed and crawled under it at the speed of light. Saruhiko was almost out of breath when he reappeared in Misaki’s little flat.

A loud _bang_ welcomed him and he froze just after getting to his feet, his body going stiff. Saruhiko then saw the door that had been kicked open. Misaki was standing in the doorway, his cheeks and nose red from the cold, for once, a storm of wind and snow making its way into the flat.

His black beanie was covered partially with the snow, as well as his coat and… Goddammit, what’s with that stupid idea! “Fooling around in the snow in _shorts_ again?” Saruhiko stated sternly, ignoring his hands trembling from the excitation.

Misaki said nothing, just kicking the door again to close it, letting a last blast of air entering the flat with a load of snowflakes behind him. Then he strode toward the bogeyman, shrugging his coat off and getting rid of the beaning in the process and Saruhiko found out he was paralyzed and let the younger man come to him.

And it was so like Misaki. The way the red head threw himself at Saruhiko, tackled him awkwardly on the bed behind them, kissing the air out of him already… It was warm and the dark spirit’s heartbeat echoed hard in his chest.

After a few moments, he wasn’t frozen anymore and welcomed the smaller body in a tight embrace. Misaki wouldn’t leave him breath, anyway. His mouth was being kissed, his jaw, his cheeks, the stiches along them that Misaki has learnt weren’t painful for the bogeyman… And in response, Saruhiko kissed him harder every time, returning back every bite, every lick and every caress. It wasn’t all tenderness, it was eager and desperate, as if he hadn’t been the only one craving for it a whole week.

Soon Misaki was tearing the bow away, pulling on the bogeyman’s collar in the process just to dive back and kiss his neck too. Saruhiko could have drown under the avalanche of kisses and bites. If it wasn’t for the red head feeling all self-conscious after the first flow of adrenaline receding away…

The pressure against him disappeared as the skater left a last small kiss square on his lips before withdrawing. He slowly straightened up, straddling the bogeyman’s waist, his two hands still gripping the white collar. They both looked disheveled. “Merry Christmas Saruhiko,” the young man breathed out, his face adorably flushed.

“Yeah… You too,” Saruhiko whispered, looking up in awe, before slapping himself internally. Misaki really was the only red head that could make him turn into jelly and say bullshit like wishing a happy Christmas. Seriously.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Misaki then went on, more aggressively.

A lazy grin twisted Saruhiko’s lips and he made himself more comfortable against the mattress, his fingertips brushing the young man’s thighs. “I missed you too, Misaki~.”

“Shaddap, I’m not joking. You left me like—like th—that the other day and disappeared a whole week! Not funny dumbass!” Misaki stumbled, all worked up.

Well, that was true. Saruhiko had ran away after the last time and the vision of Misaki all hot and bothered underneath him came back in mind. He looked away, clicking his tongue. “I had things to do,” he mumbled, not adding the implied _if I wanted to avoid doing you._

“Right! Of fucking course! Well that wasn’t a good reason for abandoning me after what you did to me!”

“And what are you talking about exactly?” Saruhiko asked, unable to resist it any longer, looking straight into the amber eyes now.

“You know damn well what I’m talking about!” Misaki groaned, slightly shaking the collar clutched in his hands.

Saruhiko could pretend all he wanted he had no idea, it wasn’t true and Misaki’s small body trembling under him, containing little moans and radiating warmth… “Yes and you’re such a virgin you won’t say it aloud!”

“I’m not!” Misaki protested. The bogeyman arched an eyebrow.

“’mnot sayin’t aloud,” the skater added, averting his gaze, all shyly.

“I like that better,” Saruhiko said low and dangerous.

 Misaki swallowed audibly and the Guardian stood up, propping himself on his elbows to steal the young man a kiss. “Okay, I’m sorry. But you know how it is with all the Christmas shits. I needed to scare some kids if I wanted to spend the whole night with you,” Saruhiko said casually, but he was internally burning now their faces were so close again.

“Yea, whatever,” Misaki mumbled again, averting his eyes but far from able to hide his blushing cheeks at such words. “Speaking of Christmas shits… I have a present for you.”

Before Saruhiko could react, an object was dropped on his chest. Saruhiko looked at it with huge eyes and a puzzled expression. It wasn’t big, and wrapped in a midnight blue paper with a long lie-de-vin red ribbon. It was very delicate and pretty, just the way Misaki could be on rare occasion that Saruhiko truly cherished.

“What is it?” he asked, not believing his eyes.

Misaki rolled his eyes. “Just open it already.”

The bogeyman took the package in his hands and untied the ribbon carefully, looking at the object like it could explode any moment. Inside the paper was a box. And when he looked again at the red head, he got an encouraging look. Slowly, he opened the box and froze.

There was a key in it. Saruhiko frowned and felt a lump growing in his throat.

“I know it’s stupid since you can go in and out as you please without using the door… But I thought—you know, it makes it realer.” Misaki’s voice sounded above him, sheepish and embarrassed.

“Realer?” Saruhiko heard himself say.

“Yes. As if you were living here too… This place. It can be yours too if you want to.”

This time, the young man almost couldn’t finish his last sentence because his voice was too high-pitched and broke off. The dark spirit looked up and their gazes met. The flame in Misaki’s hazel eyes was so bright it almost blinded him.

“Like you said,” he answered, his own voice husky. “It’s stupid. But I’ll accept it.”

The key dug in his palm when Saruhiko closed his hand around it. A smug smile was now playing on Misaki’s lips. Next second, his free hand was tangled in the chestnut hair and he leant forward to share a needy kiss. It was heated but short and they both ended out of breath when Saruhiko broke the embrace. Then he pushed Misaki off of him and put the key in his pocket, his fingers brushing the object he had retrieved earlier.

“Do you trust me? Because I also have something for you.”

Misaki nodded eagerly, his excitation written all over his face anew. He looked like the younger version of himself, happier than a puppy discovering the snow for the first time. “Then turn around,” Saruhiko asked, feeling a bit of apprehension himself.

The young man complied and sat away from him, fidgeting on the edge of the bed. Saruhiko looked around him and took the ribbon in his slim hands. It was just what he needed. A moment later, and after breathing in deeply, he pressed himself against his boyfriend’s back and brought the ribbon to his face. “Close your eyes,” he whispered in the other’s ear. Then, the ribbon slid over the closed amber eyes and Saruhiko tied it at the back of the red head.

“S—Saruhiko what—what is this? What are you doing?” Misaki asked when he realized he had been blindfolded.

Saruhiko managed a more confident smile, even though he wasn’t feeling as confident as he tried to look. “Remember that night a long time ago when we travelled to those little bastards’ bedroom?” He asked, getting to his feet and pulling Misaki up with him. He kept the boy’s hands in his own. Misaki nodded slightly.

“Remember what I said. That you can’t let my hand go. Now… trust me.”

Slowly, he dragged the red head down on his knees, following him immediately, then he led him lower, pulling on his hand firmly. He clearly could feel the apprehension in the atmosphere. Misaki was excited but also scared, Saruhiko felt it. But he, himself, was so eager… “Where are we g—“

“I said, _trust me_ ,” the bogeyman repeated.

Then Saruhiko pulled one last time and they disappeared under the bed.

 

When they crawled out of that new one, Saruhiko could clearly identify Misaki’s dread. They weren’t even back on their feet that the dark spirit casted a spell to stop any sound from coming out of the room, then he pulled the boy on his feet and stood behind him, bending over him to speak directly in his ear.

“Okay. We’re here. Are you alright?”

Misaki shivered against him. “Yes. Can I see now?”

This time, it was Saruhiko’s apprehension that filled the room but Misaki couldn’t feel it and the bogeyman slowly lifted the ribbon to uncover the hazel eyes. He heard the red head’s gasp instantly.

Misaki sucked in his breath and, after several seconds when he tried to process what he was seeing, he turned over to face the Guardian with huge eyes full of wonder. “Where are we Saruhiko?”

“Well… It’s Christmas, most of the bogeymen left the headquarters to chase naughty children around the city and…”

“Fuck! Don’t tell me—“

“So I thought I could show you too where I—“ Saruhiko was cut off by another brief but violent kiss.

He was released almost immediately and could only observe as Misaki went all around the wide room. It was very dark, yet so organized and clean. The big bed in the center of the wall opposite to the door had black sheets and so many cushions. There was a wardrobe in a corner, closed, and its wooden panels were decorated with moldings, just like the higher parts of the walls and the two doors of the room. One leading out, the other to the bathroom.

“Do you—do you sleep here?” Misaki asked in awe, turning again to face Saruhiko who felt oddly nervous.

The young man still had the ribbon tied around his forehead. “Say… You know I don’t really sleep, right?”

“You know what I mean,” Misaki mumbled. “It’s your room, right?”

The bogeyman nodded and joined him next to the bed. “I thought maybe you’d want to see. Since you’re always asking annoying questions about that place and the other bogeymen.”

The skater rolled his eyes and looked around them after nudging him in the ribcage. “Okay. Now we can return to your place,” Saruhiko said.

At the exact same moment, Misaki’s eyes seemed to catch something of interest because they widened almost comically. The time for Saruhiko to follow his line of sight, he was kissed again. Then the barb wire belt caught his eyes but it was already too late. Misaki was leading him eagerly toward the bed. Saruhiko almost tripped in the process but let himself be pushed, sitting on the edge of it and letting Misaki straddle him.

He responded to the kiss with as much enthusiasm as the young man showed but froze the moment two hands pulled up his jacket to sneak under and still over his trousers’ fly. Without the belt, they hung very low on his narrow hips and Misaki’s fingers, hooked at his waistband, brushed against his sensitive skin.

It required all his self-control to catch his wrists and push the young man back. In a flash, Misaki was lying on the bed, and Saruhiko hovered above him, a hand keeping his wrists secured, the other wandering along the red head’s neck and temple. He had that strange impression that his heart was beating in his throat and stomach.

“What do you think you’re doing, Misaki?”

“I just—You’re not wearing _it_ ,” the red head answered, wriggling under him to look at the belt on the floor.

“So what? Where do you think you are, suddenly jumping on me like—“ Misaki wriggled a bit more and Saruhiko was cut off shortly, his last words strangled in his throat. He was laying atop of him, in between the younger man’s legs and… Obviously, the fact that he wasn’t wearing a dangerous article of clothing had had a powerful effect on the red head. Saruhiko could feel it just there, right between his legs.

He closed his eyes and suppressed any reaction. “We’re going back to your flat,” he eventually said, opening his eyes again to put back the blindfold over Misaki’s eyes.

“Eh! What the hell, Saru!” the red head thrashed under him again, now blind and his wrists caught in a tight grip.

But that was the worst idea he had of the whole night. The more he thrashed under Saruhiko, the more that latter felt how aroused he was and it wasn’t helping. “Silence, goddammit Misaki,” the bogeyman said, almost pleading.

And what better way than _kissing him_ silence.

Though, still worked up – all blind and restrained he was – Misaki bit back more than he kissed back and the kiss turned into something messy, with teeth soon clashing. But the fiercer it was, the more they drowned in it. Saruhiko’s heart beat so wildly it was painful and they broke off for some air when neither of them could breathe anymore.

Misaki’s face was slightly flushed but the way his chest heaved up and down so fast didn’t fool the dark spirit. Neither did the evident proof of the young man’s arousal against his thigh. To be quite honest, he was in the same state.

“We need to go back to your place,” he said absentmindedly and out of breathe, mesmerized by the exposed throat under him. 

Misaki nodded slightly, and swallowed again audibly.

The vein in his neck pulsed and Saruhiko couldn’t resist and kissed it. He was aware he was trembling, or was it Misaki? They both were, shaking like leafs as the bogeyman trailed kisses along Misaki’s neck, jaw, earlobe and the young man tried unsuccessfully to suppress any tiny moans.

Saruhiko let go of Misaki’s hands too, and they were gripping his jacket right after. They almost torn the material apart when he blindly tried to take it off. Saruhiko helped him unconsciously while sucking on the white skin at the crook of Misaki’s neck to leave a red mark.

The jacket landed next to them on the dark sheets. Then Misaki’s hand roamed his chest again and this time he took care of his black vest and white shirt. Saruhiko knew it wasn’t right, that he shouldn’t let the young man undress him but he was breaking his little kissing game himself to take the sweat-shirt away, then the black tank top Misaki was wearing and soon… Their bare chests brushed and Saruhiko wanted nothing but own the parted lips that exhaled a needy groan; so he claimed them in a hot searing kiss.

Knowing perfectly they should stop and leave the place, he kicked his boots off and pulled Misaki in the center of the bed. As if the young man was reading his mind, he kicked his own sneakers off and made himself more comfortable too.

“This is stupid,” Saruhiko whispered against the swollen lips. Misaki nodded in the following kiss, his hands tangled at the back of the dark spirit’s head. He felt dizzy when the red head parted his legs more and then circled his waist with them, pulling him down.

They moaned in sync at the delicious friction and suddenly, it didn’t matter anymore if the whole situation was stupid, or dangerous. Saruhiko couldn’t abandon him, couldn’t get away. He craved for that warmth, for that contact. _Desperately_. “I just want to… feel. Misaki.”

“Yes, Saruhiko, me too,” a shy yet determined voice answered.

Again, Misaki was pulling on his waistband with insistency and Saruhiko couldn’t ignore how relieved he would be without them to restrain him. Still, they shouldn’t. “Saruhiko… I want you,” the shy voice called again.

And from a _shouldn’t_ , Saruhiko’s brain went to a _must._ They needed it.

The dark spirit braced himself on his hands and looked down. Misaki was probably very self-conscious, judging on how he chased contact and wriggled under him. But even if he couldn’t see his eyes, his expression was more than clear. “Saru?” he asked when the bogeyman started contemplating too long.

“I’m here,” Saruhiko answered, and he kneeled between the other’s legs with a weight on his stomach. It was the first time he did something like that. He wasn’t even sure how this was going to end exactly but his body was running on the adrenaline and the instinct. And the desire.

“Raise your hips,” he said with a raspy and low voice.

Several seconds passed before Misaki tentatively did as he was asked and Saruhiko remembered all the time he had been all embarrassed from his own actions whenever things got too heated between them. He pulled on the pair of shorts, leaving in place his boxers and trying to ignore the best he could the evident bulge in them.

Then he did the same with his own trousers, kicking them all the way and he crawled back between the young man’s legs, his black-painted nails grazing over the perfect abs and chest. Then he bent and kissed Misaki’s temple gently. “Move under the covers,” he offered, knowing the red head would feel less exposed.

He didn’t wait for a response and tugged on the sheets enough to allow them to sneak under them. In an instant, he had pulled the covers back on top of them and was between his boyfriend’s legs, kissing every single millimeter of his face as gently as he could. Saruhiko knew he was trembling and it was a poor attempt at calming slightly his frenetic heartbeat.

What he hadn’t planned was that Misaki felt considerably bolder now and a hand came to rest flat on his lower back to pull him closer. The gentle nibble on Misaki jaw turned into a harsh bite and both froze. Misaki’s head lolled backward, his lips parting in a silent moan. They wouldn’t last long under the covers if the temperature kept increasing like that, but it didn’t matter. Actually, Saruhiko wanted the temperature to increase _more_. It radiated from Misaki like a strong call, just where his Center was.

He kneeled once more and kissed the red head’s chest just where he knew his heart was beating, getting rid of his pair of boxers in the process. Then he stilled his hands over Misaki’s waist band, waiting for a “go on,” that came instantly.

Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply. They had never gone this far, he really had near to zero idea how it should go. All Saruhiko saw was the thin and perfect body and… “Don’t stare!” Misaki eventually whined, covering his mouth with the back of his hands from embarrassment. It was so much like him, Saruhiko needed more of that. Of what Misaki was.

He found the courage to remove the boxers too and Misaki didn’t leave him a choice, catching his shoulders in death-strong grip and pulling him down again, to chase his lips. He ended kissing blindly the dark spirit’s cheekbone and moaned in frustration. Said frustration turned into pleasure when their naked bodies glided against each other fully.

Misaki wrapped his legs around Saruhiko’s waist, eventually finding his mouth to press a hungry kiss there. The position they were in was more than explicit and Saruhiko gasped when Misaki seemed to twist on purpose to welcome him more. “Wait,” he heard himself moan. It was getting out of hands.

“I want to. If it’s you, I want to,” Misaki almost pleaded, his hot lips moving against his jaw. And as if he wanted to make himself more clear, the red head rolled his hips again and Saruhiko slid just near Misaki’s entrance. “Fu—no, wait,” Saruhiko argued poorly, his jaw set painfully.

The torture was real. It would take nothing, a slight push of the hips to connect with Misaki in ways they had never experienced. Ways that would drive them crazy. Saruhiko moved a hand between them and brushed Misaki’s strained cock. He heard the gasp in his ear.

And that was the last thing he needed. The dark spirit pulled away instantly, an odd feeling creeping down his spine. He realized it was fear, too familiar with it to ignore it even in their actual state. “Saruhiko?” Misaki asked with a worried tone.

The bogeyman looked down and saw him removing the blindfold completely, dropping it on the cushions. His whole small body was covered in a thin film of sweat, the crook of his neck and the line of his abs gleaming slightly and beautifully as his muscles flexed under his heavy breath. He was so beautiful, it was painful. The ache in Saruhiko’s chest was almost oppressing.

“What’s happening?” Misaki asked again, definitely worrying now.

What was happening was that Saruhiko couldn’t, definitely couldn’t, hurt him. He had been chasing a connection and a warmth they were too eager to find and what if… “I don’t want to hurt you,” Saruhiko admitted with a lump in his throat. He remembered vividly their first kiss. Misaki fainting. “I want Misaki so much… What if I hurt you?” the dark spirit went on.

Misaki frowned and braced himself on his elbows, the dark spirit sitting between his legs, the covers up over his shoulders. He felt so stupid but he couldn’t care less. “What are you saying Saruhiko? You won’t! I want it. I mean… I know it’s—I—hum I know it will hurt a bit, yeah? But it’s nothing,” Misaki said, averting his gaze and visibly ready to die from embarrassment.

The sight had something comforting. Fierce Misaki being all proud but too ashamed to word things like that. Saruhiko sighed and rested a hand flat on his boyfriend’s stomach. “I don’t mean _that_ , Misaki.” Unconsciously, his hand travelled higher, where his heart and Center were, pulsing with life, _tempting_ him.

Misaki looked at the hand and his mouth opened in surprise. “Oh.” _Oh_ , right. _That_. Fortunately, Saruhiko didn’t feel alone too long because Misaki took his hands and glanced back up. “That’s what you’re afraid about?”

“Obviously,” Saruhiko mumbled, his hand spamming in the strong grip.

“Yo, Saruhiko!” Misaki suddenly pushed himself up and circled the bogeyman in a bone-crushing embrace. He was scowling. But he was very not wearing clothes, and warm, and alive and Saruhiko hissed but Misaki ignored him. “Who’s the giant bad clown who came into my room and fucking blinded me but, you know, _trust me_ _goddammit stupid Misaki_! And here I am, n—naked, and trusting you! So, how about you cut the crap and… well.”

Seemed like it was the maximum Misaki could do without melting of embarrassment. But, at least, it was perfectly clear and didn’t need any more explanations. “Aren’t you afraid?” Saruhiko couldn’t help but ask, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“Afraid I’m gonna punch you if you don’t just cut it and resume what you were doing? _Yes_ , Saruhiko, I’m scared to death.”

Saruhiko managed a smile, nuzzling the red hair. “Come on, say it, virgin!”

“You’re not making fun of me now, mister I’ve shitty insecurities thus I can’t fuck my boyfriend proper—“ Misaki cut himself off, eyes widening. Saruhiko couldn’t help but grin like a mad man.

He pushed the red head back into the cushions and tried to hide his predatory smile unsuccessfully. He was still afraid, but maybe Misaki was right and he shouldn’t worry that much. And the adorable young man helped him relaxing. “I can’t believe you were able to say it. So bold, Misaki.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Misaki answered fiercely, his hazel eyes catching on fire.

Saruhiko muffled the threat in a new kiss, Misaki’s nails digging in his back the moment he leant into him again.

 

It wasn’t long before they couldn’t breathe, the delicious frictions between them totally maddening. Hands were roaming, groping, caressing… And now one of Saruhiko’s was around Misaki’s cock with tentative motions that elicited throaty moans and made the young man thrust his hips needily up to meet Saruhiko’s hand every time. Maybe that was it. The wait was painful by now and they seemed to have reached a peak.

Eventually, Saruhiko broke the embrace and turned under the cover to retrieve the jacket that was almost hanging over the edge of the bed to fumble in the inside pocket. His hand grasped quickly the little object that had been waiting so long in here and brought it to his eyes. The bottle was new and he broke the lid instantly, tired of waiting.

“What are you—“ Misaki didn’t need to end his question. Saruhiko turned over again between his legs, his right hand fingers coated with a slick substance. The young man’s apprehension mixed in the atmosphere made Saruhiko’s heart squeeze painfully. Although, Misaki nodded, his legs shifting enough to give Saruhiko the room he needed as he lay down again, trembling slightly.

Saruhiko observed him, gnawing at his bottom lip. The young man seemed adamant in looking only at the celling now. It was obvious he was afraid, and Saruhiko didn’t need to _feel_ it to know it.

Leaning again into him, he pressed a slow and gentle kiss on his lips – nothing as wild and hungry as the dozens of previous ones – and his hand moved between the skater’s legs. When Misaki parted his lips to welcome his tongue, Saruhiko pushed slowly a first finger into him. They both tensed at the foreign contact and maybe the bite on Saruhiko’s tongue wasn’t planned and a bit violent, but Saruhiko didn’t mind. He kept pushing as slowly as he could and waited even longer for Misaki to relax. “I won’t break,” Misaki cringed when he waited too long.

Saruhiko pulled out and repeated the motion for some time before he added another finger, Misaki’s nails digging viciously in his skin every time when it wasn’t a ferocious bite. Each of them was followed by a guilty “Sorry” Saruhiko answered to with a reassuring kiss.

When he moved in a third finger and crooked them differently, though, the reaction changed totally. Misaki’s eyes flew open and he didn’t apologize when he scratched Saruhiko’s shoulder blade.

“Enough,” he breathed out, pushing away the arm between his legs. Saruhiko’s throat went dry and he couldn’t resist but crook his fingers one more time. Misaki pushed him harder and a hand suddenly circled the dark spirit’s neglected and painful arousal. This time, he didn’t ask the red head to wait. He’d feel guilty later. Saruhiko removed his fingers and retrieved the bottle to coat himself with the slick substance, shivering from the sheer pleasure, but Misaki was pulling him down again, needy and clingy.

A flash of fear crossed him but it was too late for Saruhiko. He was already lost and when he found Misaki’s entrance and his boyfriend arched his own back to take him in, he could do nothing but suppress a cry and tear the sheets under his hands. Misaki muffled a cry too behind his hand. Saruhiko saw the tears at the corners of his eyes but his vision was blurry and he thought maybe he had imagined them when he stilled, hilt deep, inside of the smaller body.

A spark, that’s what started the blaze around them, and Saruhiko couldn’t care less. His cool and practical mind should have worry about the possible presence of the others in the mansion but the fact was that he couldn’t even have the tiniest thought for them.

Everything around him was Misaki. From the fire in his lungs, to the air he breathed. The boiling blood pulsing in his dead heart, the hot lips against his… Everything.

He started thrusting unconsciously when the kiss turned more insistent and Misaki’s hands urged him to move. And if these motions were pleasurable, the symphony of their hearts beating in perfect unison made him lose his mind. Saruhiko and Misaki’s tongues waltzed beautifully, their bodies danced in harmony…

“Saruhiko…” Misaki’s legs were spread wide open, his arms wrapped around the dark haired man, his neck exposed as his head lolled backward with each new powerful thrust. “I love you.”

The bedsheets were torn apart again under the Guardian’s hand who thrusted harder and stilled to steal another hungry kiss. He could devour him here and now. He loved Misaki too. He loved him so terribly it hurt.

A moment later he flipped them over and rolled his hips up into his boyfriend once again. Misaki broke the kiss and arched his back violently. Saruhiko heard his heart beating at a faster and crazier pace than ever but didn’t stop. He did it, over and over again, relishing on the moans and expressions of the red head, until what he thought would never come arrived nonetheless.

Their climax. The storm of fire ready to explode. Their hearts ready to give in and become one. He sat back against the headboard and brought Misaki closer, his hands roaming his smooth back now crossed with red marks. Then he swallowed Misaki’s moans that grew louder and louder and kept thrusting up, bringing a hand between them to touch his boyfriend too. But it seemed like the young man didn’t need it. There was only a “Saruhiko, w—wait!” And Misaki came undone, his hand tugging hard on Saruhiko’s hair as he sank back on his boyfriend’s cock, spamming deliciously.

Saruhiko followed him immediately. His mouth latched at the pulsing vein at his throat, as if he was trying to suck the life out of it, the Guardian cried and spilled himself inside his lover.

He came down from the high after several seconds, still lazily thrusting inside Misaki, when the hands tangled in his dark hair detached themselves and Misaki’s limp body collapsed against him. The jolt of dread came back. “Are you alright?” he hastened to ask.

Misaki nodded exhaustedly against the bogeyman’s neck. His heart was pulsing slowly and heavily against Saruhiko’s chest and it was clear the young man did his best to keep his arms around the other’s shoulders. He was drained off his energy. “You need to rest,” Saruhiko said, the guilt staining his voice. “I’m taking you home.”

Misaki didn’t exactly answered, sliding next to him and straight onto the mattress. The peaceful look on his face could mean only one thing, he was dozing off slowly. Saruhiko did his best to stay calm and disappeared in the bathroom, retrieving a towel and came back to clean the young man enough. He couldn’t care less about the sheets though. They were destroyed, he realized.

Not just stained. Saruhiko had torn them apart, and he was almost surprised they weren’t burnt.

After putting his clothes back on, he dressed Misaki back too and all this time, the young man never quite reacted. He breathed and his heart was beating and thus, he was out of danger… But he was exhausted.

Saruhiko carried him in his arms carefully and back to his own flat after casting a spell to give the room back a decent appearance. Then he put Misaki back to bed and lay next to him for some minutes. Misaki wasn’t moving, just breathing peacefully. It felt unreal.

Saruhiko wasn’t even sure what they had just shared was real. He leant closer and kissed him chastely on the lips. “I love Misaki, too,” he whispered eventually. Misaki didn’t say anything, his eyes didn’t open. But his hand, caught in Saruhiko’s one since they had come back to his apartment, squeezed back harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not quite satisfied... I rewrote it totally at some point... I hope it'll be good enough! Thank you for all the kind words until now! *-*


	16. 18 yo - Down the rabbit hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “C’mon on! We’re doing it or what?” Impatient Misaki was always so impatient.
> 
> “Just calm down,” Saruhiko drawled, ignoring the hot feeling creeping at the back of his neck. He was so adorable, like the big child he was.
> 
> Then Misaki jumped in the stairs and started running with a dumb smile and Saruhiko felt something was off; knowing very well it came from him. “Don’t run, you’ll trip,” he heard himself say in a whisper Misaki never heard and the next second, the situation slipped out of control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support for the last chapter. And welcome back to those who avoid that smut. You didn't miss anything regarding the plot, I promise :)  
> BEWARE: this chapter is... definitely angsty. I promise after this one we will return to a very lighter touch, with happiness, fluff, and fun things (I hope, but I seriously doubt my sense of humor lol)
> 
> Enjoy your reading <3

More than seven months had passed since that first time. Seven months. And almost ten that they were a thing. Their routine had slightly changed (and it wasn’t only related to the fact that sex was now a part of the things they did when they were together) but Saruhiko had somehow reorganized his schedule. He still couldn’t avoid his first purpose in life – and didn’t want to – even if the magical connection they shared now boosted his powers up enough for him not to dread about fading away again.

Now, they sometimes spent time together during the days, when Misaki could tell him when he had free time… But they never got out of the apartment. Not yet. Saruhiko had been against it so long even if it technically wasn’t a problem. After all, he knew he was able to leave a place, even though he had remarked in the past that that could weaken him if he didn’t get to feed on enough emotions… But with Misaki by his side, it should be ok. And now, the big day had come.

 _Misaki’s eighteenth birthday_. Or the day after actually, but they have agreed on this. After a heated argument though.

Misaki’s friends had thrown a party for him the last night and thanks to Kamamoto’s clumsiness, what was supposed to be a surprise party was known by Misaki days in advance. Thus, he had been able to tell Saruhiko that his friends had planned on taking him to the bar they spent a lot of time in to celebrate his birthday. Saruhiko had been very, very displeased by the thought. He wanted to spend that night with Misaki. It was his 18th birthday after all, something truly important. But, then, even if he didn’t understand that notion of friendship, he could see why Misaki also wanted to spend time with these guys. They made him happy.

Passed the jealousy and the possessiveness, Misaki had successfully hammered into that stubborn brain that even if he loved Saruhiko and wanted to be only with him, he also had a life and other people that mattered to him… It was something really difficult to process, and even now, Saruhiko still wasn’t keen on discussing it, avoiding the subject most of the time and only feeding on Misaki’s bright smile when he came back from a good day with his _friends_. But he also trusted him. He had faith in him enough to try hard and bury most of his insecurities.

Misaki had tried to convince him to join the party. There were beds at HOMRA’s bar since the owner and a friend of him lived there. But Saruhiko had been adamantly against it. No fucking way. It would have been too weird. Misaki couldn’t possibly talk with him without looking like he had gone mental and there was no way Saruhiko would sit in a corner, just _watching_ while his boyfriend had fun with someone else. Plus it was the middle of summer and he knew Kamamoto was back to his hot-self and FUCK NO, he didn’t need to remember that or he would definitely be in the worst of mood to meet his hot headed boyfriend.

And they didn’t need to kill the mood. Tonight was a big night. Saruhiko had eventually agreed on one of the oldest requests Misaki had ever made. Going out. Outside of this apartment. As in they would walk outside, and hang out and spend time together around the city, not the flat.

At first he had been very reluctant. Fooling around in the backyard of Misaki’s family house was ok. Nobody could see them, thus nobody could see Misaki acting oddly and talking alone and throwing snowballs at no one. But… Going outside, in the street? They couldn’t hold hands, or the redhead would look like a weirdo. Talking would have to wait for them to be alone… They couldn’t exactly share a meal, so Misaki would have to sit alone at a restaurant?... No, no, and no!

Saruhiko had even started to freak out all over again about the “ _Misaki will be fed up about that awkward situation and abandon me because he can’t have a normal relationship with me_!” issue. But the young man had been there, patiently listening to the storm, then smoothing it.

“I don’t give a shit! What’s a normal relationship anyway? I don’t want it, I want you dumbass! Let me be fucking happy and have what I want!” he had said heatedly.

Saruhiko had immediately countered, desperate and scared “So you want people to think you’re always alone, or acting weird or…”

“ _Shut uuuuuuuuuuuup_! Dammit! Saru we went through this already! I don’t give a shit about what they think! I thought you wanted me to be happy! I’m fucking telling that’s _how_ I’m happy! Can’t you understand that?!”

And that had been it. Saruhiko had eventually agreed on it, and also tried to reason himself. Misaki had been so loving during the rest of the night, it had actually worked quite well.

Now things were different. Back to the wall, he had no choice but to roll with it, but he still was very nervous when he crawled out of the shadows under the bed.

It was something past ten, and Misaki was waiting for him like usual. Except not. He could feel from the atmosphere around them that things weren’t just the same as usual.

Misaki was overflowing with sheer excitation. It struck him hard when the bogeyman got up and looked around. The redhead seemed to be ready already, wearing a pair of black shorts and a red and black tee-shirt. Saruhiko loved to see Misaki in summer clothes. Though, for some weird reason, he liked him even better in winter clothes, all wrapped up in his coat and beanie and… Whatever, that was cool too, and showed some skin, which wasn’t bad at all. And, dammit, no one had told him Bogeymen had to deal with hormones.

Misaki’s face was glowing with his brightest smile too. Saruhiko’s chest ached from that sight and he felt slightly better.

The young man strode toward him and took him in his arms instantly, his eyes lightening even more when he saw him. That was so endearing, Saruhiko was near to try and convince the redhead to stay home and occupy their time differently…

“Hi, Saruhiko!” Misaki breathed out happily, nuzzling his cheek.

“Hey birthday boy,” the dark spirit replied, almost mockingly, kissing his temple and returning the embrace.

“You ready?” the skater asked, stepping back to take a glance at the bogeyman.

Saruhiko frowned and shrugged. “Well it’s not like I need to put my coat on or something, is it?”

“Aaaah someone’s grumpy!” Misaki nudged him in the ribs and smiled fondly. _The traitor_ , Saruhiko was going to fall for it, for sure. “The night is pretty warm though, maybe it’ll warm you up too. Maybe you’ll even be nice and sweet! Neee~ Saruhiko?” the redhead laughed happily and turned away.

“Tsk. Cut it, idiot,” Saruhiko drawled.

“Close enough,” Misaki chuckled and opened the door of the flat, grabbing a backpack that was sitting near it and his board.

Saruhiko braced himself and took a deep breath, stopping just before the door. Outside the night was clear, the sky was a beautiful and deep blue, almost black but not quite with all of Tokyo lights glowing and yet a star or two blinked lazily at them. He could do it, for Misaki. For them. It was nothing. After all, he was the fucking bogeyman and— “Mi—Misaki?” Suddenly, a hand had appeared next to him and grabbed the dark spirit’s one, pulling gently on it.

And Misaki was there, standing before him with a gentle and confident smile. “Come on Saruhiko. If it’s us, I’m sure we can take over the world. That can’t scare you, right? After all, you’re the fucking bogeyman, ain’t ya?”

“I—“ The truth was Saruhiko found himself at a loss for words. The fingers around his own pressed more firmly and Misaki pulled on his hand again but all Saruhiko could think about when he stepped out of the flat was the warmth flooding in his chest and whole body. _Love_ , that stupid feeling was taking over him again.

Eventually he dragged his leather boots on the floor and to the balcony that circled Misaki’s floor. They were on the first floor actually and Misaki, relieved that the dark spirit had followed him, let go of his hand and led him to the stairs at the end of the long balcony.

The place wasn’t exactly fancy. Actually, no doubt it was the only place you could afford when you had ran off your parents’ place and worked on shift in restaurants and bars. The concrete was full of cracks under their feet and the iron stairs weren’t exactly welcoming. But Misaki seemed to be happy like that. The street beneath them was poor lighted and currently, a stray dog was searching in the bins in a corner. The faint murmur of the surrounding was pierced by the cars honking and some laughter or cry in the distance. The redhead was right, the night was warm. There was no reason to feel ill-at-ease.

“C’mon on! We’re doing it or what?” Impatient Misaki was always so impatient.

“Just calm down,” Saruhiko drawled, ignoring the hot feeling creeping at the back of his neck. He was so adorable, like the big child he was.

Then Misaki jumped in the stairs and started running with a dumb smile and Saruhiko felt something was off; knowing very well it came from him. “Don’t run, you’ll trip,” he heard himself say in a whisper Misaki never heard and the next second, the situation slipped out of control.

There was a loud crack, and a strangled yelp and more crushing noises and some glass shattering but it was difficult to hear it for Saruhiko when his ears buzzed the way they did. The time seemed to freeze in a second, and actually, the whole perimeter froze literally. The darkness engulfed them as well. The street lamps bulbs had exploded all around, but that, Saruhiko didn’t noticed it either. He was looking below him in horror. His hand gripping the banister was stuck to it, prisoner from a layer of ice running along the cold metal.

Saruhiko’s heart wasn’t only dead in his chest, it seemed like it had been crushed and the shards were digging painfully in his lungs, his ribcage… He couldn’t breathe, staring and unable to move, at Misaki who had fell in the stairs and was now lying on the concrete floor. His skateboard had crashed several feet away from him, a wheel turning on itself in the void, mocking the universe.

That only lasted a couple of seconds, that storm of fear and ice, and the moment it actually kicked in, the moment Saruhiko’s brain caught up and he was near to give in to panic, Misaki moved. He saw it even in the dark.

The young man moved, pulling himself into a sitting position with some effort and a groan. And not only did he moved, but he started to laugh. He started to laugh like nothing bad had just happened. Like the dark spirit hadn’t thought for a second that he was dead. He laughed sheepishly still on his rear, already turning toward the stairs and looking up, searching for Saruhiko.  

The bogeyman lost it right there. The ice imprisoning his hand cracked when he tore it out and he brought it to his temple. His other hand repeated the motion and the slender figure shrunk on itself. The last second, he was exhaling a sigh from beyond the grave and curled up on the floor at the top of the stairs. He couldn’t believe he was able to breathe again, and it didn’t matter. His eyes were shut tight painfully and his hands pressed on his temples like they were trying to crush his skull but there were those images… A flow of images he needed to block. He needed to get them out of mind. Invisible claws where tearing his insides and he had no idea how to fight those either.

The truth was Saruhiko was suffocating and regretted the brief instant when he hadn’t been able to breathe anymore.

It probably didn’t took long to Misaki to realize something was wrong because loud steps clashed in the stairs soon after, though it still felt like an eternity to the dark spirit.

A hand pushed his shoulder when the young man almost fell over him, landing on the floor abruptly to shake him. “Saru?! Saruhiko? Oi! Saru what’s happening!”

A hand covered the one that had frozen the banister and suddenly Misaki hissed, taking his hand off instantly. “Fuck that’s cold! Saruhiko come on! Snap out of it, you’re freaking me out! What happened?!”

The bogeyman couldn’t talk, he couldn’t answer, too focused on the manic laugh resounding inside his head. He let himself be dragged into a sitting position against the guardrail but couldn’t open his eyes nor take his hands away. _He was laughing so hard. And Saruhiko’s stomach was doing odd flips as he fell into the void all over again._

“Saruhiko! Pull yourself together please!” Misaki’s voice – as piercing and loud as it was – was too weak to surpass the manic cackling invading Saruhiko’s mind. He vaguely registered the boy was trembling, his teeth chattering but that vanished into the distance too.

 _His chest felt hollow. Briefly though. It wasn’t long before he felt nothing at all anymore, and the laugh piercing his ears disappeared along with that uncomfortable feeling. The pain, the terror, it had been so brief it felt like a dream already. Only that voice couldn’t be one, a dream. For it felt too real and if it wasn’t, it had to be a_ nightmare _. It was the voice haunting him night after night. The voice hunting him down day after day. The laughter that meant he’d have a sleepless night, the cackling that meant he was to suffer again… The voice that had the power to turn his whole existence into true despair. It was his ghosts’ voice, how his biggest fear sounded. The sound he had tried to run away from one time too many. The sound he had run away from so many years, until the day he ran down the stairs._

“Saruhiko… fuck’s sake! Please!”

_“Saruhiko… Come down stair! Please!” His teeth gritted painfully, his jaw set, because hearing this voice only inspired distress and apprehension. “Come on monkey! Why won’t you come out! It’s dangerous to stay there!” The voice was chanting again and Saruhiko, curling up under his covers, wanted to cry the only danger here was the man talking right now and causing his despair. “My monkey is smarter than that! You already know that the fire burn, don’t you? I showed you. So why won’t you come out?” Blocking out those meaningless words was all he could try to do, ignoring the memories flooding back to him, the fire and the laughter, the pain and… “Aren’t you feeling hot up there? My little monkey is going to roast!” Don’t listen, don’t let him… “The house is on fire again…”_

“Open your eyes! Saruhiko!”

_“Why don’t you open your eyes and come to see the firework from outside instead?” Even when told too many lies, there’s only a limit to what a child can block from the person that is supposed to be a loving one. And the doubt and the paranoia are seeds growing slowly but surely once they’re rooted deep… The voice cut through the room again. Running was the only choice left to him, the only escape. The last escape. And Saruhiko ran straight into the trap, falling into the rabbit hole to escape the big bad wolf. Falling into the stairs to escape his own personal nightmare._

A pair of freezing lips were crushed against his own, bruising them.

_The thin cord was still vibrating at the top of the stairs when his heart stopped abruptly at the bottom of his chest._

The heartbeat hammering against his ribcage was crushing but signaling him painfully he was alive somehow.

_The day his heart stopped again an eternity later, years later in the world he had already left, he was already long gone._

His heart didn’t stop beating anymore, racing inside his chest, the blood pulsing through his veins as Misaki pressed their lips desperately together. If he had gone a long time ago, _this_ was real. Saruhiko was there, and Misaki was too, real, and alive, kissing the air out of him, sharing everything he had to bring him back.

Just like that, he snapped out of it and opened his icy blue eyes abruptly, going stiff and gasping violently. The young man before him fell over on his ass, looking at him as if it was the first time he saw him. A second later, the redhead was all over him again, though. Saruhiko tried to breathe the best he could, still gasping for air. The dead heart in his chest continued to beat, slower and slower, as their kiss faded into a memory again.

“Fuck Saruhiko! What was that? Are you hurt?” Misaki was cupping his cheeks and checking on his eyes thoroughly. He probably wanted to make sure they shone as brightly as ever. Then he kissed him again square on the mouth. A sloppy kiss Saruhiko met, realizing suddenly how much he needed to cling to this man desperately.

“Let’s go back inside for now,” the redhead offered, pulling him on his feet without waiting for an answer. Saruhiko let him do, not trusting himself to move on his own. He was still processing what had just happened and had to fight the remnant of the terror slowly receding.

The door clicked shut behind him and Misaki led him to the bed, sat him there and knelt in front of him, taking his hands and holding them tightly. He seemed to have figured out something on his own and was frowning. The concern in his eyes made Saruhiko’s cheeks heat up unpleasantly.

“What just happened… Saruhiko, I know you wouldn’t talk about it but…” the redhead’s voice was tentative and careful. “You never told me how it happened.”

“Give me a moment,” the bogeyman eventually spoke, hating how husky his voice was.

Misaki nodded and left him there, heading for the bathroom instead and pulling his tee-shirt off in the process. There he grabbed a towel he soaked in water and a first aid kit. Saruhiko looked up and saw the scratches and light cuts over his arm and lower back, marking his skin temporarily. There would be bruises soon too.

But only that. A couple of scratches and bruises. It happened every day, after all, people falling in the stairs and bouncing back on their feet, laughing of themselves and returning to their lives.

Only a few of them were pushed into those stairs, and fewer were the ones cruelly led to believe their house was on fire so they’d rush and miss the cord taut at the top of the stairs. Tripping downstairs… wasn’t always funny but sure wasn’t the occasion to experience a stress and terror violent enough to cause a heart failure. That shouldn’t lead someone to fall into a coma. No little boy on earth should be hunted down and weakened enough to experience that, but it seemed like all the little boys weren’t as lucky.

And Saruhiko had never been the lucky type. Not during his life at least. The only peace he had found when he was alive had been those eight years of coma. At least he could eventually rest now, far away from the laughter that kept him awake, that ruined his appetite and that made him hide from everything and everyone. That laughter that had destroyed everything, including him.

Misaki came back after some times. He had taken a shower, took back the abandoned backpack and skateboard and changed his clothes for a pair of sweatpants and a plain white shirt.

He crawled on the bed and dropped next to the dark spirit, resting his head against his shoulder after taking the bat-shaped bow away. Then he grabbed one of his hand and began caressing it, intertwining their fingers with extra-care.

Saruhiko sighed heavily, leaning into the caress. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s too—“ Misaki cut himself off, not sure how to continue this.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” The redhead straightened and gave him a puzzled look. “About what?”

Saruhiko closed his eyes, resisting the urge to click his tongue. He was too tired anyway. “I over-reacted. I just thought… I thought you were dead. I feel so stupid now,” he spat, and it costed him a lot to say it aloud.

“And I’m not so it’s ok. But I know that’s not it, right? There’s something else. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have. Over-reacted I mean.” The young man didn’t sound angry, just concerned.

“Misaki is safe, that’s all that matters,” Saruhiko said and he pulled his boyfriend against him and fell backward so they would lie on the mattress.

“Not really…” the young man said, without pushing things too far either and simply resting his head against the dark spirit’s chest. It didn’t feel hollow anymore.

There was some silence for a moment, then Saruhiko circled Misaki’s body tighter. That hot headed boy was patient, very patient despite all the Guardian’s antics. He always waited for Saruhiko to be ready, so maybe he could give in for once.

“I fell down some stairs,” Saruhiko said eventually, tasting bitterness at the tip of his tongue, burning the back of his throat. He waited for a moment before he could gather the strength and the simple words that followed. “Someone—Someone tricked me. I had a heart attack…” Misaki’s hands clenched on his suit, almost tearing it. Saruhiko could feel the redhead’s heart beat wildly; an ironic reaction to that story. The young man didn’t breathe anymore. “I was young and I fell into a coma. I didn’t—“

 _I never made it back_. But the truth was, Saruhiko had never wanted to make it back, deep down. There was nothing in life, nothing that could have even started to match what afterlife had brought to him.

“I’m sorry,” he heard the words, Misaki choked on them, hiding his face against Saruhiko’s chest and, if the dark spirit wasn’t mistaking, he bit back a sob too. He held him even closer.

They stayed like that a bit longer, Misaki visibly fighting a storm of emotions Saruhiko could feel himself. Then, with an uneven voice he asked “Saruhiko… Does—did it hurt?”  

The dark spirit thought again about the crushing pain he had felt when he had thought Misaki was dead, lying on the ground just a few meters away. How maddening it had been. The sensation of being torn apart from the inside.

Slowly, lovingly, Saruhiko nuzzled the red hair and inhaled deeply the sent he had fell in love with over the years. “There are worst things, believe me. Misaki.”


	17. 18 yo - Worthy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No! He had a plan! He had come here with a plan to be a better boyfriend! To make up for being so lame. Not to make out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't post in such a long time :/ I actually was getting a bit unconfident over this fiction and the readers reactions but I guess I'm fine now <3  
> I'm sad though... Because there's not many chapters left. I'd say 3 or 5... 5 being the max... Then it'll be the end. Thought I'd warn you.  
> Thank you to the amazing persons showing their support!

Saruhiko _sucked_. He really sucked at this. Being a boyfriend. What kind of boyfriend actually showed up on the night of their beloved one’s birthday and ended up telling the nice story of their cruel death? Even with that I-am-a-Bogeyman-not-exactly-knowing-how-to-do-things-as-mundane-as-dating matter, there was no denying he had messed up. Saruhiko was fucking lame. So fucking lame, and he hated himself. And he was totally back at lying on his bed, face buried in the pillows, to sulk like a teenage girl and it didn’t help that the pillows smelled like Misaki and—“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck! Of all things,” he groaned, rolling his eyes despite having them closed, which was a performance in itself.

And that’s when someone knocked at the door lightly but firmly. There was a slight chance that the person knocking might be his boss, so he bit back the _get the fuck away_ and said nothing instead. It was the end of the day, almost nine o’clock, and the night was beginning and soon he’d have to go back to Misaki since they hadn’t had spent the following day with each other and he couldn’t exactly avoid his boyfriend after telling him _that_ story as a birthday gift.

“Are you, by any chance, alone in there today Fushimi-kun?”

At these words, Saruhiko sat up at the speed of light, his body going stiff and his mind blanking. _What?_ What did this possibly mean?

“Of course I am!” he answered sternly and almost congratulated himself internally for how amazing he was at hiding his panic attack right now.

A second later, Munakata stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him. Of course. He was welcomed by a gloomy, stern and steady gaze opposite to his agreeable smile. Approaching the bed, the head of the bogeymen seemed to consider it for a moment, as if considering sitting on it, but he didn’t. Saruhiko could swear there was a hint of smugness in that stupid smile. How embarrassing. How—but again he knew he couldn’t act all surprised. Munakata always figured everything out on the end. There was no way he wouldn’t figure _that_.

“I was just making sure you were doing fine, Fushimi-kun,” said the head of the bogeyman. “You’ve been disappearing quite a lot recently. And I have to thank you for your consideration. Since that last time, that aisle of the mansion never suffered from the cold again. Actually, it would be the contrary.”

Fuck. _Fuckfuckfuckfuck_. Saruhiko wasn’t stupid, he was incredibly smart and fast, and that made it twice more embarrassing when he understood that kind of innuendos so fast.

Of course that part of the mansion would suffer from _heat_. He hadn’t figured out how to control the storm of fire Misaki and himself created every time they were too close and their Centers communicated. If he was Misaki, Saruhiko would have flushed stupidly, thinking about the times they had made love in the bed he was sitting on right now. Fortunately, Munakata couldn’t read that on his face right now. But that didn’t mean he didn’t know.

“Fushimi-kun,” Munakata started again, after a long silence. “I’m afraid I lied. I’m here because there’s a matter I want to discuss with you.”

“A matter,” Saruhiko stammered, feeling incredibly uneasy. The conversation began to be dangerous. He could tell; and yet, Munakata kept smiling peacefully.

“Don’t worry! I didn’t mean to make you worry. Maybe I choose the wrong words. I think it’s wise to say you’re the most intelligent of my men. Actually, I feel like I only overpower you because my Center is more powerful. But regarding the rest, you and I are equal. Thus, I expect you to already know what I want to discuss and to understand what I will say to you, Fushimi-kun.”

“I won’t stop,” Saruhiko simply stated, warily. He knew he was cornered. Munakata knew, Munakata wanted to talk about it and the answer was simple: he wasn’t going to stop to see Misaki. Never in this life or any other.

Munakata’s serious face adorned now a quite smile. Finally, he choose to sit at the edge of the bed, crossing his legs elegantly.

“Did I ask you to?” he said.

“No. But like you said. I’m not stupid. And I’m giving you an answer: no. I won’t stop. I’ll meet this person again; and I’ll keep doing it, powers or not.”

For a moment, Munakata said nothing, only smiling gently and looking straight at Saruhiko. It was unpleasant, feeling like his gaze was piercing through his skull. But he never dropped his gaze.

“I wouldn’t want you to,” the head of the bogeymen eventually said.

_What?_

“What?”

“What is it Fushimi-kun? You thought I came here today to ask you to stop meeting Yata Misaki-kun? It’s his name, isn’t it?”

And that was like a big slap across the face. Saruhiko blinked rather stupidly for a couple of seconds before mastering his emotions again. “You didn’t?”

“No. Although I’m not encouraging you, I certainly won’t ask you such a thing.”

That… wasn’t what the young bogeyman expected. He had imagined this day many times, too often… The day when he’d be discovered and asked to precisely abandon Misaki and everything he represented for him. But it wasn’t happening like that at all.

Munakata seemed to understand Saruhiko couldn’t utter a word, because he went on, as calm as ever. “It would be more of an advice. Although, I don’t know if I can call it like that. I just praised your intelligence, and I’m sure by now you will have considered all the possibilities and the problematics surrounding that relationship.”

There was no denying it, it would be pointless and a complete waste of time. Thus, Saruhiko simply answered a “Yes, I did. I’m well aware of what it means.”

“As excepted coming from you, Fushimi-kun,” Munakata praised, bowing his head lightly. “Thus, you _know_ that this boy is a human and will age while you remain just what you are now: a spirit, with duties, responsibilities and obligations toward others and yourself.”

It hurt. Even if his boss wasn’t using any hard words and was even lightly smiling while talking, it still hurt coming from someone else. It was real. _Painfully real_.

“But you’re also part human, deep down. You’re still able to feel, no matter what you thought all these years before meeting Yata Misaki-kun. And it seems like you even fell in love. A big word, isn’t it? Love?” he added, when Saruhiko’s body stiffened again noticeably.

“This boy has a center. He’s powerful. And you felt drawn to him, and it was only a matter of time before you also felt…”

“Stop. Stop it.” Saruhiko’s fists were clenched on his knees. “I know that already. All of it,” he cringed.

“But you’re still willing to endanger yourself,” Munakata stated. It wasn’t sad, it was curious.

“I don’t endanger myself,” Saruhiko defended himself instantly. We share something. Power. It prevents me from losing any power. When I’m with him…”

“I am not talking about that, Fushimi-kun.”

“Then what?” he snapped. “I’m not abandoning my duties either. I still do my job, I—“

“I know all that very well Fushimi-kun. I’m not here to blame you, again.”

“Well, it sounds like it,” Saruhiko said, almost pouting. “Sir.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong. I’m just worrying. What I’m trying to say is that if you keep seeing him, and your feelings keep growing, eventually you will—“

“I. know. that. ALREADY!” Saruhiko cut him off again, almost shouting, and blushed immediately.

Munakata’s mouth twitched.

“He will grow old while you remain yourself, invisible to his world and eternally young. I’m not saying you should retreat from something as beautiful as this story. But roses are beautiful too and I don’t need to remind you how badly they can hurt sometimes too.”

Saruhiko jumped off his bed, feeling nauseous. In a flash, he was at his door, and opened it without a word. Then he turned toward his boss and talked: “I’m not even sure I appreciate your concern, but I guess I need to thank you, sir. Now, if we’re done, there’re places I need to go to and I wouldn’t want to keep you busy here either.”

Munakata, as polite as ever, got to his feet and joined him at the door. “I do am concerned, Fushimi-kun. And I wouldn’t want you to be hurt. I think each and every one of you here already suffered a life and a death ugly enough. Keep that in mind.”

Then he stepped outside the room and closed the door himself. Saruhiko immediately leant against it, gulping loudly and breathing hard. That had been intense and he couldn’t help but feel the uneasiness creeping down his spine. But despite the unpleasant feeling, when he plunged under the bed, there was no doubting. Nothing like that. _It was worthy. Misaki was worthy._

 

He had barely enough time to get up when he appeared in Misaki’s flat. The young man just launched himself at Saruhiko and tried to crush every bones of his skeleton in what must have been the tightest hug Saruhiko had ever received. _Worthy._

“I thought you wouldn’t come back so soon,” Misaki justified himself, his face buried in the bogeyman’s chest. “I’m grateful, though.”

Saruhiko hugged him back, nuzzling the red hair and inhaling the scent of the person he loved the most in this world. He was still ashamed because of the night before. “Of course I came back. I—I forget my wallet,” he mumbled, not letting go.

“Your wa—Saru you lame idiot! It’s ok, what happened yesterday,” he said, breaking a rib he hadn’t broken yet by crushing the bogeyman harder.

“No it’s not,” Saruhiko protested weakly.

“I’m going to punch you,” Misaki warned.

“I’d like to see you try. And then suffering from awful nightmares for the rest of your life. I can still do that, you know,” Saruhiko said with a small grin.

“Hey! That’s uncool, Saruhiko!” Misaki let go of him eventually, still holding his hands though. “And not fair at all. Don’t you dare, I warn you!”

Then he gave him a light knuckle bump in the shoulder and his hand curled around it to pull him down and kiss him. It was merely a brush, but Saruhiko felt his stomach doing the same weird things it did when they kissed like it was the last time.

“So… You wanna play some games?” Misaki offered, gesturing toward the screen.

Saruhiko then noted that it was turned on all this time, and two controllers were sitting on the kotatsu. He narrowed his eyes. “Kamamoto left a while ago, I was too lazy to clean but I guess it’s cool, now you’re here we can play.”

“Fuck no,” Saruhiko couldn’t help and didn’t feel guilty in the slightest. Saying it like that, it really stung and there was no way he was going to take on that guy’s leftovers!

Misaki rolled his eyes and turned away. “You’re a jerk,” he uttered for the millionth time in twelve years.

“Thanks for noticing, I try very hard,” the dark spirit said, bowing in a parody of formal curtesy.

“Fuck _you_ ,” Misaki added, opening the fridge.

“We’ll get to that too.”

“Goooooooood! You always have a smart comeback, don’t you?” Now he was taking some orange juice and probably more but he hadn’t the time to take anything out of the fridge. Saruhiko was in his back in an instant, plastered against him, leaning to kiss his neck and whisper in his ear “Don’t act like you don’t know that, Misaki~.”

He felt the boy shivering in his arms instantly. And if he wasn’t mistaking, _that_ just now, was a little moan Misaki had tried to keep quiet. Saruhiko pulled him closer to his body, his hands flat on Misaki’s chest and stomach. “Saruhiko…” the boy breathed out. His voice was uneven, raspy, and he visibly tried to keep his cool. Considering the temperature of the room all of a sudden, Saruhiko could tell it was a big fail.

And that was exactly what he wanted. So, when his hand travelled south and brushed the waistband of Misaki’s sweatpants and that Misaki’s hand covered his… He pulled back, stepping away from the smaller body.

It was a torture in itself but Saruhiko trusted himself to not give anything away. They had all night long to play. But right now wasn’t the time. Although Misaki clearly seemed to think it was because he turned over, leaving the door fridge hanging open, and he grabbed Saruhiko to pull him back against him. He kissed him long and hard and intense and Saruhiko didn’t exactly resist.

It wasn’t part of the plan but he didn’t regret when he pushed Misaki up against the counter and pulled him on top of it. The redhead took the cue and circled the bogeyman’s waist with his legs, locking his ankles behind him to keep him in place. That really wasn’t going where Saruhiko wanted it. But… It also was, in a sense…

No! He had a plan! He had come here with a plan to be a better boyfriend! To make up for being so lame. Not to make _out_.

But maybe they could do both? Misaki’s hand tearing his bow away and opening his jacket and vest said so.

No, keep calm, be an adult, not a horny teenager… But his dead heart pounding in his chest and trying to escape to join Misaki’s was saying the opposite too…

“Want you,” the other whispered before biting his earlobe.

Saruhiko pressed against Misaki, moaning desperately.

Well… Screw the plan. And not _just_ the plan.

 

Misaki was the last one to get out of the bathroom and Saruhiko wasn’t surprised when he saw him blushing like the virgin he totally wasn’t anymore. The redhead was looking at the kitchen counter. Saruhiko chuckled mockingly. “I guess you won’t eat for days after that. Just cooking there… Neee Misaki~, it’s going to make you die of shame, right?”

He was putting his trousers on and received a sweatshirt in the face that almost made him trip. “Next time, I’ll throw my skateboard or something like that,” Misaki said, closing the space between him and the counter, as if to prove a point. He was still crimson, though. Saruhiko smirked and buttoned his pants. Then he looked at his vest and jacket and the sweatshirt pooling at his feet.

A moment later, he grabbed it and put it over his white shirt. When his eyes met Misaki’s, the redhead gaped at him in awe. The sweatshirt fit, since the boy always wore clothes too big and oversized for him. It was black, with a hood and a pocket on the front…

“What is it?” Saruhiko asked, frowning.

“N—nothing. You can—you can keep that,” he stuttered and left to retrieve another one in his closet but the Guardian could see him smile.

He looked at the watch Misaki had left on the counter earlier. Eleven. It wasn’t so late… He still could try…

“Say, Misaki?” he said tentatively, his eyes not leaving the watch.

“Yes?” the redhead answered from the closet.

Saruhiko took a deep breathe, a hand clutching the sweatshirt he was wearing to stay focus and find some strength.

“I want to try it again,” he eventually said, averting his gaze when Misaki’s head poked out from the wardrobe to look at him in confusion.

“We just… I mean I don’t mind but we—“

With the young man blurting out words awkwardly, Saruhiko looked up and saw his boyfriend’s cheeks reddening again. Oh, right. Misunderstanding. But at least, it was kind of funny and it helped him calm down. He was a bit more confident next, when he teased him: “I didn’t mean _that_. Seriously Misaki, for a blushing virgin, you have a really dirty mind!”

“Oi!”

“I was talking about going out again,” Saruhiko blurted out before a riled up Misaki could bark at him.

There, it was said. And the silence welcoming his words made him freak out a bit, he had to admit it. Last night had been wild, maybe it was too soon.

And the fact that Misaki dived in the closet again and didn’t answer made him really uneasy. In the end, he was lame AND bad at being a boyfriend.

The torture didn’t last long, though and the redhead reappeared eventually, showing no expression whatsoever. Bad.

He walked toward Saruhiko, wearing a plain white sweatshirt with his shorts and stopped before him. That’s when Saruhiko noted the backpack. And then he was pecked on the lips abruptly. Or more like their mouths bumped awkwardly. Freaking impulsive midget.

“You sure you want to?” Misaki asked, though, pressing his fingers to his own lips.

His beautiful amber eyes were huge again, and shining and just the way they were when he got all excited. It made Saruhiko’s chest melt. And it made him _sure_.

_Worthy._

“I am. We couldn’t do it… Yesterday.”

“It’s ok, Saruhiko. It really is, ok? Stop worrying about it,” Misaki said, taking one of the bogeyman’s hand. “Don’t worry about yesterday. But I’ll be happy to try again with you tonight.”

He pressed Saruhiko’s hand in his and the bogeyman led him himself to the door. He could do it. They both could. The door was open before he realized it and Misaki stepped outside, his keys jiggling as he waited for Saruhiko to join him. He put his boots back on and threw his hands in the ventral pocket. A bit stiff and hunched on himself, he eventually joined him on the balcony.

It felt instantly cold and weird and he hugged his own shoulders, not to protect himself from the cold, but because he felt guilty and insecure. And it really was unpleasant. Misaki shivered next to him and Saruhiko realized he had probably turned the place into a gigantic freezer compartment.

“Come on,” the redhead said gently, pulling on his sleeves to bring him toward the stairs.

Saruhiko tried not to falter but he flinched when they stepped at the top of the stairs. “I know I can’t hold your hand once we’re in the streets but…” his hand slid along Saruhiko’s arm and found its place in his, holding it tightly. It felt stupid but he was glad for that little attention. The stairs weren’t going to attack them, or anything. No one was to die here and now… But it still wasn’t easy and Saruhiko was thankful for Misaki’s reassurance.

“Say… You remember that time when you did that dick move and made us fall through the window?” Misaki asked looking at the first floor under them.

Saruhiko couldn’t have possibly forget that. Never. It had been their first Valentine’s Day together. Even if at that time Misaki was fifteen and they certainly weren’t what they were now. He remembered it vividly.

“Can’t you do it again? With a warning this time?” the redhead said. “So… no stairs.”

Saruhiko smiled lightly. It was an option and his hand almost crushed Misaki’s. But… “We’re not in your parents’ backyard. There’re a lot of windows here and it’s not too late, anyone could walk in this street and see you falling over the railing. That would be messy to explain. Idiot,” he added for good measure although he was still smiling.

“Ah.” Misaki rubbed the back of his neck. “Right. I didn’t think about that.”

“Do you ever think about anything anyway?” Saruhiko teased.

“Oi! You’re lucky I’m not keen on fighting in the stairs, because…”

Saruhiko pulled on their intertwined hands and dragged him in said stairs. And that was it. They were going down. And some seconds later, Misaki let go of his skateboard on the pavement. They were in the street. For the first time, they were out of Misaki’s apartment, together.

“Fuck,” the redhead let escape. And he seemed like the happiest puppy ever. “That’s the best birthday gift ever Saruhiko!”

“Better than the skateboard?” the bogeyman asked, feeling the excitation twisting his insides as well. The surroundings weren’t cold anymore.

“Better,” Misaki said, and their hands brushed deliberately. “Ok so… How do we—where… Do you just want to walk somewhere? I think there’s a park that doesn’t close during the night not too far… Or there’s a game center? But it’ll be awkward if I play alone and the over controller moves around… with no one holding it.”

He talked fast and with some excitement but when these facts struck him, the young man also sounded disappointed, or embarrassed or… _I will never be able to give him everything_. Saruhiko’s stomach seemed to be crushed mercilessly by an iron hand.

“Hey Saruhiko. Don’t take it the wrong way, ok? This doesn’t mean I’m—unhappy. Just wondering! Can you make yourself… Visible for others? I mean even the ones who don’t… believe?” he asked sheepishly.

Saruhiko sighed and rubbed his forehead. Maybe it wasn’t a good plan. Maybe he would always be too lame, not enough…

“No. I can’t. And even if I could… Misaki, I have stiches on my cheeks. People would _stare_ and—“

“I don’t care about that! What if a bunch of fuckers _stare_?” Misaki barked back, frowning unhappily. “I get it, you can’t. But stop saying something like that! That’s a lame excuse! Are you saying I’d be ashamed to hang out with you or something?”

Surprisingly, it angered the redhead more than Saruhiko would have thought. And now, they were standing there awkwardly, looking at each other in silent, embarrassed and moody and…

“Great. Now—“

“Now _nothing_. We’re heading to the park. It’s hot and the sky is clear, it’ll be cool. Ok? Just cool,” Misaki said, and he walked past the dark spirit, bumping him purposely in the shoulder. “Come on grumpy clown, we’re moving!”

And like Saruhiko wasn’t moving, the redhead stopped in his track and looked above his shoulder. There was a smug smile on his face. “You should follow me or you’re gonna get lost and if you run into a little kid, it’ll be hard to explain why I carry a moody guardian around the city.”

“Tch!”

But Saruhiko moved along anyway. Misaki never seemed to put an act on when he said those things. Maybe Saruhiko couldn’t give him any mundane thing, but Misaki was still that little brat thinking having his own personal dark spirit was the coolest thing in the world. And Saruhiko hoped it would last forever, even if it was the silliest thing he could actually think.

They walked like that for a long time. The neighborhood wasn’t exactly the most secure one. Actually it wasn’t at all. They didn’t meet a lot of persons and they were all guys with hoods on or dark, scary look on their faces. They looked mostly dangerous, or freaky – one was talking alone – but almost every one of them gave Misaki a slight nod when he walked past them to show they had acknowledge him.

Still, when they were alone again, Saruhiko mumbled a “I don’t like these guys. Seriously what were you thinking moving in this slum.”

“What the hell! You sound like my mom.” Misaki stopped and looked at his boyfriend who was looking around, shifting his eyes incredibly fast since they had left. He clicked his tongue at the remark.

“I’m not your mother, alright? I swear all the time and I’m not going to spank you for your bad behavior,” he mumbled.

“Too bad,” Misaki said, hopping on his skateboard to get going again. Saruhiko’s eyes widened as he grinned despite himself.

“What was that Misaki?”

“Nothing,” the reply came back shyly.

“You kinky little…”

“Shut up!”

“Don’t shout! You’re supposed to be alone,” Saruhiko mocked and he followed him while chuckling like a mad man.

They walked and skated for another moment, Saruhiko silently following Misaki, in a better mood now they were out of the slum and nice fantasies crossed his mind. Sometimes, the redhead pointed at a thing or another and commented on it and it was pretty peaceful. The streets were almost empty, there weren’t many cars passing by and the night was, indeed very clear.

Who would have said it was that simple?

“There’s the park,” Misaki pointed all of a sudden, coming to a halt. And indeed, they were in front of a charming park, quite big, with late blossoming flowers appearing amongst the trees or in the middle of the big patches of grass. Lampposts were dispatched along the gravel pathways and their light casted mysterious shadows around the place but it wasn’t scary or anything. Actually, it was beautiful. The sight was almost one of a fairytale. So cute… Saruhiko could puke.

And on top of that, they seemed to be completely alone. There was no one else to be seen and Misaki probably noticed too because he took Saruhiko’s hand again and got off his board.

They waited a moment before moving forward, without knowing why. Maybe because that simple thing: stepping in the park late at night, a public space and not Misaki’s place or another house, for the first time in twelve years… Had something as scary as magical.

They took the main pathway for some time but soon, Misaki took them away to somewhere more isolated but not less beautiful. There were a lot of trees and bushes and actually even more flowers. It looked like a romantic movie they had watched once, when Misaki was sixteen. And damn what an experience. The poor boy hadn’t even made it to the end. Saruhiko chuckled at the memory.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

The redhead let go of his hand immediately and, even in the poor lighted night, Saruhiko could see the faint blush on his cheekbones. Adorable.

What was less adorable was Misaki tackling him to the ground, only catching him mere centimeters before he crashed on the ground. “Maybe,” he whispered before stretching the bogeyman out on the grass. It was more that proximity and Misaki’s tone than the fall in itself that took Saruhiko’s breath away. And lying there on the grass, the redhead propped on his elbows above him to keep some space between them, Saruhiko found himself unable to form any coherent thought.

He wanted to kiss him, was all he thought. But before his brain processed it and he acted, the boy rolled away and lay down next to him, both looking at the dark sky above them.

Saruhiko’s right hand brushed against Misaki’s left one, and he took his wrist, feeling the blood pulsing there harder and faster than he expected it. Misaki was affected as much as he was and knowing that was enough to make a lump form in his throat. He had no idea that lump wasn’t going to disappear anytime soon.

“I’m happy,” the redhead eventually said. “Saruhiko I mean it. I’m happy when I’m with you. Please…” he rolled on his side to look at the bogeyman better, using his free arm as a pillow and the other to tug lightly on a strand of dark hair. “Never leave me. Even when I become too old. I’ll try to stay—you know… I don’t want to be lame. I don’t want you to find me boring or anything. I—I think you’re amazing and I’m scared if I change too much, it won’t be ok for you. I don’t know… Aaaah man, it’s stupid!”

He squeezed his eyes shut, clearly embarrassed and stopped playing with Saruhiko’s hair. But the latter didn’t even notice. He was mesmerized by the beautiful sight Misaki offered him right now. By his words… Misaki who wore his heart on his sleeve and always spoke his feelings straightforward. His Misaki.

“Worthy,” he just breathed out and leant to brush their lips together. It was tender, and loving and his chest ached. He longed for more. Even more than earlier and even if they had made love before, even then… He just couldn’t have enough of Misaki and when the boy said things like that, Saruhiko hated to admit it, but he was completely lost. Misaki won over him a long time ago anyway. He belonged with him, to him. He was Misaki’s completely.

“What?” The young man croaked, clearly affected as well. The warmth elicited by their Centers enveloped them in a bubble neither of them ever wanted to leave.

“Nothing, _stupid_. I won’t leave you, I told you that already. I’ll just make fun of you more and more often,” he said in an attempt to lighten the mood and try to cool down a bit. It was getting too intense and they were in the middle of a fucking park. Even in the middle of the night, it wasn’t smart to get all worked up.

“Good,” Misaki just answered and he got closer, curling up against Saruhiko’s side.

Saruhiko pulled him closer and sighed contently.

“Say Saruhiko? Can we have a puppy?” Misaki voice sounded again, a few minutes later. Seriously, that guy…

“I already have one and it’s messy enough. So thanks but I’ll pass.”

“You’re not referring to me, are you?” Misaki poked him in the ribcage. “’Cause I’ll choke you!”

Saruhiko snorted. His boyfriend was just the most precious thing in the world.

“So kinky tonight, Misakiii~!”

He got a half-hearted slap matching a desperate “Oh my god! Shut UP!” and couldn’t help but roll over, on top of the redhead.

“Don’t worry. We have all night long. Once we get home, you can be kinky all you want.”

“Right! And I know someone who deserves a good spanking,” Misaki groaned before chasing after him.

And maybe he looked like a total creep, lying there in the grass, kissing a ghost above him, but, really, they couldn’t care less. All that mattered was them. Together.


	18. 19 yo - Nightmares I never forgot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misaki sighed heavily over him and looked up. When he talked again, he was looking at the ceiling, not at Saruhiko. And his cheeks were slowly beginning to be covered with a shade of clear red. Endearing.
> 
> “We were talking crap about Halloween when we were kids. And then Chitose suddenly said he remembered when he was little he was scared like a fucking pussy to go to bed for weeks because he always dreamt of a scarecrow visiting him in his sleep…”
> 
> Hidaka’s vision crossed Saruhiko’s mind in a flash but he pushed it away. The story had caught his interest. Without realizing it, his hands moved to grope Misaki’s hips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok little warning. There is smut in this chapter, though it's really **not explicit at all or detailed, but it happens** and I thought you should know this. It's Sarumi.  
>  It was a very emotional chapter too, it's part of the reason why it's not too long. It would have been too much :)

Two years. More than two years… Saruhiko wasn’t at it when he scared that little girl, although the way she screamed was funny. But he didn’t pay attention to it. He was thinking about the person he was meeting just after. _Misaki_.

It was the night after Halloween. Saruhiko felt so good already. The previous night had been full of anguish and screams. He’d liked that terribly. Even though he knew Misaki was partying with a bunch of his friends… Drinking beers with the lame excuse of being costumed like monsters or psycho killers. Right! If his boyfriend found it funny, good for him. Saruhiko hadn’t to endure it, at least, and Misaki had promised they’d have this night for them. It was good enough. The balance Misaki needed and Saruhiko agreed on too.

If it had been only him, he’d have spent the rest of the eternity just seeing Misaki. But there was that little mundane detail that prevented it… Misaki was _alive_. Healthy, safe and sound, lively… He _had_ a life and Saruhiko couldn’t stop that. It was already insane how the redhead lived for him, there wasn’t much more he could actually do for him. His job at the bar was scheduled just so Saruhiko and him had the most free time together possible… He never ever made spontaneous plan either… And Saruhiko knew it was a great sacrifice for an impulsive young man like Misaki. And still… Whenever he arrived at Misaki’s place, he was there, for him, not going around without telling the Guardian before.

It had only happened twice that Misaki was out on groceries when he arrived, and thrice that Saruhiko had showed up while there was someone else at his boyfriend’s place. In two years.

Misaki’s life was thoroughly organized around Saruhiko.

At the beginning, he had been thrilled and those emotions called excitement and overjoy nagged him and… ugh, it was lame but it felt so good! But lately, he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. It still was fine. Misaki seemed more than happy. His daily life seemed to be entertaining, he had friends, that bar where he worked and spent so much time… But those were only glimpses Saruhiko heard of when he saw him. He actually only got to see the redhead at his place though, enjoying Saruhiko but not doing anything that proved he had the great life Misaki always reassured him about…

The shriek stopped tentatively as the little girl looked up. Saruhiko frowned when he realized the room was silent again. “Oh. I spaced out, ah?” he just declared, bored with himself. The little girl gulped down. Seriously… “Boo!”

The shriek went on again and Saruhiko disappeared under her bed.

 

“Fucking finally!” Misaki shouted and the next second, Saruhiko stumbled backward as a young and strong man jumped on him, circling his waist with his legs.

And for how thin he was, it was still a chock and Saruhiko fell backward with the redhead in his arms, and straight onto the bed.

It was a good thing Misaki owned now a double bed, or else the dark spirit would have hit his head against the wall. Now they just were awkwardly tangled on the sheets in an odd silence… broken by Misaki’s chuckling.

“Finally? It’s only ten,” Saruhiko drawled, looking up at the man sprawled on top of him.

“I know but it’s Halloween! You gotta spend it all with me!” the redhead answered, his hands fumbling with Saruhiko’s jacket already.

“First it’s not Halloween. Halloween was yesterday,” the Guardian answered, rolling his eyes but unable to hide his smirk. “And _second_ … What are you doing?”

“What?” Misaki stopped unbuttoning the vest under the jacket now opened.

“I don’t know? You didn’t even say _hi_.”

“Oh! Right!” There was a slight frown made out of concentration on the adorable face, then Misaki abruptly leant into him and pecked the bogeyman on the lips. His heart jumped once. “Hi Saru!” Then the hands were roaming his chest again, attacking his shirt now.

It made a laugh bubble in Saruhiko’s throat. Always so needy and impulsive… His Misaki. “That’s not what you’re supposed to do on Halloween,” he commented, his hands finding their place on the smaller one’s hips.

“Yeah, no prob, it ain’t Halloween anyway,” the redhead admitted boldly while nipping at Saruhiko’s neck.

“You little—aw! Misaki!” The Guardian had yelped at the sudden bite on his collarbone. Whatever the redhead was up to, he was really into it. And it certainly was exciting but… “Did I—Something happened.” It wasn’t even a question. He knew Misaki well enough. 13 years. It helped.

And he could tell there was something going on.

“Nothing,” Misaki answered, nibbling at the bogeyman’s throat, just under his jaw… A killer. It was Saruhiko’s soft spot, and had him shiver instantly. Misaki knew that. Now he was sure of it… Something was on.

“Misaki,” Saruhiko tried again, an unpleasant feeling growing slowly inside him. One of his hand went to the red hair, intending to pull him away, but instead it tangled there and let the other boy devour his neck. “What is it?”

“’m happy t’see you,” he got answered.

And, yes, he could tell. Misaki was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, and it didn’t exactly lie… But there was more to that than just some excitement or happiness. “Don’t lie. You know what happen to children who—“

There was a sudden shift and the body lying on top of him froze, then…

“Fucking dammit Saru! A child? I’m trying to get you into—UGH! You won’t drop it, right?” With that, Misaki got up, straightening with a scowl on his face as he straddled the Guardian’s legs. He could’ve looked very menacing. If there wasn’t a huge tent in his boxers.

“Don’t stare!” he barked too, visibly too self-conscious. Now he was slightly angry. Saruhiko shrugged. No, there was no way he was dropping it. Even though he was eager to return to what they had started, he couldn’t help but let that dreadful feeling to lurk under his skin. Why was Misaki acting that way?

“Something happened?” Saruhiko asked again, lying flat and still under Misaki and his grumpy glare.

He didn’t touch his lover anymore, his arms on the bed and his hands near his face, as if he was mimicking a surrender.  

“Nothing _happened_ Saruhiko. It’s just… Something I realized,” Misaki eventually admitted, crossing his arms on his chest.

Saruhiko arched an eyebrow at that. He didn’t expected that and didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing yet… _So…_

“It was yesterday. We were with the guys. Y’know how it is…”

“I don’t,” Saruhiko cut him off, avoiding just in time the dryness in his voice.

Misaki sighed heavily over him and looked up. When he talked again, he was looking at the ceiling, not at Saruhiko. And his cheeks were slowly beginning to be covered with a shade of clear red. _Endearing_.

“We were talking crap about Halloween when we were kids. And then Chitose suddenly said he remembered when he was little he was scared like a fucking pussy to go to bed for weeks because he always dreamt of a scarecrow visiting him in his sleep…”

Hidaka’s vision crossed Saruhiko’s mind in a flash but he pushed it away. The story had caught his interest. Without realizing it, his hands moved to grope Misaki’s hips.

“They all started talking about the nightmares they had when they were kids and all… Some said they had always the same, with a monster or another. Eric, that smartass, said he had none. Except once he dreamt about a ghost with stiches on his face but he wasn’t scared because it was just a nightmare.”

This time, Misaki looked down, as if he wanted to verify that Saruhiko was listening. He wasn’t disappointed. The bogeyman was… very carefully. Saruhiko could feel his blood in his veins, running quietly like it wanted to hear the story too.

“They were all goddamn happy adults didn’t get any stupid dreams like that with ghosts. Kamamoto joked because now they had nightmares about paying bills or scary girlfriends. They couldn’t remember when they had stopped dreaming about monsters like the ones you see in the horror movies and not real things. Like in real life…”

There was an intensity lingering under Misaki’s words and his stare on Saruhiko that made the bogeyman unable to breath evenly now. And then the redhead bent over him, shifting again so he was propped on his elbows and arms.

“Saruhiko…” he whispered against his lips. He looked so serious, so feverish. “I know… I knew somewhere deep, that they had no idea… But they were talking about you, right? You and the others…”

Saruhiko slightly nodded. The familiar warmth starting to grow between them, just where they usually connected. “And they couldn’t remember. For them… You all were just a dream. A nightmare—I mean, you weren’t real. What they saw… They forgot it all.” Misaki oddly shocked on that last word and blinked a couple of time. His amber eyes were bright, but he wasn’t crying.

“It made me realize that… That I didn’t. I didn’t forget. I was always able to remember and I never lost you. I imagined… What if I had? What if I was like them now and just joked about the nightmares I had when I was a kid, eh? Maybe with you being there and me not knowing it. You’d still see me and all I’d think would be I had stupid dreams with a ghost too often…”

Misaki’s hands clenched on Saruhiko’s half unbuttoned shirt. He was trembling… Or was it an impression? Was it deeper? The warmth was overwhelming… “I just realized how lucky I was. How I never wanted to forget. How much I— _shit_.”

A pair of hot lips crashed over Saruhiko’s mouth all of a sudden. He didn’t answer to the kiss immediately though, still trying to process what he had just heard. And it wasn’t easy to focus when his heart was beating so loudly and a storm of fire was raging around them. It was back… It was there.

“Just made me think about how much I love you,” Misaki muttered roughly against his mouth. “I don’t understand this… But I’m so—it’s just… I’m…”

After that, there weren’t any more words, just those lips seeking for their twins and a long and passionate kiss that burnt Saruhiko to the core. He couldn’t think quite well, and had no answer to provide – he didn’t know either why Misaki had never stop believing in him. But his own thoughts echoed his lover’s words. His heart beating to life again was enough of an answer. He could feel the emotions pouring out of Misaki in the stead of the words he couldn’t tell. It was joy, happiness… It made his head spin for how strong it was. And he had made this, in a sense. It was almost too much to take in.

They couldn’t keep their hands off each other now. All Saruhiko wanted – and it seemed like it was also Misaki’s will – was to connect. When they parted for air, Misaki resumed stripping the dark spirit from his clothes eagerly. There was something desperate in his motions, Saruhiko let him, melting under him with every bite, every kiss, and every touch.

_Keep believing in me_ … He knew at some point he had said that to that little boy… Since then he had watched him grow and become that person he breathed for. He had never stopped believing. Their bond had kept growing over the years, too strong to be erased anymore. “I love you,” Saruhiko let out without even knowing it when Misaki found a place between his legs, kissing his chest and every patch of skin he could reach.

There was a pause, just mere seconds. Saruhiko could feel the hot and harsh breathing against his skin where Misaki had stopped. Then hands were on him again and he arched into the touch, moaning when his lover resumed his ministrations even more desperately.

He had no idea, back then, that dark spirits could experience those kind of feelings; that need, that desperation, that _love_ … All the things he had seen exploding at his face these past years. Things that made Saruhiko feel more alive than he had been during his previous life. When he realized it, Misaki had made them roll over, pulling him down once again into a deep kiss.

The covers were tangled half around their legs, half above them but Saruhiko didn’t mind the clumsiness. He was as eager as Misaki to show how he felt. The redhead bared his throat, exposing the tanned skin there, inviting Saruhiko to mark him. The Guardian didn’t think twice before his teeth sunk into the flesh, sucking on it, licking at it, until it was only a dark sensitive stain on that perfect neck.

He wanted it. Wanted for Misaki to know it was real, would always be. He’d always be there, and it wasn’t just a vague impression lingering somewhere near their centers. They were both together and Saruhiko was real. “Misaki.” _I’d never leave him_.

“Saruhiko. _Do it_.” It was a soft plea but it tore the silence anyway. It almost made his heart explode, almost set the place on fire. Misaki needed to know… He had to know Saruhiko was here, for him only.

Like all the other times, their hearts beat like one through it. But it had been a long time, a very long time, since the last time Saruhiko abandoned himself like that. They all had been full of love, some had been rough, others had been clumsy or sweet. This time, it was different. They didn’t make love. It was beyond this. It was different.

Misaki’s hand squeezed Saruhiko’s hard against the mattress. Their mouths were swollen, bruised even but their bodies still danced together in perfect sync. They quickly lost track of time, of everything around them. Saruhiko could only see and feel what was Misaki and what they shared.

And they consumed it until the last moment. All went to those raging flames, to that passion Misaki embodied. Saruhiko’s heart ached, his head was spinning, his body was strained, and yet when it came to an end, it wasn’t enough. He wanted to feel more. His lover provided it when he reached his climax right after him.

They collapsed at the same time too, still moving like one man. Saruhiko slipped next to Misaki, his panting and hard breathing ringing into his ears while he tried to even his own respiration but his chest heaved hard. He was drained physically but the emotions he had took in… It was almost unbearable.

He fumbled for a moment to find Misaki’s hand and was relieved to see he hadn’t gone completely limp. He didn’t dare look at him yet, too scared he had passed out. This had been too intense, too… “Perfect.” A husky voice peeked next to him, muffled by a pillow.

Saruhiko turned his head and found the redhead exhausted but well alive, lying in the same position than he was and glancing at him sideway. There was a sated smile spread on his face. He radiated with things that made Saruhiko’s insides melt once again.

“’Gon’ die…”

At that, the bogeyman snugged closer to Misaki. He couldn’t even begin to feel guilty. “Do you want a glass of water?” he asked, and found out his own voice sounded all raspy.

Misaki attempted to shake his head but even that seemed to cost him a lot. “I’m so—“

“Don’t go apologizing, jeez!” Misaki scolded him, dragging himself on the mattress to drop on Saruhiko’s back lazily.

“You’re sure you’re—“

“I’m fine Saruhiko. Not getting used to it…” There was a soft kiss pressed on one of the Guardian’s shoulder blade. “But I’m alright. Actually… more than fine.”

There still was a faint heartbeat that lasted between them. Saruhiko turned over, allowing Misaki in the circle of his arms. “I’m not gonna last, though…” the redhead added sleepily.

“I could tell,” Saruhiko immediately teased out of habit.

Seemed like it rested enough strength in Misaki to nudge him in the chest. “What the fuck Saru!’ he growled. “As if I was—“

“Oi calm down, I was joking.”

“Yeaaaaaaaaah—“ the young man yawned this time, unable to hold a real grudge.

“You can’t sleep, we have to shower…”

“I can’t. You killed me. I said nice things to you, and you tried to murder me, the f—“ Saruhiko silenced him by pecking him on the lips.

“Don’t… don’t ruin that, please,” he asked, averting his gaze. Those words were still printed in his brain and even if they were joking in the blissed-out state they were now, this still had something serious and too important for Saruhiko to ruin it. Misaki seemed to understand it because he gave him a sheepish smile and added nothing.

“Come with me?” he asked, nodding at the bathroom door, a minute later.

There wasn’t discussing it.

They just showered though. For a long time. They kept silent almost all the time too, just enjoying the burning hot water on their sore bodies, hugging here and then but that was it. It still felt too deep, too recent, and neither of them knew how to go back to normal yet.

It came back later during the night, after Misaki turned the console on and proposed a new game to Saruhiko. The bogeyman was out of it enough to be defeated twice, which was rare enough for Misaki to notice he was still thinking about what he had said.

“You know, I wonder… When I’ll get older and all… What if it really _kills_ me? You know? Like I have a weak heart cause I’m old and _bam_ ,” Misaki slammed his hand on the kotatsu next to his plate.

Saruhiko casted him an insufferable look. “Really? That’s all you have in mind right now?”

Misaki started to laugh. “Well no, but your face was priceless! You were spacing out, I had to find something.”

“And you thought about something gross and seedy,” Saruhiko muttered. “How romantic!”

“Sorry, can’t be too much of that in one night…” the redhead half-groaned back. He was averting his gaze now, pushing his food with the tip of his chopstick to cover his showing embarrassment. It made Saruhiko’s heart tighten in his chest. Then Misaki cleared his throat awkwardly and…

“I still freaking love you, though.”

Fuck, he did too.


	19. 19 yo - Living is already a fatal condition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he crawled out of under Misaki’s bed, the place was pitch black. There wasn’t any light on. No TV on. Nothing. The door was closed too, like the only window of the little flat. No one seemed to have broken in. And, actually, he couldn’t hear Misaki’s respiration or feel any human emotion. The place was void.
> 
> He didn’t breath any easier nonetheless. Actually, a cold shiver ran down his spine. The bogeyman could see the room as if in broad daylight and knew Misaki wasn’t there, that no one had tried to sneak in this place… But it didn’t mean his boyfriend was safe.
> 
> The aggression. Two casualties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bit sad... After this chapter, there will be only **two** left. I don't want to let go of this AU and verse but... yes, the main story is about to end. Ah, it's an odd feeling! I hope you will enjoy it nonetheless!

“Where did the Captain go?” Goto was leaning against a big sideboard on which sat huge blue flowers.

“He had to meet with Awashima and the others. The heads of the Guardians or something,” Fuse answered with that usual neutral tone.

Saruhiko barely acknowledged their presence when he crossed the corridor. Goto looked like a stylish skeleton when Fuse wore an outfit that made him look like a dark wizard from a comic book. 

“Eh Fushimi-san!” Goto called him. “Do you know where—“

“No.”

“But…”

“Do I look like the Captain’s mom?” he frowned, stopping in his track to glare at the two bogeymen.

“No. It’s just that it seems than there’s some trouble amongst the heads of the Guardians,” Goto said tentatively, looking at Fuse as if he was seeking support. Fuse didn’t provide any. Fushimi cringed.

“How should I know?” he replied as calmly as he could.

It was true than sometimes the heads of the different Guardians had to meet because the magical dimension was in trouble, but they rarely involved everyone else. And Saruhiko was almost certain that their boss involved himself because he was being nosy most of the time. Anyway… It wasn’t of his concern as long as nobody exactly came into his room to drag him into said trouble so… “Don’t you have kids to scare tonight?” 

The two others didn’t dare to answer and Saruhiko just clicked his tongue, annoyed he had been disturbed. _He_ did have kids to scare. He wasn’t meeting Misaki tonight and he had duties to fulfill. 

That’s why he hurried to his room instead of debating with the two others. It wasn’t late. Just 10PM. But he wanted to start early. The last week hadn’t been really productive. Misaki had gotten a week off from work and Saruhiko had almost spent all his time at his boyfriend’s place – which was bad. Bad bogeyman!

Unfortunately, Misaki worked again the next day so Saruhiko would let him sleep and go on his own hunt tonight. His parchment list was full of names bright red and ready to learn their lesson. All those children who needed to be terrorized to death and punished for their bad behavior! He could already hear all their screams in the dark…

He crawled under his bed fast and to the first of his victim. Two victims actually. There was a little girl first who just needed a bad dream… But then, across the corridor, there was another room. Saruhiko would get to it right after. A 10 years old boy who had been really, really naughty!

For now, though, he had to turn the dream of that little girl into a freaking nightmare. The little thing was sleeping quietly in a little bed covered in magical girls themed bedsheets. And the whole room looked like the girl section of a toys shop. Saruhiko bent over her and searched for her dream… Ah. He smirked. She wanted to be a princess with a live teddy bear for knight? Fine… See how she was going to like the teddy bear turning into a grizzly and running after her to eat her.

The bogeyman grinned mischievously and tapped on his victim’s forehead with his index. Her appeased face twisted instantly into a scared one and she started whining in her sleep. It had been fast. Perfect.

Looking around him, he located the door and stepped into the corridor. The boy’s room was across it. He just had to walk past the stairs but it wasn’t a problem. The parents weren’t asleep yet, but even if they happened to walk up here, they wouldn’t see him.

Delighted, the bogeyman listened to what was happening downstairs. The TV was on, and it was visibly some late news channel that was turned on. _Boring._ Mundane life was so bo—

The name of Misaki’s neighborhood suddenly popped up into the journalist’s declaration. He was sure of it. Saruhiko froze up the stairs and bent to listen. Yes, here it was again. It was Misaki’s surrounding the news talked about, it was… “to be very careful. That new burglary up the street happens just three days after that aggression. Due to recent events, the police forces ask of the citizens to be very cautious. As for now, we know that tonight’s incident resulted in two casualties that were to…”

Saruhiko didn’t wait for the next sentence to be over. He had already turned away and was running like a mad man toward the little girl’s room. There was fear in his heart, clawing at his chest. And words turning over and over in his head. _Burglary. Aggression. Casualties._ And in the middle of that, the face of his hot-tempered boyfriend. 

He was vaguely aware of the girl waking up on his stormy path, but he couldn’t have cared less. In a snap of a finger, Saruhiko had disappeared.

 

When he crawled out of under Misaki’s bed, the place was pitch black. There wasn’t any light on. No TV on. Nothing. The door was closed too, like the only window of the little flat. No one seemed to have broken in. And, actually, he couldn’t hear Misaki’s respiration or feel any human emotion. The place was void.

He didn’t breath any easier nonetheless. Actually, a cold shiver ran down his spine. The bogeyman could see the room as if in broad daylight and knew Misaki wasn’t there, that no one had tried to sneak in this place… But it didn’t mean his boyfriend was safe.

 _The aggression_. _Two casualties._

And he remembered these times when they went out late at night, aiming for the park or other places and crossing the path of so many hoodlums and guys that looked like protagonists of some bad gangster movie. Misaki knew these waters and claimed he was pretty fine, no one tried to get him into some trouble. But Saruhiko always stayed cautiously alert and disliked that terribly.

“Fuck!” he cringed, trying to stay the most calm he could. For a moment, he took his head in his hands and tried to focus. “Where is he,” he muttered for himself. It was a question, solid, clear. Saruhiko thought about it.

Misaki wasn’t supposed to work on this night. He worked the next day. Why wasn’t he in his bed, sleeping?

It was early. That was why. But why would he be out of his apartment?

For once, Saruhiko was glad his heart was dead when he was far from Misaki, because he was sure the stress and the fear would have taken over him and it would have been awfully painful. It already was, and more than necessary.

It was useless to stay here though. He had no way to contact Misaki. No PDA, no computer, nothing at all to reach him and make sure he was safe. Now what he had to do first, and what was logical, was to get out. If he could locate the place where the burglary had happened, he could at least check by himself if Misaki had been involved or not. Then there was a lot of places he could check on. Misaki’s friends’ places, that stupid bar he worked for and spent some of his free time too…

Not allowing himself any optimistic thought, and a lump in his throat, Saruhiko retrieved the key he never ever left at the chain around his neck and opened the closed door. Soon after Misaki had given it to him, he had put it around his neck and carried it always with himself. It was sappy and stupid, but right now, it was also the most comforting thing he had to cling onto.

The direct surroundings of the apartment where desert. Not a soul roamed the place. But there was a police siren ringing loud two streets away from where Saruhiko stood. He locked the door behind him and jumped off the balcony in a flash. The dark spirit was on the crime scene in no time at all, his insides churning in anguish and fear.

So many people were there already, trying to take a better look at the scene, with that morbid curiosity every human was so ashamed for. That disgusted him, but he had no time to dwell on that. He searched for vehicles. The police… The ambulances!

When he saw the ambulances, his legs started to shake. And then he saw a blurry patch of red hair that disappeared behind the door of the nearest vehicle. Nausea assaulted him.

Saruhiko moved at the speed of light again, pushing everyone on his way to the ambulance, not even thinking about the strangeness of the situation and the people who looked around them in shock and he launched himself at the back of the vehicle. He was on the verge of losing it when his leather boots slipped on the gravel and he saw the red hair again.

Then it was the relief. The overwhelming relief washing the nausea away and some of his fear. It was a woman. Mid-age. _Definitely not Misaki_.

She was alive too, and not in critical condition, but that was all the information Saruhiko gathered. It wasn’t his business. Misaki was still missing and they had said _two casualties_. This made one.

The other was probably somewhere around, in another vehicle. “They are on their way for the nearest hospital. The husband was in bad shape. Affirmative, we will follow with the second victim. Roger.”

Saruhiko spun around as fast as a lightning bolt, just in time to see the policeman turning his radio off and put it back in the car.

 _The husband_. Misaki didn’t fit in this description.

The realization downed on Saruhiko eventually. Wherever he was, his lover was safe. Somehow.

The bogeyman took in his surrounding too, now more aware of the intense share of emotions around him. The crowd buzzing, the nosy people, the scared one. It was like a fest. No wonder he hadn’t start to fade or faint despite his own fear. He was surrounded by the emotions he craved all the time.

Until now, though, he had been so focused on Misaki that he hadn’t even realize it. If he was the romantic kind, the Guardian would have had some gross sappy thought about that. But, actually, no, he was just focused on the source of his whole attention. Misaki. He was still missing after all.

Totally arbitrarily and without remorse, Saruhiko made his way back outside the perimeter, feeding on the sorrow and the fear of the ones he met. It helped made his thought clearer at least. From now, he’d just have to go to his the redhead’s place and think about a place he could be at. Anywhere. He just needed to check.

And to have a word with him.

As he walked away from this street, Saruhiko brought his hand to his throat and curled his hand around his pale neck. There was no pulse hiding there. Yet he felt like he had run a million miles.

“Saruhiko?” his name came out strangled, high-pitched, and made his head snap up instantly.

He was turning around the street corner, mechanically walking back to the flat, when the familiar voice actually called him. His eyes widened and the air left his lungs all at once. Misaki was there, on the sidewalk, gaping, his board tucked under his arm. Next to him was Kamamoto, who looked at his shorter friend with a puzzled expression. After some moment, he turned to follow Misaki’s line of sight, his frown deepening.

Saruhiko’s body was crossed by a jolt of electricity. It was the relief and the surprise coursing through his veins. His legs turned into jelly, his arms prickling… Damn, he wanted to run and take Misaki in his arms. He needed to…

He didn’t want to think about the consequences…

The silence lasted longer, the redhead scanning him with his fiery eyes. They knew each other, they understood each other. Misaki could feel Saruhiko was distraught. The dark spirit knew it. “Yo Kamamoto. I’ll see myself home, don’t worry.”

“But Yata-san, the…”

“Really, you should go home. I need to… I need to give a call! And it’s not safe here. Go home, I’ll see you tomorrow at the bar!” Misaki pressed him, obviously blocking the way to his blond friend.

For a moment, Kamamoto observed a silence and tried to search for an answer, or something… Saruhiko started to lose patience. He felt bad. His whole body ached. _Fucking go away already…_

“You sure? You said it yourself, it’s not—“

“ _Yes_ Kamamoto, I’m sure! Look, I live just there and there’s the police so it’s good. You take care of yourself, ok?” Misaki stepped forward as if to make a point.

Surprisingly, Kamamoto stepped back with a rueful expression. Saruhiko observed the exchange with mild-confusion. He was desperate to run to Misaki, but that was also something he had never witnessed. After all, the only two times he had seen them interact, both Misaki and that guy were younger and their conversation was futile… Stupid and annoying. In the end, Saruhiko had never paid attention to the bond Misaki had with him, or any other guy in his little group of friends.

Kamamoto seemed to care genuinely about Misaki’s safety. And Saruhiko didn’t feel endangered even though. Not that he was exactly able to process that fact at the moment, his brain only clouded by his need to reach his lover… But it stuck at the back of his mind, and it didn’t bother him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Be careful Yata-san!”

“Will do,” Misaki answered while the blond guy changed his route and went back.

Saruhiko saw Misaki’s shoulders sink, as if part of the tension that had built in him was taken away.

“Saruhiko…”

The bogeyman found out his feet dragged him already toward his boyfriend, even before the latter turned to face him. And he really let himself go when he circled the shorter body in his arms.

It was an awkward position. Misaki had started to move too and Saruhiko hugged his side, his mouth on his temple and nose buried in his black beanie. There was the board against Misaki’s flank that he still held that was an obstacle too between them, and yet Saruhiko felt it was all he needed.

Misaki’s presence.

“Saruhiko, it’s ok,” the redhead tried to appease him, his free hand patting awkwardly one of the bogeyman’s arm.

“Move out.”

“Eh?”

“You need to move out,” Saruhiko mumbled against his temple, little stray locks of red hair tickling his face.

“Come on.” Misaki freed himself from the embrace and took Saruhiko’s hand despite the stupid rule they had when they were outside. There was nobody to see them anyway. It was too dark, too empty. And they probably felt both like breaking these stupid rules a million times just to connect.

Saruhiko let himself be dragged toward the flat, crushing Misaki’s hand in his own as they walked along the sidewalk, up the stairs and to Misaki’s apartment. The redhead couldn’t help but throw sideway glances around at the smallest sound coming from the darkness.

They still hadn’t talk when the young man locked the door behind them. Which he barely had the time too. When the soft click indicated they were trapped inside, Saruhiko turned Misaki around and plastered him on the panel immediately. His hands flew at the shorter one’s shoulders, keeping him in place, while his mouth crashed on Misaki’s in a punishing kiss.

Misaki jolted, dropping his skateboard on the floor in a loud and horrible sound, then closed his eyes and returned the kiss. It was weird. It tasted weird. Saruhiko made it this way. When Misaki tried to reach for him, his hands gliding other the striped jacket, the bogeyman took a step back, breaking the kiss.

His heart pulsed violently in his throat. He felt stressed out like he had rarely been.

Misaki gasped at the loss of contact and glanced at him with puzzlement. His expression also read his vexation. “So—,” Saruhiko started, his voice hoarse, and the Guardian soon found out he couldn’t apologize. The redhead extended a hand then, trying to reach for Saruhiko’s arm, but the bogeyman stepped back again. “Misaki you need to move out,” he croaked instead, more dryly than he expected it himself.

The redhead rolled his eyes as an answer and, this time only vexed, brushed past him and tore his beanie and hoodie away with jerky movements. “Look who barges in and acts so fairly,” the shorter one mumbled.

He abandoned the items on the floor and strode towards the kitchen, starting to fumble with his kettle and the water. He opened it too harshly and almost sprayed all the kitchen counter in a row. He was obviously fuming.

“Where does that come from?” Saruhiko hissed, pained and annoyed. “Do you have any idea just how much I—“

“Freaked out?” Misaki cut him off, turning on his heels. “And it’s my fucking fault, right? Cause you live in your magical place without knowing shit about what’s happening out of your mansion and then you just catch a glimpse and comes in to throw that to my face. Alright Saruhiko, thank you so much! I really needed that!”

“Oi Misaki,” Saruhiko hissed again, dangerously this time. This wasn’t going where he wanted it and he actually didn’t like it at all. He still had that bitter taste at the back of his throat, the awful threat hovering above him until the moment Misaki had reappeared.

“Don’t! You came here because you were worrying and I get it! _That_ is fine!” Misaki exclaimed. “But I saw what you were doing just know. You were blaming me, I know you!”

“I’m not,” Saruhiko sighed in exasperation. Though a little voice in his head said so. “I just…”

“Freaked out. I get that. I get it! Fucking stop! Why d’you think I was there? As soon as I heard, I came back because I thought maybe you’d hear about it and come here. I was thinking about you too, ok?” Misaki fumed right now. He tried to stay calm but Saruhiko could see in his defensive posture, leaning against the counter very stiffly, his arms crossed, that he wasn’t joking. That he was extremely serious _and_ pissed off. “I thought maybe you’d need some reassurance, it’s ok Saruhiko, I was there to give it to you. So don’t even start throwing your bad temper at me!”

“You’re not fair,” Saruhiko protested weakly.

“No! _You_ aren’t. I know you, you were going to be grumpy, even mad at me, and I did nothing to deserve it. If you have something to tell me regarding that shitty storm out there it’s ok, I can hear it. But don’t be a fucking asshole about it.”

That was final. The redhead didn’t move from his spot, still glaring at Saruhiko and clearly holding a grudge. Saruhiko stayed at his place near the entrance without a word himself. It burned, his skin… Around his neck and face. That was weird, it had nothing to do with the passion or the love. It was a different burning, and it really wasn’t pleasant. He wanted to argue for sure, there still was a lot of things he needed to discuss. Things that needed to be said. Except, yes, that burning feeling crept under his skin and his face was growing hot and all he could do was to gnaw at his lip.

“Look. I know it’s your way of showing you care. Or it’s one of them. That’s why I’m not actually beating the shit out of you right now.” Misaki’s voice pierced the silence again.

It struck Saruhiko then. How Misaki had grown, He was an adult now. A young, hot-tempered one. But he fended for himself, he could be serious too. And he had had years to learn to know the bogeyman. And to get to know him well. It stung.

“But still… I actually was scared myself, okay? I mean, not about that shit and those burglars, but I was afraid I couldn’t make it in time here. And what if I hadn’t heard but you did and you spent the night searching for me and it turned out badly… What if you freaked out and started to… Lose it and disappear!” Saruhiko saw Misaki’s hands curling into fists. His voice hadn’t waved but he was obviously affected.

“Point is… That situation isn’t only complicated for you. So give me a break, okay? I didn’t accuse you, so don’t go accusing me. Please.”

With that, the redhead eventually moved toward the dark spirit who refrained himself from turning away. It definitely wouldn’t have been fair for the young man. Misaki’s fingertips brushed his upper arms, then travelled lower, until they gripped his wrists and hands.

“Saruhiko, come on.”

The bogeyman leveled his gaze with the amber eyes as Misaki brought one of his hands to his mouth, kissing his knuckles softly. It made him weak and he averted his gaze. “Tsk!”

“Yeah,” the redhead breathed out in a shaky little nervous laugh. At least the anger seemed to have faded away slightly.

Eventually, the bogeyman sighed deeply. He didn’t want to fight. He hadn’t mean too, it wasn’t even relevant. What mattered was Misaki’s safety, not a stupid quarrel. And there was that stupid confession too… He hadn’t think that Misaki could be afraid of Saruhiko’s condition. That idiot just had no idea how much it meant for the bogeyman.

“I want you to move out of this place, Misaki,” Saruhiko said in a low, careful voice.

“Gotcha,” Misaki said, and he stepped forward to circle Saruhiko with his arms. He may have been shorter but Saruhiko felt ridiculous in this strong embrace after what the other had said.

“I mean it. I always thought it was a bad neighborhood. But now it’s also dangerous…” the bogeyman said, still a bit stiff in his lover’s arms. “I can’t have that. I ran to the ambulances imagining it could be you, one of the casualties. It was awful and…”

“Eh Saruhiko calm down. You know these kind of things can happen everywhere. Even if I move out, one day someone could break in and…”

Saruhiko stiffened in his arms even more. No. No! “Jeez Saruhiko! I’m alive, there’s nothing you can do against that! It’s a pretty lethal thing too, to be alive in the first place, ok? I won’t lock myself into a cave just so you can rest easy!...”

That struck the Guardian. It was the most honest and raw truth… Somehow, sometimes, Misaki could give him so smart and clear answers… It amazed him. But that thought still didn’t appeal him one bit.

“You should do that, though,” the Guardian couldn’t help but mumble, hugging his boyfriend back.

“You’re a lost case.”

“I’m not really joking. Please move out,” he went on, determined.

“I can’t do that immediately Saruhiko. It’ll at least take a month or so. I need to find another place, to pack things. I don’t have much money too,” Misaki remarked.

Then he detached himself from the bogeyman and pulled him toward the bed. They sat there together, next to each other, backs against the wall and shoulders just touching.

“A month. Anything could happen,” Saruhiko grumbled.

“Yes. And in a whole life, even worse could happen. Actually, next time I drink a glass of water, I could shock on it and die stupidly,” the redhead teased him, throwing a sideway mocking glance at him.

“Well stop drinking water,” Saruhiko shrugged. He still wasn’t exactly in the mood for joking though. _Almost_ , but he was still wary.

“I can’t believe that! You didn’t care that much when I was young, did you? I was small and…”

“When did _that_ stop?” Ok, he was getting in the mood slowly. He grinned lightly. Misaki elbowed him in the ribcage.

“Jerk! So… Stop that please. I get that you care, and I can’t say it’s not cool. It’s even hot, you being all over me. When you don’t freak out!” he added in a hurry, then he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Just… You can’t help it, okay? I’m alive, you said so yourself, right? But… Nothing will happen. I’m tough!”

Saruhiko could protest or tease him but Misaki leant into him, a hand flat on the dark spirit’s chest. He had a stupid grin on his adorable and handsome face. “Oh god, what are you trying to do Misaki?”

“I don’t know? Setting the mood?” the redhead purred, his hand pushing slightly.

Saruhiko pushed back abruptly, throwing Misaki on the mattress and jumping on him. He flipped the situation but was actually really serious. “You know what would set the mood?”

“What?” Misaki grinned wider, his breath growing shorter. Saruhiko bent so he could whisper in the other’s ear.

“You turning on…”

“Yea?” Misaki gulped down loudly.

“The computer. So we can search for a new flat,” the bogeyman ended, sitting back in Misaki’s lap.

The redhead’s eyes widened and he gaped… Until he realized he had been toyed with. “Fuck! Saruhiko you can’t do that!”

“I can!” the dark spirit got up and went to the desk where Misaki’s laptop sat. He retrieved it and settled at the kotatsu, sitting on the futon. “So, you’re going to help me or not?”

“Are you serious?” The other groaned and sat back on the bed, tugging on his shorts who were visibly an annoyance at the moment. Saruhiko smirked mischievously and turned his attention to the computer.

“I am. The sooner we find, the better. I want you out of this slum. I wasn’t joking about that,” he said again, dead serious.

Some seconds later, Misaki joined him, sitting next to the Guardian at the kotatsu. An arm snuck around his waist to pull him closer, but he seemed to realize Saruhiko was adamant and didn’t push his luck. “Alright. We’ll search for another place.”

Saruhiko felt the comforting warmth spreading in his chest when the shorter one actually said “we”.

“I want a separate bedroom this time, ok?” Misaki said, resting his head against Saruhiko’s shoulder. “I mean… What if someone comes? I don’t want them to sleep in the same room anymore. It’s really awful right? It was ok when I was a teen, right? But now…”

“Yes,” Saruhiko said, feeling his cheeks growing hot again, but for a good reason this time.

“Now I don’t know… It’ll be _our_ place. I want a bedroom just for us,” the redhead eventually admitted sheepishly. “Somewhere we can stay long. And have something just the two of us…”

“Shit,” Saruhiko swore aloud when he turned to look at the hazel gems. His throat felt terribly dry. What a big sap.

“Say, Saru…”

“Mmh?” He was mesmerized by them, by those stunning beautiful and catching eyes.

“Can’t we search just… a bit later? Like… In an hour or something?” Misaki’s hand caressed his lower back tentatively.

“Then—then we search for real, ok? I want that place too. Misaki and I, in our place. For good,” he said, his traitorous voice waving at his boyfriend’s attention.

The redhead smiled brightly. Then he shut the laptop again and pushed Saruhiko on the futon. Something sweet bubbled in Saruhiko’s chest. Something only Misaki could give him. Misaki’s lips moved against his own: “You bet we are!”


	20. 19 yo - Make it warm again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earlier during the week, Misaki had told him he had purchased a new game online during the last sales and he wanted to try it with him. He had also talked about trying a new thing out, since Saruhiko wanted to get away from the flat the most often possible: going to the movie theater. It was a surprisingly good idea. They’d never tried it so far and there wouldn’t be anything easier than Misaki buying one ticket for a movie as long as it wasn’t too famous or had been just released. It would change from their usual dates… And Misaki wouldn’t be bored because they did the same things over and over. It was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can listen to [this beautiful song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86ZBolp--Zo), it inspired me a lot while writing.

 “Did you hear?” Hidaka whispered eagerly.

“The Captain is on his way. I heard it was a mess,” Fuse drawled in response.

“Do you think we’ll have to stay put now?” Enomoto asked, obviously worrying, his sparkling eyes shifting nervously.

“No. Maybe we will have to wait a fortnight,” Akiyama stated calmly.

“Do you think we’ll make it?” Domyoji wondered aloud and… very loud.

“It’s not like we have to stop entirely. Just refraining from over-doing it. They’ll still be around to counterbalance it. Just a bit less than usual,” Benzai observed, resting next to Akiyama quietly.

Saruhiko looked at the others with a scowl on his face. They were all there. All the bogeymen he had worked with for so long. They all were gathered in the biggest room of the mansion, where Saruhiko didn’t wander that much himself. But today was a special day. The night was about to fall, the moon to rise… And soon they’d all have to return to their duties. Except it seemed that they would have to refrain from pushing themselves.

Saruhiko had heard it too… There were a lot of trouble going on in the magical world and amongst the spirits of the Night these days.

Once again, Munakata had disappeared to Awashima’s palace, both working together because of the difficult Mikoto Suoh, another Guardian. And thus, to balance things, the bogeymen had to stay put…

Saruhiko didn’t see what was so bad in giving only nightmares to children for a week, without the other Guardians to counterbalance things, but really…

Munakata was against it, and so was the whole magical world. The bogeyman didn’t mind that much… That only meant one thing for him: he’d have more and more free nights, and more and more time to spend at Misaki’s place.

And it was for the better these days. The redhead had yet to move out of his apartment and Saruhiko didn’t like to know he was alone in this slum.

Of course, Misaki repeated over and over that he risked nothing and that the dark spirit was over-thinking everything because of the recent events… But Saruhiko had none of this shit. The place was dangerous and Misaki had to move out. No matter what.

And it’d be very soon actually. The last night, Misaki had said he had visited a flat the day before and that it wasn’t bad at all. It wasn’t that big, even the contrary… But it was still better than the one he lived in at the moment. Saruhiko couldn’t go and visit it because the place was empty so he couldn’t appear under any bed. And it would have been too much trouble to walk there (it was in another ward of the city) and find a way to break in or whatever.

The pictures Misaki had taken with his phone were plenty enough and the area where the flat was located was a good one. Lampposts were all functioning, families lived there instead of a bunch of hoodlums, and it had both a train and a bus station very close – which was convenient for Misaki.

Saruhiko could already picture it. The life they had shaped for each other… Which was insane and felt unreal. How could he be planning this when he was a spirit… He had been dead for years, and still… He was stupidly glad his living boyfriend was moving out in a flat where they could pretend to be living together.

Sometimes Saruhiko hated the whole idea. He felt like an idiot, and a dangerous one, to feed on such illusions. There’d be a time when Misaki would be fed up with that situation. When he’d waken up… When the redhead would grow up for good and leave all that behind him to live his real life. Saruhiko dreaded that and he knew he was a selfish monster to hold him back like that… But the dark spirit couldn’t help it.

He had never been happy during his life – had even spent almost half of it in a coma. Only when he had awaken as a Guardian Saruhiko had started to live. But then, he had been stuck in a routine, knowing only one thing – and this routine went with the fear of fading away if he didn’t fulfil his mission.

But then, Misaki had come into his life, working his way into Saruhiko’s routine, and changing it totally… Only then the bogeyman had been really happy. It felt so good… It was different, it was like breathing a new air… It was like living again. And it wasn’t even a way of speaking. Misaki brought him back to life, making his dead heart beat like a real one; bringing him enough magic to live on without having to fear about disappearing ever again.

Saruhiko had some serious doubts on how much he gave back to Misaki, but for sure Misaki had given him everything. That made him feel both guilty and ecstatic, with no in between. Sometimes, when his thoughts caressed darkness, the bogeyman thought about all the things the redhead had compromised to be with him. And what it brought to Saruhiko, how much, so many things… When Misaki gained nothing. But when he was with him… When he was with Misaki and the other boy laughed that infectious laugh, when he flashed his brightest smiles… When he talked about all the plans they had with that fiery animation… Then Saruhiko was the happiest person on earth.

It must have been wrong. It probably was wrong.

Munakata hadn’t lectured him ever again since that last time, but Saruhiko couldn’t ignore the knowing looks, heavy and deep on him, when he talked with the head of the bogeymen. They both knew what was going on, and just those glances were enough to remind Saruhiko this wasn’t _normal_. But he still wanted Misaki more than he wanted anything else. He wanted his lover more than he wanted to live.

Saruhiko turned back and left the others without a remorse. Earlier during the week, Misaki had told him he had purchased a new game online during the last sales and he wanted to try it with him. He had also talked about trying a new thing out, since Saruhiko wanted to get away from the flat the most often possible: going to the movie theater. It was a surprisingly good idea. They’d never tried it so far and there wouldn’t be anything easier than Misaki buying one ticket for a movie as long as it wasn’t too famous or had been just released. It would change from their usual dates… And Misaki wouldn’t be bored because they did the same things over and over. It was perfect.

So perfect Saruhiko couldn’t help but grin when he entered his bedroom.

There he paused a moment in the middle of the room and removed the barbwire belt he wore every day when he didn’t see his boyfriend. Because… why not, after all? Maybe they could also do _that_ and then the whole night would be a huge success?

Saruhiko couldn’t give a fuck about his boss’ insistent gazes. And he had made his mind. With a wide grin, almost manic, the dark spirit plunged under the bed.

 

The flat was empty and dark when Saruhiko reappeared there. He couldn’t feel Misaki’s presence. He knew there wasn’t exactly a good motive to be scared by that fact. He could be out for groceries and would be back soon. Except that lately, Saruhiko couldn’t think about that without remembering that awful night… It was probably silly. Even if the neighborhood was dangerous there was close to zero chance that Misaki would get himself into a troublesome situation. And even so… Well, his boyfriend wasn’t exactly the kind of guy people tried to get into trouble.

If he was tender and funny and even stupidly cute sometimes with the Guardian, Saruhiko knew the bat that rested against the wall in the entrance wasn’t there for decoration. He knew his little friends weren’t angels and the dark-haired man definitely knew the shorty must have been considered like one of the hoodlums – the ones he dreaded himself - by some old ladies.

So yeah, he shouldn’t worry like that. Plus Misaki would send him back to the headquarters if Saruhiko started to boss him and prevent him from going out without him. That wasn’t viable nor part of the balance they maintained. _Why do you have to be so reckless, though, uh?_

Trying to ignore his stomach that was churning with apprehension, Saruhiko dropped on the bed and looked around him. The surroundings were mostly quiet. There was some noises coming from Misaki’s left neighbor but it was the price for living in a cheap place like that and they were used to it. Sometimes they even laughed about it, late at night, when they had sex and one or the other tried to push his boyfriend into screaming a bit. It was the occasion to see Misaki blushing like a virgin maiden. But he did scream in the end…

Like Misaki’s neighbor.

The scream made Saruhiko jolt, all of a sudden, then freeze. The bogeyman slightly leant toward the wall connecting the two flats but he was sure of what he had heard. It hadn’t been a cry to call someone, or a cry of surprise. It was a cry of terror. He was enough of an expert with that to recognize it.

What was harder to identify, though, was the mess that came with it. It sounded like someone had kicked a chair, or flipped a table, or hit a piece of furniture and it was loud. There were more clamors and then a short silence. Saruhiko was on his feet by now. Someone opened a door after that, and it could have been any door but likely it was the entrance of the flat.

He had the confirmation mere seconds later when the neighbor screamed again and another voice mixed with the scream. “Oi! You!”

The air left Saruhiko’s lungs all at once as he seemed to fall straight into his worst nightmare.

He wanted to move but his feet were so heavy they might as well have been imprisoned in a concrete block. The bogeyman had to move, though, because it was Misaki’s voice he had heard.

“Stop!” the redhead yelled again, just at the moment Saruhiko miraculously grabbed the doorknob. “Ugh?!”

 _What was that_!

The Dark Spirit felt the metal under his hand but barely noticed it was covered with a thin layer of ice, and he pulled the door open abruptly. He didn’t recall walking there, or pushing the key into the hole. It didn’t matter. All Saruhiko saw at first was the bag of groceries on the floor and the apple rolling on the concrete full of cracks.

Then he heard his boyfriend again. Or more like… his breathing… Raspy and cut off abruptly… Turning soon into a gasp.  

It was dark outside, and the only lamppost didn’t gave a lot of light to the surroundings… Yet Saruhiko could never have seen with any more clarity than that. And he wished he was blind.

Someone brushed past him – the neighbor – in a frantic hurry, while crying and sobbing and hit the apple with a foot, almost tripping before running into the stairs that led to the first floor… Saruhiko barely acknowledged it.

Misaki faced him, somehow. Silent and quiet and looked straight back at him, his hazel eyes sparkling with a flame more intense than ever. But if the bogeyman could see his face, he couldn’t see his body, hidden by another.

The redhead was being held against the railing by a figure in a hoodie who faced away from Saruhiko.

“Sa—ruhiko,” Misaki chocked, and a minuscule bubble of blood popped at the corner of his lips.

Then the light bulb near them exploded, swallowing them all in the darkness. Still, Saruhiko saw the trickle of blood running along Misaki’s chin as the silhouette pushed him aside harshly and turned to run in the same direction than the neighbor…

It happened too fast, and yet, it felt like the time had frozen. Saruhiko could have reached for that man, he could have killed him, he could have done so many things. But all he could see was Misaki sliding along the railing, too weak to hold himself up.

That’s what made the Guardian snap out of it and pushed him to run to his lover.

An oppressing silence surrounded them, the footsteps long gone, only disrupted by Misaki’s heavy and wheezing breath.

For some reason, when Saruhiko dropped on his knees beside him, he knew instinctively that he had to keep all the coldness inside. That cold that ate his bones and gnawed at his heart, right now, and that threatened to overflow him… Saruhiko needed to keep that in, to not let it reach Misaki.

Because Misaki felt cold already…

“No… Misaki!” Saruhiko’s throat was too tight and it hurt when he forced the words out.

Leaning over him, he caught him in his arms just before the redhead could collapse on the ground.

His left hand directly connected with something utterly gross… A stain of blood. Of warm blood, flowing out of Misaki’s body. Saruhiko cursed under his breath, once, twice… Maybe he didn’t stop cursing but he wasn’t aware of it.

Moving his hand, the dark spirit tugged gently on the redhead’s t-shirt, only to press the fabric back against it at the light of speed. There were two deep wounds, under his ribcage and between two higher ribs.  

“Eh Saruhiko,” Misaki’s voice came again, weak but determined and a hand flew to Saruhiko’s face who stopped looking at his bloodied hand in horror.

The redhead winced, but otherwise, he didn’t look like he had been stabbed twice. “Don’t press there, that f’cking hurts,” the other added and he had to draw his breath with such difficulty Saruhiko had to bite back a cry.

He felt as if he was about to throw up his own heart… “I have too. Misaki. The blood it’s…”

“It’s going to ruin your suit,” the redhead breathed out and some blood mixed with saliva rolled down his chin and neck again.

_No, no, no!_

“Shut up! Where is your PDA?!” Saruhiko asked with a high-pitched voice. He could feel the panic rising and fighting it was exhausting but he needed to keep his thoughts in check, he needed to focus, Misaki was in danger…

Misaki was chuckling.

“I had it worst.” This time he coughed and whined in pain, curling against Saruhiko, hands now both clutching the front of his vest so hard they turned white already. “Joking.”

“Misaki! Your PDA!” Saruhiko asked again. Somehow, a part of his brain managed to stay very lucid and he felt the blood pouring more alarmingly from the wounds each time his lover opened the mouth. A lot of blood.

Saruhiko had no knowledge of medicine but he wasn’t idiot. If the redhead’s lungs were pierced… If his heart was touched… If Misaki lost too much blood…

Saruhiko bit his lips so hard, it drew some to his own mouth.

“I’m so—sorry I didn’t move out faster. You were right.”

“Shut up! Misaki, please, keep quiet!” the dark-haired man urged him again, on the verge of losing it. It was close, he knew it and he couldn’t allow it.

He tried to keep the cold inside… But the cold came from somewhere else. It came from Misaki. Ever so warm Misaki…

Bending over the redhead, holding him even closer, Saruhiko started to fumble with his pockets as gently as he could despite the rush. He still heard Misaki whimper when his hand plunged in the left pocket of his shorts.

“I—I th—think it’s in my back—backpack.”

If, until now, Misaki’s voice had been quiet, low, and wheezing… now it was strained, and he had a hard time making out the words. It was tainted with something else too…

“Eh, don’t be scared! Don’t be scared, Misaki,” the bogeyman heard himself say in a rush, the lump in his throat hurting badly. It was the same voice he used years ago when Misaki was a kid and had a nightmare.

It was a voice he hadn’t used for years… Now he wondered if he wasn’t trying to convince himself too.

“We’re going to call someone, you can explain over the phone. You can bring them here, I’ll stay until someone—“

“Don’t leave me,” Misaki cut him off in a harrowing plea, his mouth trembling as if he was about to cry.

“No. No, no, I’m not leaving. Let me just…”

It was too hard. Saruhiko couldn’t fight the despair, it cut through him like a million of sharp freezing needles.

Misaki’s hands tightened on his vest. “Don’t.”

Saruhiko realized he was preventing him from reaching the backpack. “Misaki, let me…”

“Saruhiko.” The redhead’s pulled him down. He tried to, at least. He clearly was drained of his strength, but the motion was clear. Saruhiko forgot about the phone for a second and their eyes locked.

Where was that goddamn flame? It was there just a few minutes ago. Now the hazel barely shone.

It was a nightmare. These weren’t the gems supposed to stop shining…

“’m cold.” The whisper was effectively followed by a shudder wrecking Misaki’s frame. Saruhiko hated himself, he held the cold and yet Misaki was freezing. “Make it warm, Saru.”

“Let me grab the phone,” he heard himself say in a broken voice, as from afar.

“Please.” Misaki too sounded out of tune.

Everything sounded out of tune.

And Saruhiko only knew one way to bring some warmth to them. Unable to close his eyes, scared to death Misaki would make use of that to close his own, the Guardian leant into the other and pressed his lips to his lover’s cold ones.

It was full of blood. Saruhiko had never tasted so much blood. It was disgusting and made his stomach churn, filling his chest with a boiling hatred.

His heart throbbed too, painfully hard, and echoing the faint beat of Misaki one. Except that for the first time in so many years… the redhead’s heartbeat didn’t keep up with him, unable to beat in sync as it weakened by the second.

 _No_.

“Misaki?” he asked, breaking the kiss and hoping to see the usual red blossoming on his cheeks. There was none, no blood to rush to his face.

“Saruhiko. Does it hurt?” Misaki’s voice came in a gentle murmur.

Saruhiko let out a sob. It was ugly, he hated it. It hurt so much.

“There’s no worst thing,” he admitted. It had never hurt like that. Not when he had fallen, not when he had died. Never. And now it felt like he was split open and filled with ice.

“Doesn’t hurt me. It’s ‘st cold.”

A trembling hand abandoned his vest and flew to his face again, Misaki’s palm resting against Saruhiko’s cheek, cupping his face ever so gently. “I’m sorry I’m hurting you,” he said.

“Don’t say that,” Saruhiko almost yelled, closing the gap between them and resting his forehead against his lover’s. “Don’t say that, please.”

When he broke apart and looked again at the beautiful and cold face, a jolt of pain stabbed him in the heart. Misaki had closed his eyes. “Misaki!”

That couldn’t happen like that. They had things to say. A million of things to say, to do, and to share. “Oi! Misaki!” Saruhiko couldn’t recognize his own voice, strangled and broken, and foreign. And so far away… “Misaki!”

Saruhiko let the panic wash over him. He didn’t know what to do. He just tried to press his lips clumsily against Misaki’s again, mouths slipping from the blood.

His heart didn’t throb. It didn’t beat. It was as good as dead, inside his wounded chest. “Misaki!”

This cry was almost silent and Saruhiko might have lost it there, with the body of the love of his life, afterlife; laying in his arms.

It was insane that Fate was willing to play the same filthy trick on him twice. It was insane that there was no one to help, just the moon to mock them.

It was insane and Saruhiko felt like going out of his mind.

It should never have happened. If he hadn’t come back the year after… If he hadn’t been weak all these years, if he had let Misaki live his life…

There would still be a heart to beat under his palm. Misaki would be smiling so brightly. Bright and warm. He would be beautiful, without those nasty stains.

Not knowing when it would explode, Saruhiko let the cold devour him and held his lover close instead, with all his strength. He wasn’t going to hurt him anymore. That he had done already… He deserved the vicious cold, the despair, the darkness engulfing him. And if he faded then at least it would take the pain away.

But it was too sweet to let the cold take over, Saruhiko didn’t deserve that sweetness.

It was like a caress. The more he lost to it, the gentler it was, embracing him like Misaki’s warmth. As if he was bathing one last time in the glow of the connection they’d shared.

The dark Spirit could feel it. As if it was real… Probably because it was too soon to be a memory yet.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, knowing if he wanted to see Misaki’s beautiful face one last time, it would be now. If he waited, he wouldn’t be able to see him at all and Saruhiko couldn’t have that.

It was painful to do it, but he forced himself. He craved to see him.

He was blinded.

Not by the darkness. Not by his lover’s smile. But by the light. It was a bright light, silver like the moon and emanating from the body he held in his arms. It was so powerful, yet it didn’t harm. Saruhiko gasped, his throat closing. It was hard to make out the frame he held so close because of the halo but the Dark Spirit could see it came from one precise place. Just near Misaki’s heart.

His Center. It shone, it shone brighter than any light, than any of the heated, passionate, and loving flames he had ever seen in Misaki’s eyes. And if his the redhead’s heart still didn’t beat, Saruhiko knew he wasn’t imagining this. He wasn’t imagining the warmth coursing through his body and communicating with Misaki’s.

It was growing hot, searing almost, like the tears falling down the dark spirit’s cheeks.

“Saruhiko, let go,” a gentle, feminine voice sounded somewhere near them. It was quiet, it was careful. It didn’t hurt, on the contrary. It almost healed… At least, it eased the pain.

He didn’t obey nonetheless, still holding the body as if his life depended on it.

“I will take care of Misaki,” the voice came again, closer. “We all will.”

He didn’t understand, didn’t want to. He should have taken care of Misaki himself. The poor result laid in his arms.

“Fushimi-kun.” That voice made him snap. It didn’t fit in the atmosphere. It was grave too, and serious, but familiar and thus, it had nothing to do with what was happening.

Still, it insisted; forcing Saruhiko to admit the world kept turning and he was still a part of it. “He was called, you have to let him go,” the deep and cool voice went on.

A hand found his shoulder and there was some pressure put there that was meant to be reassuring.

“No.”

“It’s only goodbye, Saruhiko. Not farewell,” the gentle voice intimated him.

Saruhiko hunched on himself, feeling the height in his arms being dragged away. And he knew somehow he couldn’t hold on to it. “Wait!” he asked. The light blinded him too much, and if he thought he had yelled, his voice was actually a whisper.

“It’s only goodbye...” Saruhiko heard again and it wasn’t like he had anything else to cling on to.

 

 

_And I don’t wanna see what I’ve seen,_

_To undo what has been done._

_Turn off all the lights,_

_Let the morning come._

_Now there’s blue light in my eyes,_

_And my lover on my mind._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so truely sorry. Please do not hate me.  
> The resolution and answers to all your questions to that sharp turn will come in the last chapter. It's written already, I'll just edit it a bit and get it proof-read so you have the best ending possible. But it'll be soon, I don't want to let you hanging there too long!  
> Also, please know that I made the decision of killing Misaki back in January, just after I decided to turn it into a multi-chapter fic. It was planned all along. But I also promised a happy ending.  
> I'd really love to know what you think about this, I know some readers thought I might kill Misaki... I'm sorry for those who are disappointed with this choice. ♥  
> I still hope the reading was enjoyable enough.  
> See you very soon!


	21. Ever after - Humans are made of dust... or was it sand.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fushimi-kun. What happened tonight was bound to happen, and you can’t take responsibility for it. Whether you were there or not, the circumstances would not have changed, and your presence in this boy’s life has not changed his fate either.”
> 
> How convenient it was that his boss could read his mind so easily. Saruhiko’s jaw clenched painfully and he looked down. It started to hit him, slowly but surely. It was rising again: the anger, the pain… The horror.

Saruhiko felt numb. He wasn’t even drained from his powers; Misaki’s Center had radiated bright enough – one last time – to actually make him overflow with magic. It was even worse, because he could see everything down to the smallest detail… He had eventually acknowledged Munakata’s hand on his shoulder, long after Misaki had disappeared with that young white-haired girl. She was beautiful in that red dress… And seemed so kind. But Saruhiko knew she wasn’t part of the Christmas world, despite the color. If the bogeyman hadn’t been devastated by the pain, he’d have been grateful for that… Christmas spirits kept to themselves and were only out once a year.

Instead, he had straightened up and followed Munakata back inside the dark and empty flat. There, it had been awful. He was aware of the despicable feelings assaulting him but they couldn’t really reach him. The sensation was so terrible he hoped they’d never materialize, because if he let them strike him, he’d drown.

There, his blue gaze had scanned the room, only to stop on a miserable little item, poking out of the bedcovers. A monkey shaped plushy. Saruhiko had gone for it immediately, clutching it so hard in his clean hand he could have destroyed it if he wasn’t careful enough. Then the Captain had led him back to the headquarters. Surprisingly, they had appeared in Saruhiko’s bedroom.

The Captain had suggested for him to rest, because they would need to talk but Saruhiko probably wasn’t in the best condition. Saruhiko had politely declined, his voice out of tune, void of emotions. He knew deep down that the moment he was left alone, he would go mad.

Munakata had agreed because, of course, he understood that, and they had gone to his office after Saruhiko had showered and changed his blood-stained clothes for fresh ones.

In the fancy office, Saruhiko had been forced to sit in front of the head of the bogeymen’s desk, hands still clutching the cuddly toy helplessly. It hurt, but he didn’t notice.

The next hour was blurry. Saruhiko knew he had had to explain exactly what Misaki meant to him, how long it had lasted, what had happened lately, and the events of that night. It was difficult; there were a lot of long pauses in the story. The dark-haired man couldn’t bring himself to talk that much, anyway. It was just long, boring, a pain… It wasn’t excruciating, the pain. It was just numbing him more as it dawned on him. Misaki was dead.

Misaki had died in his arms.

And now he was facing Munakata. Munakata, who knew everything now, assuming that hadn’t already been the case. He had crossed his fingers before his face and looked at Saruhiko intensely. He hadn’t said much since the bogeyman had started vomiting the words.

Now the silence felt suffocating. It lasted a bit longer before his superior eventually spoke.

“Fushimi-kun, you do know that Suoh Mikoto is the current head of the sandmen,” he said. It didn’t surprise Saruhiko that the words weren’t comforting ones. The Captain had fussed over him from the moment he had dragged him away from that hellhole. But he was also a reasonable man, and now wasn’t the time for kind and useless words. They didn’t work anyway. Saruhiko nodded. “I was about to make a proper announcement tonight, when I returned. Before we registered the… unusual movements coming from the district you were operating in. I was still at the Sand Palace when we noticed it, and soon after, the heads were all notified that a Center was awakening in the same location. I identified the nature of our magic; thus, I came and was sure I would find you. But Kushina Anna had to come with me as well. The awakening Center was drawn to Suoh.”

Saruhiko said nothing, just processing the facts.

“Suoh Mikoto’s magic is unstable lately. Since one of the spirits under his command faded, he hasn’t… been himself. We’re concerned. But it was inevitable that sooner or later, a new spirit would awaken to replace him. Kushina Anna came there for this reason. It seems that that young boy is to become a Spirit of the Night and one of Suoh’s Sandmen.”

Somehow, that piece of information didn’t move Saruhiko. His mind was reeling, and he realized he had come to that realization since the start of the explanation. He just didn’t know what to make of it.

The bogeyman closed his eyes. Misaki’s blood was still on his hands;, it was still on his coat. It was still behind his eyelids… Misaki was dead. His heart wouldn’t beat anymore. He wouldn’t live the long life they had planned in the mundane world.

And a part of him wanted to wake up from the numbness and acknowledge the fact that it couldn’t matter less. Misaki would have eternity now; they would have eternity, before them. But at what price? The suffering, the pain, the loss…

Misaki would have to leave his family and friends behind. It wasn’t like Saruhiko was worth that sacrifice… And he had been hurt beyond everything. Saruhiko had felt the pain in his bones; he was sure he couldn’t forgive himself for letting that happen.

“Fushimi-kun. What happened tonight was bound to happen, and you can’t take responsibility for it. Whether you were there or not, the circumstances would not have changed, and your presence in this boy’s life has not changed his fate either.”

How convenient it was that his boss could read his mind so easily. Saruhiko’s jaw clenched painfully and he looked down. It started to hit him, slowly but surely. It was rising again: the anger, the pain… The horror.

“You also have to keep in mind that he might not recall his previous life immediately. Most of our memories come back only after some time has passed since the awakening and thus… he may not remember you. No one can say what will happen, but you have to prepare yourself for that eventuality.”

“I lost him already. I lost him! Don’t you think it’s a bit too late to prepare myself?” Saruhiko ground out through gritted teeth. For the first time, he felt it: the words, and their meaning. He wasn’t so numb anymore. He was boiling…

Munakata felt it and got to his feet. “Fushimi-kun, I feel your loss and not only in a literal way despite what you think. You should rest for now and I’ll keep you under watch if anything should happen…”

“I don’t need to be watched. I don’t need despair to feed on - I’m full of that already, if that’s what you want to know,” the bogeyman hissed, getting up too. The cuddly toy in his hands was completely crushed.

He sounded bitter. Munakata didn’t add anything.

 

Two days. Two days, and Saruhiko didn’t know if he had compartmentalized the feelings or if he’d gone crazy. That must have been it… The first day he had come back to his bedroom and once the door had been shut, he had just started to yell and throw away anything within his reach, boiling with hatred and pain… It hadn’t lasted long, just enough to make him feel even worse when he had calmed down and realized it. There was no light anymore in his room; the dark spirit had made the lightbulb explode. His bedsheets were covered in frost too… But Saruhiko didn’t care. He had fallen on his bed anyway and had been laying there for an eternity, too powerful to fade away and too bitter and depressed to move anyway.

Time passed and Saruhiko remained alone in the dark, until dawn came, and then he stayed there some more. The following night, there were footsteps behind his door and someone opened it. Munakata invited himself in without a word and placed a parchment next to Saruhiko. It was new. It wasn’t his old magical parchment. It was another district… Saruhiko wasn’t going to return to that part of Tokyo anymore.

His boss made a comment about a child he needed to go and scare. Because he had to. Despite the trouble amongst the sandmen, they were allowed to scare a couple of them by night, and Saruhiko had a special authorization to do so…

Did Munakata feel that Saruhiko was going to let himself fade away otherwise? Saruhiko didn’t care. Nothing mattered to him anymore. He still felt too absurdly powerful anyway. Munakata left, but it didn’t take the pain away.

 

The following dawn was different. Saruhiko couldn’t hear footsteps at his door… He heard several people running back and forth in the corridors. Maybe they had a situation. Maybe something terrible had happened, but he wasn’t going to check on that if no one cared to check on him first. The dark spirit suddenly hoped that they’d forget about him and let him vanish.

Of course, as soon as the thought crossed his mind, Saruhiko heard light knocking on his door. Like the night before, he didn’t answer. He just made sure to roll away so his back would face whoever dared to enter.

Which they did. Someone pushed the door open, and two people padded in there. Except one brought the light back. It was golden, and dim but warm like… _sand_.

“Saruhiko,” a feminine and quiet voice called him.

Anna. It must have been Anna. He heard her thanking someone and it confirmed that Munakata was the third person in the room.

“Are you alright?”

The bogeyman didn’t answer. He wanted to disappear.

“Saruhiko, something happened. To Misaki.”

“I don’t want to hear it.” For the first time in days, Saruhiko opened his mouth and croaked those words in a raspy and dry voice. It was true. Whatever it was… He didn’t want to be hurt more and he didn’t want to know about Misaki being hurt… He didn’t want anything.

“I think you should. He is a sandman now. And he has awoken. But… When he did, he could only say one thing,” Anna bravely spoke again.

“I’m sure Fushimi-kun will guess what it is,” his boss said with a cool voice.

Saruhiko hated that he did, indeed, understand. He hated even more that his body moved on its own accord and he shifted on the bed to sit and face them. He felt sore. He should have stayed there… He shouldn’t be listening to this. He was going to suffer again. But he did guess.

“He keeps calling your name, Saruhiko. So we went to Seri to give him back as many memories as we could. He gathered them all almost immediately. Saruhiko… Misaki remembers,” Anna said, and this time, her little voice vibrated with determination. “And he keeps calling your name too.”

For a moment, Saruhiko forgot how to breathe. He evaded everything but that fact and took it like a blow. Once again, the dark spirit felt numb all over… His mind blanked. Misaki remembered.

“You bet I do,” a familiar voice interrupted the white noise in Saruhiko’s ears.

The whole world shattered at this precise instant and Saruhiko only realized he had left the bed and was on his feet because his heart suddenly throbbed so painfully that he fell on his knees, a hand clutched to his chest.

It didn’t matter, though, because the following moment, the owner of that voice ran to him and was on his knees too, gripping the bogeyman’s shoulders to hold him.

Misaki was holding him.

“Saruhiko.”

And calling his name.

“We should let them have this moment,” Munakata said, somewhere above them – and it wasn’t his style not to pry but Saruhiko couldn’t spare any thought to it.

“Misaki, Saruhiko. We will wait outside.”

The door fell shut behind them. All of that happened, Saruhiko knew it, somehow but all his attention was focused on the pair of beautiful amber eyes in front of him. They were sparkling, illuminated with a wicked dancing flame… Misaki.

Misaki’s beautiful face, adorning a blinding, lively smile. A smile that turned into a pout as he frowned… Wait…

“You were trying to let yourself die in here? For fuck’s sake, Saruhiko! I can’t believe you!” the redhead burst out suddenly and launched himself at the bogeyman full force.

They fell over, Saruhiko on his back, directly on the floor - air was knocked out his lungs when Misaki landed on him, and it was a warm body, a living and moving body… The body of the person he loved. It was too much.

“You’re too lively for a corpse,” he heard himself say in that raspy broken voice. Then the lump in his throat that had appeared some time ago became too painful and a strangled sob escaped Saruhiko’s lips, and he started crying for good. Real, warm tears rolling on his stitched cheeks, blurring his vision as he buried his face in the red hair.

“Saruhiko,” Misaki whispered, hugging him close and nuzzling his temple. “I’m here. And I’m never leaving you ever again.”

That sentence, and what it implied… The fact that it put into words Saruhiko’s loss and what he had felt these past days; despite the fact that they would really have the eternity together now… he felt the urge to hug his lover closer.

“I’m sorry Misaki,” Saruhiko said when the sobs calmed down enough. “I’m sorry! I wish it never happened. You must—“

“I am _not_ angry with you. Nor with anyone, dumbass. Ugh… Your boss, he warned me you would say something like that, well… Spare yourself the trouble,” the redhead chuckled happily after an aggravated sigh.

Saruhiko pushed him back a little, to see him clearly. He was the one frowning now. “You are _not_ joking about that now, are you, Misaki?”

The redhead rolled his eyes, hands on each side of Saruhiko’s face to support himself. “I am. And fucking get used to it, because that joke is never getting old, ok?”

Saruhiko didn’t say a word. A part of him wanted to cry again, from happiness this time. And though he fought it with all of his already wounded pride, he was overjoyed by the fact that Misaki hadn’t changed one bit. He was exactly the same person. “And now I want a goddamn kiss, Saru,” he added.

Exactly the same person.

For a couple of seconds, Saruhiko’s hands reached for the beloved face he knew by heart, thumbs tracing the line of his jaw, cheekbones, and temples. Then, yes, he pulled him down, tangling his fingers in the red locks… All the tiny touches he thought he had lost. And their lips met in a gentle kiss.

Right before the room exploded. Or at least it felt like it. They both shot their eyes open in surprise, frozen into the demonstration of affection, and then Misaki broke it, eyes wide as saucers and looking around with amazement. “Wohoho! Wow! The fuck was that?” he gasped in awe.

There still was a storm of flames around them that was just fading and leaving the room as if nothing had happened - but something had happened.

Something that made Saruhiko’s throat close up. And Misaki felt it too, after the shock of the explosion, because he brought a hand to his chest while making a face. “Uh, that’s odd - I felt like… something.”

“That’s not _odd_ , idiot. That’s your heartbeat.”

_Their_ heartbeat _._

For a short moment, Misaki stared back at him in confusion and, seriously, Saruhiko was starting to get fed up with the overwhelming emotions… He felt like breaking again, and he wasn’t going to let himself be so weak! No!

But it felt odd, indeed, even if he pretended it didn’t. Saruhiko had thought now that Misaki was a Guardian too, there would be no more heartbeat, ever… And he had just been proven wrong.

“Hey! I’m new to this, ok? I didn’t… Well, I thought now we were both… You know… But eh! That’s fucking awesome!” Misaki grinned widely, apparently exhilarated by the fact. “So did you know I ascended as a sandman because my Center was apparently too strong for nightmares? I’m like a dreams kind of guy!” he joked, wiggling his eyebrows like an idiot. A beautiful idiot.

“No, I didn’t,” Saruhiko answered, hypnotized by the vision above him. He still had a hard time believing it.

“Geez, Saru, you were supposed to say I was the man of your dreams or something!” his lover whined, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, that explains a lot of things actually! And probably why I wasn’t so afraid of you back then,” the redhead bragged.

It was absurd; it was like nothing had happened…

“You were terrified when you were little - don’t lie, Misaki,” he responded almost absent-mindedly.

“Not true! And whatever! They also told me that’s the reason why I was so good at dealing with kids! You know, like when I was the only one able to put my siblings to bed when my mom was driven nuts by them. Or when I could calm down my friend’s sister even after she saw a terrifying monster like _you_!”

Now Misaki was laughing whole-heartedly, and it hurt inside the bogeyman’s chest. The pain blossomed, mixed with an avalanche of wonderful feelings. Misaki was radiating with warmth and joy…

“And I can actually give children dreams for real, Saruhiko! Like I’m the opposite of you! I’m warning you already, we’re gonna have a fucking competition, right?” he was smirking now.

Saruhiko’s lips twisted into a little grin too. “You’ve got a lot to learn, Misaki. You will be way behind,” he said, fingers prickling with the desire to be touching him again. Kissing him…

They shared a challenging look and the redhead let out a deep, content sigh after some time.

“Fuck, it’s like a dream! The best dream ever, Saruhiko. I’m—I’m so happy I didn’t lose you.”

This time, the amber eyes started to shine for a new reason. It seemed that past the excitement and the joy, the mad puppy was starting to realize what was happening too, and it filled his eyes with tears. Saruhiko bit his lip. Misaki let himself fall over him again, hugging him tight. “I love you so much. Fuck! I’m so… Saruhiko, I’m the happiest person alive.”

“You’re wrong,” Saruhiko croaked, then.

“Y—yeah… I mean on earth or whatev—“

“No,” Saruhiko cut him off again, and cupped his face to force Misaki to look in his eyes. He loved them so much. He loved that whole being more than he had ever love anything or anyone else. And they would never part again. Slowly he pushed himself up enough so that their lips would brush. An eternity of that. Of _them_. “I mean, you’re not, Misaki. I am. I am the happiest person alive.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you a millionth times! Thank you to the end of the galaxy! When I first posted that one-shot Halloween!themed I had NO IDEA it would turn into such a big verse and then a long story... And here we are now, eight months later.  
> You've been so many to join, and I'm the most thankfull person on earth now... I received so many encouraging comments, I've improved so much since it started thanks to your little advices and great praises. You were all wonderful and made this verse what it is now too.  
> If some of you still didn't see the movie RISE OF THE GUARDIANS, do so, please. Even if I bent it a LOT, it's one of the best animated movie of the decade and you should give it a try!  
> I'm so sad to leave Give me your best Roar now...
> 
> So... I thought maybe the verse can live on through some one-shots/drabbles here and now. If you're ever interested in reading about Sandman!Misaki and Bogeyman!Saruhiko, please don't hesitate to submit ideas on my [tumblr](http://kptainofthecheap.tumblr.com) or [there on AO3](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5987353/chapters/13758604) immediately where I'll post the mini fics. Same if you're ever interested in reading an episode of their life I didn't cover when Misaki was human. Please do submit <3
> 
> I hope you appreciated that ending too. And I need to thank [SilverThunder](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverThunder/pseuds/SilverThunder) a lot because she proofread this chapter so it'd be better for you all! Misaki didn't become a Bogeyman... But he's a spirit of the night anyway, don't worry, his fate is intertwined with Saruhiko's for ever.
> 
> Really this fic made me grow and my writing too and I hope it's only the start of this. Thank you, everyone <3


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